How to tell your husband that he is terrible in bed?

[changesoul]

My husband is terrible in bed how do I deal with that ? He does not even know how to kiss properly. It's been like this since we got marriage it was arrange marriage so we never dated before marriage. When we got marriage after 2-3 years I did try to tell him couple of times but he told me we should not talk about sex & he just exit which is not normal according to me.

He is good man with good heart. He cares for me a lot. He is controlling but manageable what should I do ? Is being bad in sex good reason for divorce or shall I be okey.

We don't have kids yet don't know really what to do if anyone can shade some light. I'm making mistake thinking of leaving him? Or I should not consider this as huge things and just not think about it ?

Religious leaders would be no good they’re all about marriage is for having children, not your pleasure.

dealbreaker if he wont improve in the bedroom

He needs to shape up or ship him off, lifes too short for poor quality sex in a marriage.

Op Do u live in U.K or India?
If your DH has low sex drive request him to consult a Doctor.
If that’s your concern. If he doesn’t initiate did you try initiating or did you try foreplay and was it rejected? In any case better consult a Dr for advice.

You need to ask yourself do u love him or not…? If not answer is simple and you need to answer it yourself. You can’t live with a person just because he earns good.

Mine is arranged marriage and we had our share of misunderstandings but we love each other more and worked towards it.

Any finally if you like in India you are asking a wrong forum for opinion.
Mindset and culture is very different from India and U.K esp. in Mumsnet, where posters quickly advise others to DIVORCE.

@Bekindbepositive

Op Do u live in U.K or India? If your DH has low sex drive request him to consult a Doctor. If that’s your concern. If he doesn’t initiate did you try initiating or did you try foreplay and was it rejected? In any case better consult a Dr for advice.

You need to ask yourself do u love him or not…? If not answer is simple and you need to answer it yourself. You can’t live with a person just because he earns good.

Mine is arranged marriage and we had our share of misunderstandings but we love each other more and worked towards it.

Any finally if you like in India you are asking a wrong forum for opinion.
Mindset and culture is very different from India and U.K esp. in Mumsnet, where posters quickly advise others to DIVORCE.

I know what u mean... I live in Scotland and I'm from India .. I will try other options out and will try to talk again with him let's see what happens .. 🤞 I'm just tired of him not acknowledging the problem at 1st he will say yes but then it's just words with no action ...

@WildfirePonie

Are you allowed to divorce from an arranged marriage?

Thats a good question actually normally yes my former work friend however was not allowed a divorce without her fathers and her husbands permission her father required her to remain for at least 18 months to not embarrass him

Are you trying to conceive? If you/ he are in that pressure it may affect his ability, added to his work pressure.
Communicate your feelings,he should understand and work towards it if he wants a healthy relationship.And consult professional help if necessary.
Good luck

@Bekindbepositive

Are you trying to conceive? If you/ he are in that pressure it may affect his ability, added to his work pressure. Communicate your feelings,he should understand and work towards it if he wants a healthy relationship.And consult professional help if necessary. Good luck

Nothing like that he has been bad since start ...

I'm in a similar culture. For a woman to say you were divorcing because of bad sex would be tough. Very tough. People would be wondering if he is gay, and a woman's sex drive is not something that you openly discuss.

Would he read a book on the subject - perhaps one that is written from your cultures perspective? For example there is book called Intended for pleasure that is written for Christians who may not have a lot of experience in the sex department. I wonder if there is something equivalent - very open and medically detailed but sensitive to your culture.

Do you think your husband is asexual and has entered an arranged marriage to be accepted in society as marriage is seen as the norm ?