I'd love a good friend

[toadstool32]

I can't believe I'm saying this. How embarrassing. But I would love a really good friend. I've got a few people I could call acquaintances and get on with work colleagues but I would love nothing more than a true friend.

I'm 33, married with two kids. I had my first daughter at 22 and I think that was the crux. I lost my friends at the time as I was home with a baby whilst they were out all the time. I never fitted into the mum scene at the time because I was on average a decade younger than the rest and I was made to feel rather ostracised. I had my second daughter at 26.

I work full time. I genuinely think I'm a kind person and fun! I just rarely get the opportunity to show it as well, I don't have any friends. Birthdays are hard as year on year I have a special dinner with my family but I'd love a few friends to do something with. I've never been a bridesmaid but I'd love that! Small examples but you get the gist.

I've tried joining some hobbies to meet people and I'm involved with school mums but they're very clicky and my face doesn't fit.

God what a pity post!! For anyone who's read without thinking "sad cow", thank you!

I'm not a mum but I feel very similar. All my friends are from uni, and (barring one who is like a sister and very on my level), I love my friends but we've changed so much and if we met today I'm not sure we'd be friends.

What I've realised is I have friends but they aren't "my people". My hope, once the world is on a more even keel and I can more reliably go out and start hobbies, is to try and find people through volunteering and classes about things I really care about/enjoy. I hope I can find just one or two more "true friends".

It's not easy at our age, and I hope all of us on this thread can find what we're looking for when the circumstances are more conducive!

As @PearlFriday says, I definitely need to be braver and be more proactive! That dressmaking class sounds so fun!

I feel you, OP. When I got married I had no friends toask as bridesmaids and no one for a hen do. I tend to go to places and concerts alone if it isn't DH's cup of tea. I just don't seem to be able to make that next step. In my younger days I'd end up paying people to be a friend. Now I don't bother with anyone despite aching to have someone to call my best friend. I've never had one.

@TrueRefuge i think that whole mother or not issue that affects friendships will hopefully cease to be an issue after about 50. So many women my age thinking omg a bit of freedom might be around the corner!

What I've realised is I have friends but they aren't "my people". My hope, once the world is on a more even keel and I can more reliably go out and start hobbies, is to try and find people through volunteering and classes about things I really care about/enjoy. I hope I can find just one or two more "true friends".

I've realised this too truerefuge. I'm heading for 50 but with relatively young dc. I'm hoping I will meet a few more likeminded people with similar interests.

Yesterday, i signed myself up for a two hour pottery workshop thing in Dublin. If i like it Ill do a longer one. Im going on my own and i dont have any expectation of making friends but im looking forward to enjoying the two hours. Before the pandemic hit, id signed up for a dressmaking night class, we had had 3 classes, then we got a refund. But they were all over forty and they all looked like they'd be open to my friendliness!! 😬
So when this is all over i want to sign up for that dress making class again. It was the first time in ages id joined in anything and thought, some of these women are older than i am! So, top tip 😆 dress making class! I would genuinely like to learn too.

I think this is a great way to approach things too. I guess some of it is sheer luck as to who else is on the course etc. but it is a win win situation anyway because you are trying something you might enjoy.

If anyone is interested in a Yorkshire WhatsApps group send me a PM 😊

I'm in Surrey!

@toadstool32

I'm in Surrey!

Me too! Feel free to message me!

I'm in Surrey

@Inthesameboatatmo

I'm in Surrey

👋 where abouts?

@PearlFriday I'm in Dublin as well

I'm near Kingston what about you?

I'm in Staines

@Charlotte 0284.
I'm in chertsey

I feel the same. I have one friend in this area but would love to meet others. I am 60 though. In Edinburgh. Moved back 2 years ago.

@Charlotte 0284.
I was only shopping there the other day

I think a lot of people feel like this. There is a bit of a window of opportunity for making close friends and once you get older it gets harder and harder, especially during a pandemic. I think my issue is that I'm not a sharer. I'm a good listener but struggle to be open unless I know people really well, which I think keeps a lot of potential friends in the acquaintance zone. I'm in North London.

@toadstool32.
Still not that far from me

I am a bit older than lots of you at 54 and still feel like this. My one close friend died in Feb and there just isn’t anyone else.

Am in Warwickshire if anyone is around here

@Umberellatheweatha I'm in Scotland too... Feel the same, all my real life friends are in in the OPs area 🙄 and I can't afford to move back.

@inthesameboatatmo not that far away!

@Charlotte0284.
No not far at all

@inthesameboatatmo and @toadstool32 feel free to drop me a line if youd like to chat and meet up for coffee/drinks sometime

Me too. Would really like to make some new friends if anyone is in the north west?

Makemedoit
I'm your age and in Staffordshire. Not a million miles away!