Girlfriend being very unreasonable

[Lostfound21]

Hi,

On Saturday night I went for a drink in my town since Feb 2020. I met one friend who was home for the weekend and two friends who live in the town who I hadn't had a drink with in 18 months. Since Covid started this was the third time I had met some of my male friends without my girlfriend. I said she was welcome to come in Saturday but she said no and so I went in met my friends had a few drinks and waked home (we live separately). I had also told my girlfriend I was going to bring her into town for dinner and drinks the following night also.

All hell broke loose and she sent me messages giving out about me wanting to be one of the lads and that most men grow put of it by their 30s.and no woman would put up with it. I'm 46:and she is 37. It's the third time I've met my friends in 18 months and even before covid I only met them 3/4 times a year and I always ask my girlfriend if she wants to join us
She meets her friends for dinner and drinks occasionally and always tells me it's girls only and I'm not invited. It's not like we never do anything. In the last 2 months we have been on a week's holiday in a costal resort, been to Vienna for a weekend, been for dinner and drinks in a town nearby and had an extended sunday lunch with drinks in a gastro pub in her village and were going for dinner in my town last night before all hell broke loose.

I don't think I've done anything wrong but she is tearing strips off me since for meeting my friends

RUN

Urgh what a strange and stressful way to conduct yourself in a relationship. It isn't normal to be like this with your DP at all. You don't own each other or the other persons time. I would end it with her OP.

Thanks all. Everyone here has basically confirmed what I was thinking and I shouldn't have to put up with this when I meet my friends

@Lostfound21

Thanks all. Everyone here has basically confirmed what I was thinking and I shouldn't have to put up with this when I meet my friends

definitely ...

have you ended this yet ?

sounds like the better option, nobody needs that aggro for simply meeting friends 🌸

Unless you're coming in steaming at 3am or something then I don't get her problem. Unless you've had form for cheating or doing drugs. Or getting so rat arsed that you piss the bed.

The only thing you are being unreasonable about is inviting her to join in your friends’ night out in the first place. I’m guessing there is a history of her making a fuss and you’re pussy footing around her?

Sounds like you need to see a bit more of your friends and a little bit less of the girlfriend. İ think she's trying to see how much emotional attention she can get out of you and it's up to you to create some kind of balance and boundaries.

I think i just needed to hear it from someone else

This is an issue. Her behaviour is so clearly controlling, and yet you need other people to say it before you know you're right. I'd imagine she's probably controlling in other ways and you just let it go because she makes you feel like your viewpoint isn't valid?

Have a look at you. She needs to go, but there are plenty others like her, and without developing some boundaries, you'll get into the same relationship time and again.

Pure projection from her. Run a mile.

She is batshit.
Ye don't live together thank goodness.

She is showing you EXACTLY who she is and you too would be BATSHIT if you don't believe her.

End it today and don't look back.
👍

Tell her it's her problem...get over it or get gone!

Insane

Unless you are being brought home in handcuffs .. covered in love bites and stinking of puke

She's got a fucking cheek

You are perfectly entitled to see your mates and discuss football tits or snooker .. or whatever without putting up with that shite

Tell her to get back to you when she's grown the fuck up. Then ignore her tantrum.

Or think about your future together.

I am so surprised at how passive you appear to be. She's totally in the wrong and overeacting to you meeting a friend.

Is she always so demanding, controlling and hypocritical?

So she can go out but you can't?

Nah get rid

As everyone else has said, dump her and move on, you can't be dealing with that every time you want to go out for a drink and have a social life, don't listen to her about people not going out later on in life, she's talking BS

Might be best to call it a day

She’s red flag bunting.

Can only imagine how controlling she would be if you were to actually live with her...

As others have said, she’s controlling.

People like that don’t usually change. Think about living like this for the next 20/30/40 years. Not appealing? Walk away.

Not RTFT.

Just ditch her. Obviously.

You don't live together. So not complicated.

Just say sorry not working for me. Sorry bye.

Done.

@Lostfound21

I generally meet my friends in one of the older quieter pubs in town. I'd say majority of patrons are 50+. We generally sit at a table on our own, keep to ourselves and have a few drinks (prob more than my doctor would advise alright) then walk home without any fuss trouble or incident. There has never been any trouble or hassle between us or anyone esle outside our group ever. They wouldn't be my friends if there was, as we have zero tolerance for that sort of unnecessary trouble

I didn’t think that was the case, it was more a case of demonstrating that there was very little justification for her behaviour.

This doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship.
Your GF is showing you exactly who she is... Do you yourself a huge favour and cut ties and move on. This level of controlling behaviour will only get worse.