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Original poster

DP hates my favourite mug

61 replies

AmITheAsshole · 05/08/2021 02:55

It was a present from my father for my 21st birthday.

He died when I was 27.

This has been my favourite mug for nearly 10 years. Its the only mug I’ll drink out of when I’m at home. My dp hates it though. He thinks I have an unhealthy relationship with this mug and thinks I need to let it go.

Is he right?

OP posts:
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 05/08/2021 07:20

Be careful. He might 'accidentally' break it. He sounds horrible.

custardbear · 05/08/2021 07:21

@SarahBellam

Mugs are like men. When you've got the right one, you stick. Even if you don't think it's your type at first, even if it has weird bits, even if other people think it's funny looking - when you know, you know.
👆 hilarious!
NeedToKnow101 · 05/08/2021 07:21

@ActonSquirrel

My most treasured possession is a christening present and is as old as I am.

It is jewellery from my dearly departed godmother.

I rarely wear it I'd be devastated to lose it.

I'd be worried about breaking or chipping the mug. The odds of that happening if it is in use daily for over a decade now are high.

I recently broke my christening mug which I'd kept safe for 50 years. Luckily it was 'just' the handle so I glued it and now use it for garlic, but I'm still gutted it's broken and can't be used 'properly' any more.

NeedToKnow101 · 05/08/2021 07:23

Of course your DP isn't right, OP! Does he feel threatened by a mug?!!!

AhNowTed · 05/08/2021 07:28

@Apeirogon

He's jealous of a mug?!

My thoughts exactly.

YarnOver · 05/08/2021 07:34

Well that's bloody mean of him
Just watch out that he doesn't "accidentally" do something to the mug.

SometimesIFeedTheSparrows · 05/08/2021 08:02

That's odd and one hell of a red flag.

DH laughed when I bought my latest favourite mug. He said we had too many mugs. He said I didn't need another one. Then he got it out to make me a cup of tea and was very impressed. He declared it "very smooth," "nice and heavy," and "a proper good mug" and that he'd needed to put more water in the kettle to fill it. And now he chooses it for me every morning.

This a £2.99 mug from Tesco, not an ages old family heirloom - your DP should show it some respect, not be jealous of it.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 05/08/2021 08:09

I have a favourite glass. It has no sentimental value behind it, it just holds the right amount of liquid, isn’t too heavy, isn’t too big at the top so you end up dribbling on yourself. It’s quite hard to knock over. That can be the only dirty glass in the house and I would still prefer to wash that one up and drink out of it.

I can maybe understand if he’s worried about it breaking and how you’ll cope. Otherwise he’s a knob.

GCAcademic · 05/08/2021 08:13

@SarahBellam

Mugs are like men. When you've got the right one, you stick. Even if you don't think it's your type at first, even if it has weird bits, even if other people think it's funny looking - when you know, you know.
So true. I have never found the right mug. I keep buying new ones in the hope that, this time, it will be the one.
MrsSkylerWhite · 05/08/2021 08:15

Do people really care about other people’s crockery? Unless it says “partners name” is a twat or similar, that’s decidedly odd.

GCAcademic · 05/08/2021 08:17

On a more serious note, your partner is being horrible. Criticising your attachment to something your late father gave to you is callous and any decent person would avoid this. We have a truly fugly houseplant that was given to my husband by his grandmother decades ago, and which amazingly seems to have survived where all other houseplants die under my care. I wouldn't dream of voicing my feelings about the creepy ugly thing and, though I'd be lying if I said I haven't fantasised about the thing dying, I would never harm it and would be upset for him if that actually did happen.

Notonthestairs · 05/08/2021 08:35

Your boyfriend is jealous of a mug.

If DH had a similar mug the only comment I'd have would be to say that I'll never wash it up (for fear of breaking it).

My mum bought me a purse 4 days before she died - 8 years later it's still in use and falling apart but I can't imagine anyone telling me to stop using it.

remainsofthesummer · 05/08/2021 08:46

I have two egg cups that I feel similarly about x

ShitShop · 05/08/2021 09:30

I totally get that you’re attached to the mug because it represents your dad, but it’s difficult to say if you are indeed being weird about it. When you say it’s the only mug you drink out of at home does that mean if he makes you a cup of tea and doesn’t want to wash up your mug first, so uses a different one, that you refuse to drink it, or will have a go at him etc?

