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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sure if I'm being gaslighted or treated badly

76 replies

Riggins · 11/07/2021 16:04

Regular user gone anon for this.

Background - DH & I together 25 years this year, had a rough few years about 10 years ago put but it behind us and moved on. Since then everything seemed okay however DH always had a better social life than I with multiple male and female friends.

Anyways I was sure there was nothing in it (had been there before 11 years ago and agreed if it happened again it was over). I the nature of his business he is in contact with 100s of people and has them all on his social media and phone book. So anyways Christmas eve sitting on laptop chatting to a friend when a message popped up from (let's call her Mary - one of said friends) Mary's husband to tell me that my Dh and her were having an affair for over 3 years that he had thought was finished in September but he found some texts the night before and he reckoned DH should be pulled too. When I questioned him back for proof he wouldn't provide any saying he was working on his marriage.
So I went to her and DH, she says it was just a few silly texts he said it was absolutely nothing, she's just a friend who gets him lots of work. Then her and her partner blocked me on facebook which I thought was weird but he kept saying it was cause there was nothing in it.

Fast forward about 3/4 months and I was constantly suspicious - anyway phone never leaves is side at all, but this particularly evening it was in the kitchen so I looked and took screen shots.

Coversation between the two of them went like this :
Him : Put an order into tesco for drink and asked if she (me) wanted a bottle and she picked 6;
her: Who narky
Him: Who else
Her: greedy fucky
Him: yeah 6 bottles probably just for tonight;
Her: Hows your sexlife
Him: had to Sunday
Her Enjoy: HA HA Had Too; give over you love it;
Him: No really its a job when you don't want to:
Her: You still not fancying her so:
Him: No not at all;
Her: Ah you need a good seeing to:
Him : Know anyone :): ) :)

After I took the pictures I confronted him, where he said he was deeply sorry but it was just a joke between friends, but I don't think it's funny or approrpirate.

We have fought over it for weeks with me checking his phone.
He goes the pub every Thursday and she does be there, last Thursday I had a night out that was finishing early so told him I'd call but but didn't. He must've been terrified cos he was in foul humuour all friday too saying he didn't want me showing up in the pub making a fool of him.
Started saying I drink too much, and dragging up things we argued about 20 years ago.

I can't tell anyone about this IRL cos my closed friend has cancer and I don't want to discuss it with anyone else but I feel like I'm going mad.
He's such a charmer when out and a sulk when at home, does nothing around the house and moans constantly but everyone loves him so I'm the nightmare.

I'm not sure anyone if I'm going mad, being gaslighted or just been the laughing stock of the pair of them.

I suppose I'm just looking for people's honest opinions as the constant conversations in my head are wearing me out.

OP posts:
username18702 · 11/07/2021 16:09

Fucking hell OP, I would be devastated if I saw my partner had written that about me. What a disgusting thing to say. He's discussing your sex life with another woman. He's absolutely despicable. He's really bad mouthing you, making out you're a drinker as well.

xsquared · 11/07/2021 16:11

They're both being disrespectful towards you. He shouldn't be joking about his sex life with anyone let alone this woman.

Galighting or not, he is treating you very badly, and there are severe trust issues that need resolving.

LockdownLisa · 11/07/2021 16:12

I really think that seeing a conversation like that would end my marriage, never mind the rest of your OP. I would feel humiliated, unloved and unattractive and I just don't think I could stay married to somebody who made me feel that way.

He's implying you have a problem with drink - is it possible that that's true?

Melminiani · 11/07/2021 16:18

I’m so sorry OP. Those messages are cruel, disrespectful and so so out of order. I’m not sure I could look at my DP again once I’d seen that he talked about me like that, let alone with another woman, let alone with a woman he was previously accused of having an affair with.

Then to minimise such an horrible thing and make it into your problem is so unkind and smacks of him trying to make you into the villain so he can alleviate his guilt. What an absolute fucker.

I don’t think I could move on from this.

Have you thought about what you might do?

Riggins · 11/07/2021 16:19

No I don't have a problem with drink. I do like a glass of wine at home and admittedly more so during Covid than normal but I hold that a very stressful job that I would not risk.

He's very good at switching the conversations around to anything that I can be blamed for.

There's been stupid issues since christmas, we live on a main road so front garden gets filthy, I ask him not to throw cigarette butss in garden after I've cleaned it but he totally ignores me and just goes ahead - knowing I won't leave it looking like a tip.

I just don't know anymore - my head feels melted. the teenagers are starting to adopt his habits too - putting delph on top of dishwasher not in it - as an eg. But I work fulltime too but cos it's not a manual job it's not considered equal.

I just don't see how that coversation could be classed as a joke and I'm struggling to accept it. At one of the kids activities yesterday I heard of one of the mums with terminal cancer and I suppose that got me thinking do I want to live like this for the next 10 years - but neither of us could afford a second place.

OP posts:
IAmAWomanNotACis · 11/07/2021 16:20

It's not okay that he was that disrespectful about you Sad

I don't know if I would leave him over it. But it might change the way I saw him forever and THAT might make me leave him. Flowers

SixesAndEights · 11/07/2021 16:22

My honest opinion is, in order to retain your own self respect, end your marriage now and get on with the rest of your life without this arsehole. Look into how to improve your self esteen because staying with this loser isn't an option for anyone who has a healthy outlook about themselves and their worth.

Flowers
username18702 · 11/07/2021 16:24

OP he's horrendous. I think you're so used to his shitty behaviour that you don't see it. He's down the pub with some woman ever week. He's messing with your head and he's talking about you in a really demeaning manner.

