I know I've posted in the past and general consensus is that I should leave. I'm not wanting to focus on those issues now but wondering if anyone is going through similar.
Basically my partner (me 33 him 51) has never been supportive or helpful. I became pregnant before we moved in together and despite being anaemic (I fainted during pregnancy) and having a bad back, he never came to stay at my house. Not once. Even when I said I was worried being alone with my 7 year old. We moved in together and I moved house alone. At 35 weeks pregnant I was dissembling beds, climbing in the attic and carrying king sized mattresses. I had nobody to help and no choice. He now says it was due to his back he couldn't help. Although he does have a bad back, his issue is bending. He could have just been there with me or did the high up bits. If I try and discuss this (I know it was 2 years ago but I feel shit about it and want to acknowledge how hard it was) he tells me I'm crazy and need psychiatric help.
Anyway, fast forward 2 years and we live together. I obviously do pretty much everything. He says he can't help much due to his back, so the main things he does are play Xbox and start at his phone. He frustrates me by saying I'm not supportive of him having a bad back and it infuriates me. He did nothing to help after my c section and if I'm ill he doesn't help.
I get up with our child every night, every morning, put him to bed every night, my partner had not once bathed him and I do all housework. Yet apparently I'm not helpful!
Fast forward to now. I've been having chronic pelvic pain since my c section (suspected adhesions or endometriosis) and am in pain daily. However my partners attitude is that I can do more than him. So he'll ask me to pick things up for him etc.
3 days ago he developed gout. He's hobbling around and literally can't do anything; as in make a cup of tea or help with anything. I do appreciate he is probably in pain but he's on a out wanting crutches and a pot to wee in, yet I managed alone after a c section with 2 kids.
I need to ask. Am I a bitch? I feel I've turned into someone I am not. I'm a caring person who would help anyone but I resent him so much. He thinks I'm horrible and not helpful but I'm in pain, looking after our child, doing everything in the house and dissembling beds for a house move. What annoys me more is his attitude of, I'm worse than you, so you should do it all. The most annoying part is that he drinks daily, he started getting gout symptoms but continued drinking. So in my eyes, this is largely self inflicted. I feel he has at least some responsibility to stay healthy to help me. I sometimes wonder hey I'm with a man almost 20 years older that drinks too much, constantly talks over me and leaves me feeling alone.