I think having a favourite mug for whatever reason is totally normal. Refusing to drink out of any other (at home - because apparently it doesn’t count outside of home) is a bit weird and I can see why he might be questioning just how an inanimate object has taken on such significance.

I don’t want to be insensitive and have indeed lost both my parents so I’m not totally without empathy for you, but I just think those saying “lost the boyfriend” are having a gut reaction to him “having a problem with your grief/love for your dad” whereas he may actually just be genuinely baffled about the connection being so strong that it stops you drinking tea from another cup.

MissTrip82 · 05/08/2021 09:42

This seems like a massive red flag.

Even someone who’s never experienced a major grief should have the empathy to understand this.

Bbub · 05/08/2021 10:12

Has he ever seen you get stressed about the mug? Is that why he thinks it's unhealthy. Does he forget and make you a cuppa in a different one, and either of you get annoyed for example. It's fine to have a favourite mug that means a lot to you but maybe he thinks you're fixated on it a bit too much. On the face of it there's nothing wrong with what you're saying but there must be a reason it's caused some tension? I'm not judging at all and very sorry about your Dear Dad 💜

BillMasen · 05/08/2021 10:17

Maybe he’s just gently concerned you’re a bit too obsessive if you really won’t use another (so you refuse? Make him pour drinks he’s already made into it?). I understand a favourite for good sentimental reasons but be honest, are you being a bit obsessive?

NowWhatUsernameShallIHave · 05/08/2021 10:48

Is Your DP is controlling in other ways too

Unless you’re waving it in his face every 5 mins this is odd behaviour for a grown man

Miraloma · 05/08/2021 11:10

Oh OP this is shitty.

Growing up, my dad used to always put the wee date sticker from the loaf of bread across the bridge of his nose 'so he didn't lose it'

When DH and I first moved in together and he saw me do it he would make such a fuss about how ridiculous it was and how it really annoyed him.

After my dad died a few years ago he now opens the bread and comes and finds me wherever I am in the house to stick it on my nose.

AdoptedBumpkin · 05/08/2021 11:16

Not sure how he can resent an object which means a lot to you. I hope he's not abusive to you?

steppemum · 05/08/2021 11:58

@Miraloma

Oh OP this is shitty.

Growing up, my dad used to always put the wee date sticker from the loaf of bread across the bridge of his nose 'so he didn't lose it'

When DH and I first moved in together and he saw me do it he would make such a fuss about how ridiculous it was and how it really annoyed him.

After my dad died a few years ago he now opens the bread and comes and finds me wherever I am in the house to stick it on my nose.

Oh that is very moving x x
Polkadots2021 · 05/08/2021 13:14

@squishyegg

He sounds like a wanker
GrinGrin I agree. It's a freaking mug. Get over yourself, OPs husband.
SixesAndEights · 05/08/2021 13:28

Yes, get rid of the P, keep the mug.

MinkeDinkie · 05/08/2021 14:07

@SometimesIFeedTheSparrows

That's odd and one hell of a red flag.

DH laughed when I bought my latest favourite mug. He said we had too many mugs. He said I didn't need another one. Then he got it out to make me a cup of tea and was very impressed. He declared it "very smooth," "nice and heavy," and "a proper good mug" and that he'd needed to put more water in the kettle to fill it. And now he chooses it for me every morning.

This a £2.99 mug from Tesco, not an ages old family heirloom - your DP should show it some respect, not be jealous of it.

I think you have the same favourite mug as me! Grin

As for the OP's mug, I'd be really worried about breaking it due to the sentimental value, so from that point of view I'd rather be making tea in mugs that wouldn't be causing massive amounts of heart ache if it accidentally got chipped or broken, so might be gently encouraging it might be ok to use other mugs sometimes too. But not to get rid of it - just to keep it safe so it's still going strong in another 10 years.

Ozanj · 05/08/2021 14:10

I have a mug like this so DH spent stupid money to buy a set he could replace it with secretly if it broke. I only found out when I opened one of the parcels.

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