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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

abusive internet date

72 replies

snowbiehamham · 17/07/2021 16:57

Yesterday I met someone on internet dating in person. At his suggestion we met in the park to walk his dog. The weather is good after all and there's this virus. He was chatty and I thought he was a great person but knew he wasn't right for me quickly. Afterwards he sent me a text saying he liked me and would I like to meet again. I said it was nice to meet him, he was a great person but probably just as a friend for me. In return he sent me a long and abusive text message. It said I wasn't his type anyway. I was too shy and quiet. I was snobby, thought I was really intelligent and looked down on people. ( I gave no indication of this. I'm polite and well spoken and from a middle class background and he was working class but I'm not prejudiced and didn't reject him for that) Who meets in a park like 10 years old. Was I ill? I look ill. I look older than I am. He said 'you're more interested in my dog than me. Get your own dog you wierdo.' ( speaking about his dog was a conversation starter as far as I was concerned) When did you last have sex? Plus other things.
I find it inexplicable that a 38 year old man would behave like this. I despair. I really do.

OP posts:
jenjen517 · 17/07/2021 16:59

I think I'd reply 'interesting, lucky escape for me, clearly' and block him completely. Or just block him and ignore.

Well done for trusting your gut

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 17/07/2021 17:01

He showed clearly that you made the right decision!

Sundancerintherain · 17/07/2021 17:01

Bullet dodged op.

catwithflowers · 17/07/2021 17:02

Bloody lucky escape if you ask me 😱. He sounds revolting. At least he showed his true colours early and and you didn't waste loads of valuable time on him.

HollowTalk · 17/07/2021 17:03

Oh god, don't you just want one of those ejector seats like they have on Graham Norton and just get rid of them that way? What an idiot he is. Were you supposed to say, "Oh I've changed my mind, I think you're lovely" after that? If he did like you then he could've said, "Oh that's a shame, I thought you were great!" and then maybe something could have come from it.

Maggiesfarm · 17/07/2021 17:03

He's a dick, you are well out of it.

Whatabouttery · 17/07/2021 17:03

Bloody hell!

Hope your are ok Flowers

That's just bonkers.

Lucky escape though

natis · 17/07/2021 17:04

Sounds like he can't handle rejection very well tbh. He was initially interested in you until his poor ego was damaged!

Why would he want a second date with someone he'd describe in that way?!

At least you seen what he's really like early on

StartingAgain33 · 17/07/2021 17:05

Bloody crazy idiot

Comedycook · 17/07/2021 17:06

Oh god, a similar thing happened to me years ago...Went on one date with a guy. Like you, knew he wasn't my type. He kept trying for a second date...I tried to make excuses thinking it would be obvious I wasn't interested but he didn't take the hint. So I was honest but polite...told him I didn't think we were suited but it was nice to have met him...anyway, he ended up sending me endless insulting, abusive text messages...slagging off everything about me, which I found hilarious considering he had been practically begging me for a second date. Anyway, I told him if I received one more message from him,I'd be passing his details onto the police. He didn't bother me after that...the weasel.

Holothane · 17/07/2021 17:06

Wel done good riddance to bad rubbish.

Clymene · 17/07/2021 17:07

You've had a lucky escape. A man who reacts with anger to a woman saying no is not someone you want in your life

MadMadMadamMim · 17/07/2021 17:09

I'd have text back You have just absolutely confirmed that I made the right decision to not want to see you again. You clearly need help.

And then blocked.

Whaddayahear · 17/07/2021 17:10

Aww you've hurt his poor man ego.

Umberellatheweatha · 17/07/2021 17:20

Standard malignant narcissists tirade. They are not particularly uncommon unfortunately. Its horrifying the sort of stuff they will say.

I'd just reply 'LOL' and block.

Megasausagehead · 17/07/2021 17:27

Yup, typical OLD rejection tactics. Almost worth doing even if you were interested just to weed out the crazies

66babe · 17/07/2021 17:33

I'd reply
" thank fuck you never have to see me again then ...and by the way the dog is better looking , has more common sense and personality than you "

KateTheEighth · 17/07/2021 17:33

Fucking hell

Block him

And have a glass of cold bubbles to celebrate your lucky escape

user1471538283 · 17/07/2021 17:33

Thank goodness your gut told you no!

I've had this from men I've rejected and men being jealous of not getting attention.

AtrociousCircumstance · 17/07/2021 17:35

Fuuuuuuuuuck. Insane.

Bullet dodged as PPs say. And don’t you dare worry about anything he said, it’s all complete bullshit, obviously!

Honeyroar · 17/07/2021 17:40

I think I’d reply “wow my gut feeling was really accurate. Thanks for reassuring me that I 100% swerved a bullet.”

Highfive2021 · 17/07/2021 17:40

I’d message back - ‘that was a test and you failed’ - then block. Grin

Lucky escape OP.

Topseyt · 17/07/2021 17:43

I'd message back just the once saying "Phew! Looks like I have dodged a bullet here" and then block him everywhere.

He's a twat and you really have dodged one. He clearly has a sky high opinion of himself and couldn't understand that others don't.

WatieKatie · 17/07/2021 17:49

Unfortunately some men can get nasty when turned down. I’d ensure his number is blocked and wouldn’t bother responding.

Newestname001 · 17/07/2021 18:00

@WatieKatie

Unfortunately some men can get nasty when turned down. I’d ensure his number is blocked and wouldn’t bother responding.

Yes - this. ^^ Save the messages in case he does come back with more nasty messages, but don't respond. Ie: don't poke the snake.

Silence from you, block and delete. And move on. 🌹

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