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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I going mad! -controlling behaviour

77 replies

MissSparkle47 · 12/07/2021 21:12

Hello everyone- please can I have some advice. I have been with my OH for 8 years. I will try and keep it short. I sold my house and moved in with him last November (bought a plot of land we are supposed to be building our own house) I knew he had quirky ways but hadn’t realised he wouldn’t let my then 17 year old daughter not come and stay blaming Covid. I would have never moved up if I knew he would never let her stay Even though his daughter came and went between parents she does week on week off . He had asked me to leave numerous times since then I in May took a job which had accomodation with it as I was sick of being asked to leave and having to sleep on my older daughters sofa. I have been dividing my time between both but he’s very vocal on how often I see my children and my friends and I have to be very careful with what I plan as not to upset him. Why do I have to spend a full on week with him and his daughter but I can’t see my own? I walk on broken egg shells around him as I don’t do anything right as his house load the dishwasher hang the washing etc. My dogs were a massive problem for him I have two small one’s they are ten years old he suddenly decided he didn’t want them there. Because I saw my daughter three times last week and went for breakfast with my son he says I am gallivanting. A couple of weeks ago we went out got the train there he had a sulk when we came out of the restaurant I honestly don’t know what I said and he stormed off I had to walk all through the town get the train and walk home by myself in the dark he just left me. He slags my children off something rotten which I can’t stand to hear. I am too embarrassed to talk to my friends about it. Although they have been there when he’s had a stroop and gone off and my children are not enamoured with him.
Please please help me is this normal behaviour…😌

OP posts:
BFPDec21 · 03/12/2021 11:19

You need to get a solicitor to get out of this ASAP.

Have you heard of the documentary and also Netflix series Dirty John? Perhaps you should watch it. He is controlling and trying to cut you off from your family.

Your children will never forgive you, especially once your daughter is a mother herself.

Jk24 · 05/12/2021 02:23

Op have you taken any of this advice on board?

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