DH has been staying in a local hotel for the past 7 weeks. He was asked to move out because he had an emotional affair from Nov - May with a work colleague who is based abroad. DH fell head over heals in love with her almost immediately and they tried to end their EA a few times but he couldn't let her go. I think the EA ended mid April when I saw messages on his phone to her and I confronted him and called her about it. She went over the top and kept crying that she was going to kill herself because she had had enough (I dont know why she was so upset as when they were caught out before she would tell me to give him another chance). After this, DH was asked to move out and he did for 6 weeks, when he came back we agreed we would give the marriage another go but on the day he came back he asked to sleep in the spare room which caused another big fight between us. Since then he had been cold and hardly spoke to me (he carried on sleeping in the spare room). Every time i tried to speak to him he would tell me that he didn't think the marriage would work and that he was happy to live by himself in the spare room, we tried this for a few weeks but it was too much for me and after having a panic attack which his family were called (they live a few doors down) and his mum was told about his affair and I repeatedly asked him to leave (i was very upset). He was not happy but left, since then, I have tried to speak to him and he does not really give me any time and he seems to be getting more and more angry when i call, He wants to come home and we live separately in the same house but we remain civil for our DD17. I have said this will not work for me and he now says i am preventing him from being there for our DD who is very angry and upset with him.
I am finding it really hard to move on, I still love him and wish he would try and talk to me in a calm way. He does not call or text me but does try and remain in touch with DD who occasionally will pick up his call. He blames me for every argument that we have had in the past and has repeatedly told me the marriage no longer works for him but he still wants to move back.
How do i move on from this? Where is the anger coming from? He had the EA and yet he is so angry at me, only this morning when I called him at 7am he was shouting and so very angry.
The OW is 25 and he is 54 - i think he is still in love with her although they are no longer talking to each other. Is he blaming me for ending it? They both know it was never going to amount to anything because of the age difference and living in different countries - And they have never met!
I think of him all the time, we have been married for 23 years and been together for 30 years. If i give him time, will he come to his senses? 23 years is a long marriage to throw away but I can't seem to get him to talk to me. We used to talk everyday but now the longest we've not spoken is 6 days and that ended with me calling him.
What do I do? I really dont want to give up but he seems to have dumped me without a care.