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Original poster

Am I being too needy?

68 replies

Embarrazed · 30/07/2021 16:16

So I’ve been dating this guy for a while. We see each other once a week due to work etc. When he’s at work we still talk throughout the day, sometimes he doesn’t reply back to me quite early on in the day. I try not to be too pushy because know he’s been stressed and then maybe the next day he’s quite keen and we have phone calls. When we’re together everything is fine.

As I said I know he’s been stressed and quite sad really so I got him a surprise. He’s busy these next few weeks with family commitments etc so I told him about the present this morning. He just said something so bland like cute. Nothing else. He’s obviously ignored me as he’s been online basically all day at work. We don’t have to talk all day but not even a thank you or making an effort after my thoughtful gift. I think is quite rude. Am I being needy?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2021 16:17

I'm thinking you're far more invested in this relationship than he is.

clickychicky · 30/07/2021 16:18

He's busy. As long as he thanks you later I think that's ok?

Its90minutestonight · 30/07/2021 16:19

But he's at work!

Original poster
Embarrazed · 30/07/2021 16:19

He’s done things like this before for me, which is why I felt comfortable enough to do it? Maybe I am. I just would expecr him to want to talk to me. Not all the time...

OP posts:
Demilunary · 30/07/2021 16:20

I agree with @Aquamarine1029. There’s a mismatch in your level of investment. You’re very invested and continually trying to gauge his level of interest and he sounds very lukewarm.

clickychicky · 30/07/2021 16:20

He's busy though

Original poster
Embarrazed · 30/07/2021 16:20

I know he’s at work, but he’s been online all day Blush
and he usually talks to me throughout the day. Sometimes I don’t mind because he could be busy. But sometimes our conversations sometimes end at like 1pm. Then that’s it until the next day

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrazed · 30/07/2021 16:21

And then he will act interested, last night he called me for an hour? Then other times he won’t at all? I don’t get it. He went through a period of saying good morning as soon as he was up. Now that’s stopped

OP posts:
Demilunary · 30/07/2021 16:22

I have to say, though, that I personally find being messaged unnecessarily enormously annoying — it’s something I use either for emergencies or reminders, or to friends to arrange a time to phone or meet — and would be baffled and maddened by someone who kept doing it while I was at work. Which would make me a poor romantic match for someone who saw it as important.

ExplodingCarrots · 30/07/2021 16:23

If you know he's been online all day that means you've been constantly checking up on him so in my opinion yes you seem very needy. What's there to talk about all day ? You need to cool it down OP.

clickychicky · 30/07/2021 16:23

Maybe he has nothing to say?

Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2021 16:24

You may need to accept that he's distancing himself. Sounds like it to me.

Sally2791 · 30/07/2021 16:24

Don’t waste your head space agonising about what a man may or may not be thinking. Get on with your life and be open to people more interested in you.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2021 16:24

@Sally2791

Don’t waste your head space agonising about what a man may or may not be thinking. Get on with your life and be open to people more interested in you.
Exactly.
Original poster
Embarrazed · 30/07/2021 16:24

We don’t need to talk all day at all. I mostly just leave him to it. It’s just now I feel like we haven’t spoken at all basically. It was one word. And it’s a change from how we would normally talk.

I have been looking that he’s been online I admit , I don’t know why it’s annoying me so much right now

OP posts:
clickychicky · 30/07/2021 16:27

Maybe be open to meeting other people.

clickychicky · 30/07/2021 16:27

And he might be online all day wondering what tou are doing online all day.

thisgardenlife · 30/07/2021 16:27

I'm sorry, but regardless of the inconsistent texting, I think if he was as invested in you as you are in him you would be seeing each other more frequently than once a week.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2021 16:29

@thisgardenlife

I'm sorry, but regardless of the inconsistent texting, I think if he was as invested in you as you are in him you would be seeing each other more frequently than once a week.
I absolutely agree. No one is that busy.
Aprilx · 30/07/2021 16:29

I don’t know if needy is the right word, but I don’t understand the issue as he has acknowledged your gift.

Aprilx · 30/07/2021 16:30

I agree however, that seeing somebody only once a week after you have been dating “a while” sounds like it is going nowhere.

Original poster
Embarrazed · 30/07/2021 16:31

He lives in the next town over so he usually just comes on the day before his day off and stays over. I have a child so it suits me.

OP posts:
TubeOfSmarties · 30/07/2021 16:32

It sounds like you are on your way down a rabbit hole. Step away from whatsapp. Stop monitoring whether he's online or not. I've dated people who have done this to me and it put me right off.

20thCenturyGhosts · 30/07/2021 16:32

What was the gift as that may be reason why he is gone a bit quiet?

Original poster
Embarrazed · 30/07/2021 16:33

As well he knew he made plans for the next two weeks. And didn’t bother coming on his day off. He obviously doesn’t want to spend time with me. I feel like such an idiot.

I want to be with someone who isn’t okay not seeing me for 3 weeks.

OP posts:
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