Oh my I can't cope

[AlwaysB]

I'm in a somewhat abusive marriage .

Sometimes he's lovely and other times
he's absolutely vile to me
and he changes like the wind..

I love him so much because when he is nice there is no one that I love more but when he is nasty ...

Fuck. He hates me. And I cannot put a foot wrong and he will
pounce on me with words...

What do i
Do .

Your brain is trying to protect you, that's why you forget.

What are your thoughts towards leaving?

Could you keep a diary? Hidden, or on here, or with a code or symbols in case he finds it?

It was very useful for me to look back on what my ex was doing, with dates, so I could see how it all added up. It’s also helpful when you divorce for unreasonable behaviour to have a list to hand to your solicitor.

The spitting is one of the most upsetting things I’ve read in a while.

Your poor children, growing up with this.

As pp said a journal is a good idea. I wrote down incidents and it helped to confirm my reality. I don't think you'll every make sense of his behaviour however.

This jekyll and Hyde is very common (abuse cycle) and often it's done to solicit a reaction from you. It makes them feel powerful and in control to know they can impact you.

How does he appear to everyone else?

Him being nice is part of the abuse cycle. It’s calculated to keep you on your toes waiting for any crumb of decency keeps you on the hoi.

This is who he is and isn’t going to change, the relationship is messing with your MH and the cycle will continue if you don’t leave.

Rant away but waiting for non dick version of him to rock up, is futile, the balls in your court.

Please look at the cycle of abuse. People think it takes time for one cycle to begin and end. It doesn’t it can go from the start to the end in minutes depending on how the abuser uses his/her control tactics. I’m so so sad your in the situation OP. I hope you have the strength to leave. Be prepared for all the niceties to sway you back into the cycle that’s all it is remember that. His control and power. Take your own power and reach out to those around you x

The kissing/spitting in your face thing ..... fuuuuck.

He.is one twisted, fucked up mental bustard.