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Original poster

Girlfriend being very unreasonable

81 replies

Lostfound21 · 02/08/2021 13:10

Hi,

On Saturday night I went for a drink in my town since Feb 2020. I met one friend who was home for the weekend and two friends who live in the town who I hadn't had a drink with in 18 months. Since Covid started this was the third time I had met some of my male friends without my girlfriend. I said she was welcome to come in Saturday but she said no and so I went in met my friends had a few drinks and waked home (we live separately). I had also told my girlfriend I was going to bring her into town for dinner and drinks the following night also.

All hell broke loose and she sent me messages giving out about me wanting to be one of the lads and that most men grow put of it by their 30s.and no woman would put up with it. I'm 46:and she is 37. It's the third time I've met my friends in 18 months and even before covid I only met them 3/4 times a year and I always ask my girlfriend if she wants to join us
She meets her friends for dinner and drinks occasionally and always tells me it's girls only and I'm not invited. It's not like we never do anything. In the last 2 months we have been on a week's holiday in a costal resort, been to Vienna for a weekend, been for dinner and drinks in a town nearby and had an extended sunday lunch with drinks in a gastro pub in her village and were going for dinner in my town last night before all hell broke loose.

I don't think I've done anything wrong but she is tearing strips off me since for meeting my friends

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostfound21 · 02/08/2021 13:13

*went for a drink in my town for first time since Feb 2020

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 02/08/2021 13:15

Dump and block. She's ridiculous and a massive hypocrite.

minniemouseshouses · 02/08/2021 13:15

She sounds controlling and just all over bad news OP. Id seriously consider this relationship and what you are getting from it.

ExplodingCarrots · 02/08/2021 13:22

Dump and move on OP. She's controlling . It's ok for her to go out but not you. Not a healthy relationship. You've done nothing wrong .

girlmom21 · 02/08/2021 13:26

Tell her to piss off and enjoy being 'one of the lads'. She sounds nuts.

Everydayisawindingroad · 02/08/2021 13:36

Unless you are getting absolutely inebriated and charged with public order offences when you go out as “one of the lads” she’s being utterly unreasonable and I think it’s prudent to reconsider your relationship.

excelledyourself · 02/08/2021 13:38

She's not cut out to be a girlfriend. Yours, or anyone's.

She is the one who needs to grow up.

I would never invite my partner every time I went out with my female friends, and wouldn't expect to be invited out with him and only his male friends. Why are you even inviting her?

Do yourself a huge favour and end it.

Original poster
Lostfound21 · 02/08/2021 14:00

I generally meet my friends in one of the older quieter pubs in town. I'd say majority of patrons are 50+. We generally sit at a table on our own, keep to ourselves and have a few drinks (prob more than my doctor would advise alright) then walk home without any fuss trouble or incident. There has never been any trouble or hassle between us or anyone esle outside our group ever. They wouldn't be my friends if there was, as we have zero tolerance for that sort of unnecessary trouble

OP posts:
Original poster
Lostfound21 · 02/08/2021 14:02

*that was a reply to Everydayisawindingroad. I messed up the quote function

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 02/08/2021 14:03

Mate, she is off her trolley and a hypocrite to boot.

Original poster
Lostfound21 · 02/08/2021 14:05

@excelledyourself

She's not cut out to be a girlfriend. Yours, or anyone's.

She is the one who needs to grow up.

I would never invite my partner every time I went out with my female friends, and wouldn't expect to be invited out with him and only his male friends. Why are you even inviting her?

Do yourself a huge favour and end it.

It's less hassle and easier if I invite her and tbh sonetimes of like her to come in but she says no a lot as I can't imagine 3/4 middle aged men talking about politics and sport and school 30 years ago is very exciting
OP posts:
NoYOUbekind · 02/08/2021 14:05

This is controlling behaviour. I'd run a mile if I were you.

Fran45528 · 02/08/2021 14:06

Oh wow she sounds unhinged, you have done nothing wrong and are a saint in comparison to a lot of men your age. She is controlling and doesn’t want you enjoying yourself without her. Do not believe her when she says you need to grow up etc, you have acted completely normally and she is trying to make you doubt yourself.

Ruby0707 · 02/08/2021 14:08

You are entitled to spend time with your friends. In fact, we need it as humans, especially after the last 18 months we have had.

She is being very unreasonable and sounds controlling which is a form of abuse.

Cockenspiel · 02/08/2021 14:12

This is 100% her problem.

I’d be telling her that she needs to to address this attitude and behaviour or it’s over and go through with it if she tries to pull this sort of thing again.

excelledyourself · 02/08/2021 14:13

Out of interest, how long have you been in this relationship?

Imjustsootired · 02/08/2021 14:13

Run. You did nothing wrong here, she needs to calm down and understand you're behaving perfectly well. Really weird controlling and unfair behaviour

Dinky2004 · 02/08/2021 14:14

God I couldn't put up with that
My DP goes out once or twice a month to meet friends as do I in the evenings
It's generally a have a great night, enjoy yourself and see you later type thing
The fact that she does exactly the same but has a problem with you doing it is a big red flag to me

NewYear2021 · 02/08/2021 14:19

Wanna date me? I love Vienna

SamVimes6 · 02/08/2021 14:21

There is nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said!

She is nasty. Dump her. Find someone more on your wavelength.

1forAll74 · 02/08/2021 14:26

You seem to have a woman who could be a bit of a blight on your life, if this happens frequently. You go away and do things together, so she seems to just wan't you all to herself at all times. This could be selfish, or being insecure, only you can know this.

Original poster
Lostfound21 · 02/08/2021 14:35

@NoYOUbekind

This is controlling behaviour. I'd run a mile if I were you.
This is the conclusion I'm coming to myself
OP posts:
NailsNeedDoing · 02/08/2021 14:38

@minniemouseshouses

She sounds controlling and just all over bad news OP. Id seriously consider this relationship and what you are getting from it.
This first post says it all.
Mayorquimby2 · 02/08/2021 14:43

Sack her off

Original poster
Lostfound21 · 02/08/2021 14:44

@Ruby0707

You are entitled to spend time with your friends. In fact, we need it as humans, especially after the last 18 months we have had.

She is being very unreasonable and sounds controlling which is a form of abuse.

That's my point to her. I have spent the last 18 months working from my kitchen with very little interaction outside of the house. I met my friends in sep 2020 and June this year when i visited one of my friends houses for a night and then this Saturday. That is it since Feb 2020. Eveything else I've done since then has been with my girlfriend, which given lockdowns has been difficult, but we've still been away domestically for a week, in Germany for 2 weekends and vienna plus dinner/drinks about 3/4 times locally plus spending every at least 4 nights a week together. The other nights I'm at home in bed by 10.30 as my job is demanding add I also run/play sport when I'm not with her so am tired. I only go to the pub every 2!3 months and only to meet friends but according to her I need to grow out of it and I want to be one of the lads. Ye see all right, this s completely unfair.. I think i just needed to hear it from someone else
OP posts:
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