What I would do in your situation is get some therapy to build up your confidence and get support. I would also find out about divorce or separation and take it from there. You can't stay with him OP, he despises you.

Woodswoman · 11/07/2021 16:25

How could you ever have sex with him again after seeing that?

YarnOver · 11/07/2021 16:26

Wow op how abysmal of him. I would not be staying with someone who is being that horrible and disrespectful to you, especially if it's also now rubbing off on your children -thats terrible. I'm so sorry you're in this position. It's absolutely not your fault.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/07/2021 16:29

Regardless of whether or not he is being unfaithful, that conversation is just a level of disloyalty I could not live with personally.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 11/07/2021 16:30

He doesn't love you - in fact, he doesn't even like you.

Riggins · 11/07/2021 16:38

I think I just needed some opinions cos I feel like I'm going mad. I run a team of men and it's gas cos they respect me but sometimes the way he speaks to me makes my stomach churn.

I'm on anxiety meds already - wouldn't mind but I do all the admin for his business as well as my own job. Sometimes he can be the nicest sweetest guy but when he's cruel he really knows to say the right thing to stick the knife in.

I don't think he does love me - just loves this house - and neither of us can afford to leave unfortunately. We have one loan finishing shortly and after that only the mortgage here but I need to hold fast on the loan cos I can't have a bad credit rating with work.

OP posts:
wedswench · 11/07/2021 16:39

Jesus. Why would you stay?

You mention money but it's always always do able. Anything but living like this.

It's not just what he says about you it's that he's fine for this woman to sag you off too. That's not love, no where near!

wedswench · 11/07/2021 16:40

Why would you get a bad credit rating? How old are the kids?

Kick him out. Sell the house, take your 60% equity and get something smaller. Live your life

Tulips15 · 11/07/2021 16:43

@ThisIsStartingToBoreMe

Regardless of whether or not he is being unfaithful, that conversation is just a level of disloyalty I could not live with personally.
This.

You deserve better

Riggins · 11/07/2021 16:55

Thanks folks. Without outing myself, I cant say too much but I can't leave, I support my elderly parents both financially and emotionally who are close by.

I am trapped here financially houses where I am (abroad) are extremely expensive to rent and I couldn't manage alone.

I just want a peaceful quiet life but yesterday when I heard about the lady with terminal cancer I was thinking to myself - is this it?

I did counselling before but didn't find it very good but I do need something. I have a good job, good colleagues and amazing kids and tbh that could be enough. The pub in question is all our local pub and I'm dreading the thoughts of anyone asking me to go in, even though I didn't do anything wrong. He has a way of making me feel that everythings my fault so I do agree my self esteem needs to be rebuilt somehow.

OP posts:
Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 11/07/2021 16:56

Jesus. What a conversation. He is absolutely vile OP. PP is spot on. He doesn't like you let alone love you. You deserve better than this ffs. Leave the cunt and take him for everything.

QueenBee52 · 11/07/2021 16:59

jesus...

reading this.. it would be OVER..

he would be out in his ARSE 🌸

QueenBee52 · 11/07/2021 16:59

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

Jesus. What a conversation. He is absolutely vile OP. PP is spot on. He doesn't like you let alone love you. You deserve better than this ffs. Leave the cunt and take him for everything.

this 🌸

Onehotmess · 11/07/2021 17:07

Why are you trying to afford somewhere?! Kick him out! He can stay with friends if he needs to. I don’t know how you can bear to look at him x

QueenBee52 · 11/07/2021 17:09

OP you are not being treated badly...

you are being treated APPALLINGLY ABYSMALLY SHOCKINGLY ... Im so sorry you cannot see this..

please kick him out 🌸

wedswench · 11/07/2021 17:17

@Riggins

Thanks folks. Without outing myself, I cant say too much but I can't leave, I support my elderly parents both financially and emotionally who are close by.

I am trapped here financially houses where I am (abroad) are extremely expensive to rent and I couldn't manage alone.

I just want a peaceful quiet life but yesterday when I heard about the lady with terminal cancer I was thinking to myself - is this it?

I did counselling before but didn't find it very good but I do need something. I have a good job, good colleagues and amazing kids and tbh that could be enough. The pub in question is all our local pub and I'm dreading the thoughts of anyone asking me to go in, even though I didn't do anything wrong. He has a way of making me feel that everythings my fault so I do agree my self esteem needs to be rebuilt somehow.

No no of course you don't leave. He does! The prick. Like... yesterday!
DameFanny · 11/07/2021 17:56

Now you know what's going on, you don't need to leave - or kick him out - straightaway. Get your ducks in a row. Pay off that loan, don't agree to any more. Start squirreling money away, start looking around for ways to make escape work.

Know that you're not mad, you're not making it up, you're not seeing things that aren't there. You are being disrespected by your arse of an H, and you don't have to stand for it.

But keep your powder dry, for now. Once you've decided to find a way to leave, you'll start seeing options. Once you've stopped wasting thinking time on your H you'll have all that extra thinking power to find ways to get yourself free.

Also make sure you're keeping copies of his finances - if you're doing his admin you might as well make sure you don't get fucked over on separation. And that you get a percentage of his business that you've been contributing to

Maybe start finding ways to remind the kids to clear up after themselves too. I highly recommend losing your shit if they're used to you just taking everything that's thrown - it'll do you all some good

mbosnz · 11/07/2021 17:59

How bloody dare he. That wicked WICKED man. To speak about his wife, the mother of his children, like that. I don't care if you knock back a case of wine each night, nobody deserves to be so humiliated and disrespected by their so-called partner like that. And as for the nasty bitch on the other end. . . I just hope they both get their come-uppance, one way or another.