I’ve been seeing someone for about four months. He’s lovely. We get on brilliantly when we’re together. Sex is great. We have lots of shared interests and have a lot of fun together. We’ve met some of each other’s friends and family (but not many because of covid) and got on well.
We’re both late thirties. I’ve been married before and have 2DC. He’s had a few 1-2 year relationships, but mostly been single. This is where I think the problems stem from. I am constantly busy, always trying to juggle 12 things at once, usually flying by the seat of my pants in terms of childcare/work/logistics. He works (hard) 9-5 and then has no other commitments. He’s much more ‘mindful’ than me. If he sits down to watch a film, he concentrates on the film, whereas if I’m watching tv alone, I might also be texting friends/ironing/catching up on admin. To be clear, if I’m with him, I concentrate on what we’re doing.
Because of childcare arrangements with exDH, I tend to see OH 2-3 consecutive nights a week, but not in between. We share texts during the week, but if I suggest talking in the evening he is ‘watching a film’ or ‘listening to an audiobook’ or ‘having an early night’, etc. Part of me admires his ability to focus on one thing at a time, but part of me feels quite rejected. ExDH cheated constantly and, while I don’t think OH is lying about what he’s doing, it just feels ‘off’ somehow. Like his priorities are out? Or is it me? Am I being needy?
I’m finding it hard to process what is bothering me, but it definitely is (bothering me) so I’d appreciate any thoughts /experiences.
Thank you!