Relationship issue

[Edifier]

Hi there hope everyone is well.

I need help well just stuck in a situation I don't have answers to. I'm in a long term relationship have 1 kid. I have a stable job everything is going well. We treat each other well no fighting just a normal relationship.

My partner has a friend who I get on well with she has kids. For past year my feelings towards her have been getting stronger and can't get her out of my head. I get butterflies in my tummy thinking about what we can do in a relationship etc. I don't know if she feels the same. When we are in a room together we always look at each other she smiles and I smile. I don't know if I should contact her we do text now and again. I do have feelings for her. I hope someone can help me.

My husband had a limerant affair, it devastated my children and I. The pain we went through is indescribable, it tore me apart. It was a trauma and I still struggle with PTSD (very common).

We were stable, happy, treated each other well, loved each other, honestly no one saw this happen for us, no one.

He has had to crawl out of the darkest hole he’s ever fallen into as he works out why the hell he did that. The guilt he feels tears him apart.

He now realises this was a problem with him, not our marriage. Certainly not ‘love’ for the affair partner who he shudders when he thinks of. He has worked hard on fixing him, filling the gaping hole.

My husband is lucky, I was able to accept this happened to us and we have worked together tirelessly to fix it. He would caution every man feeling like you to walk the hell away and not fall down this trap!

Talk to your partner, seek individual counselling, this isn’t about this woman it’s all about the problem you have.

I’m going to add, I think this is all very human and that’s why my husband and I are still together but I do wish more people understood that love is an action not a feeling. It might prevent more devastated families.

Please do the right thing by your partner and child.