Pregnant. How to tell him?

[Shiftima]

Been dating for a while now. I’m 40 and he’s younger than me with all these plans for his future. Wants kids but not yet. We aren’t officially a couple because of this. He’s never met my kids and he doesn’t really want to. Which is ok with me.
Just found out I’m pregnant. I’m in the pill so a bit of a shock.
I’m probably going to go ahead with the pregnancy and when I finally get the guts to tell him, I’m likely to give him the option of allowing him to walk away if that’s what he wants.
How do I go about this? He’s such a lovely man. This will be a massive shock for him. But I don’t want him to feel obliged to stick around although it would be great if he did. Does that make sense?

@Shiftima It is happening to a few people I know, they had no illness like sickness or diarrhoea that may have caused the pill not to work.

Have you been ill prior to falling pregnant?

@SortingItOut not that I can remember. That’s so scary!

“Birth control pills and other contraceptives
Vaccines have no effect on the efficacy of birth control pills or any other contraceptives. Conversely, the pill or other contraceptives do not affect how well the vaccine works.”
www.rivm.nl/en/covid-19-vaccination/vaccines/pregnancy

Hope it goes OK for you. Stay strong.

@Shiftima

how are you ? is everything okay 🌸

Seriously? Most couples rely on one or the other for contraception. Are you seriously trying to say if you don’t want a kid a man always needs to wear a condom? Seriously?

Well, when dh and I really, really didn't want kids, we used two forms of contraception - hormonal and barrier. When we would have preferred not to have children (but would have coped if necessary), we used one form of contraception. Both forms of contraception were free from GP and local family planning clinic.

I'm surprised other people think this is a radical idea.

If a man is definite he doesnt want DC right now then yes obviously he needs to wear a condom!

Why would anyone put their reproduction in the hands of a third party?!

If op is on the mini pill (as I am due to being in my 40's) then it is only properly effective when taken within a 2 hour window each day. If I miss that window (has only happened once or twice in years) then I don't have sex for the next week or use another form of contraception.

I wonder how many women don't though? Which is why, if I were a man, I would not be leaving my family planning to someone else, same as if it were men who took the pill I wouldn't be leaving it to them either.

you could actually be surprised and he might be excited that he is going to be a dad, not all men are a55holes as the women on here like to imply

Give the guy a choice before condemning him before he even knows about it seriously.

Have you told him yet? He deserves to know. Do you take your pill at the same time everyday in order for it to be more effective and reliable? That’s such a huge age gap. I’m 25 and you’re only a few years younger than my parents.