“I thought you weren’t eating stuff like that?” **MNHQ adding content warning for ED**

[StuffLikeThat]

My DH said this to me a few hours ago when I had a few of my DS’ sweets. It’s true, I am trying to cut down on junk food in a bid to lose the 2.5 stone of extra weight I’ve gained since second child and lockdown. But it felt SO judgmental. I have had eating disorders in the past (long before I met him, although he knows about it) and about 12m ago, I started binge eating…. related to lockdown and various other things. I WFH full time in a demanding job and I’m not getting out to exercise. My DH is obsessed with exercise and I know that my being overweight makes me less attractive in his eyes. Since he said this, I haven’t had any dinner. I don’t know if this is because I’m punishing him or if it’s triggered something in me, or maybe a bit of both? I dunno. I know I need to lose weight- I’m unhappy with how I look- but I work full time and support our family of 4 (he is a SAHD). Why has this upset me so much?

I said I wasn't going to watch Love Island this year and there I am every night since June 28th.

DP brought that one up with me too.

Maybe the lesson is keep our plans to ourselves and let our actions be our testament.

So don't say you're going to lose weight - or in @Borisjohnsonshairbrush case that you're not going to watch Love Island

And then just quietly go about losing weight...or watching Love Island!! Then they can't say anything

haha btw I was trying to lighten the thread re; Love island OP

But as my earlier post - I get where you are coming from. my ED will forever be part of who I am but If I took offence to everything that people said re; eating I wouldnt get out of bed in the morning.

@Borisjohnsonshairbrush I've got a teenage DD who has managed to suck me in the Love Island year on year, every year I say I wont but I do! but I've held strong this year (so far!)

And I know OP obviously took offence to my post but honestly, I understand what it is have a weird and bad relationship with food as I said it's 20 years and counting for me and I'm facing my 50th birthday STILL not having lost what I swore I would 5 years ago.

Lockdown has been awful for weight gain for so so many people and OP is far from alone but we all share a common truth and that is we KNOW what to do and have nobody else who can do it for us, sadly.