Porn

[mumhugs]

I would like to see what other people think about the situation with porn and relationships. My question is do you think that men watching porn is acceptable in a relationship? My partner watches it (he doesn't know I know this) when I have questioned him about it he says that he doesn't watch porn but looks at pictures of nude women on his phone. When I asked him why he said that it's something to do when he is bored and he doesn't get to see my naked as I don't like to get dressed in front of him as I feel embarrassed about my body. This also makes me feel worse as the women he looks at are all young and slim. It makes me resent him! I personally think porn is not acceptable in a relationship but each to their own!

Porns are lovely in a Marie Rose sauce.

I enjoy watching porn on my own or with a partner. I also enjoy making it.

I don't expect partners to comment on how I masturbate. If a bloke told me I couldn't wank to porn, I'd tell him not to let the door hit him in the arse on his way out.

I personally think porn is not acceptable in a relationship but each to their own!

You've answered your own question here. It's up to you and your partner.

I think watching porn whilst in a relationship is absolutely acceptable and fine. Women and men.

I actually think it's unreasonable to dictate how a partner masturbates in their own time. Everyone masturbates, and to expect to have a say in how or what your partner does with their own body in their own time in my eyes is pretty controlling. I watch porn, I masturbate, my husband wanks and watches porn. Its normal. Ethical porn however is obviously preferable. But that's a whole other topic.

I don't think it's normal to masterbate whilst you are in a relationship but everyone has different views. It's hurtful if your partner is getting off on watching other women!

Oh wtf is it with porn apologists on here
Porn destroyed my marriage. I hate it. Not all men watch it and you are totally fine and normal to be bothered by it.

I do agree you can't expect to control what your partner does but you can decide what is a deal breaker for you

It's totally unacceptable to me. A complete deal breaker.

@DramaAlpaca do you mind me asking why?

@mumhugs

I don't think it's normal to masterbate whilst you are in a relationship but everyone has different views. It's hurtful if your partner is getting off on watching other women!

Wooooooooow. It is VERY VERY normal to masturbate whilst your in a relationship. I work in a sex shop. I can promise you its normal. Sex and masturbation are very different, and masturbation is a form of self care for many many people.

@QuentinBunbury

Oh wtf is it with porn apologists on here Porn destroyed my marriage. I hate it. Not all men watch it and you are totally fine and normal to be bothered by it.

I do agree you can't expect to control what your partner does but you can decide what is a deal breaker for you

I am sorry to hear that! Porn can obviously be an issue if it starts to effect your sex life and your marriage of course! But there is such a thing as healthy porn usage.

I agree about the control issue. I don't want or intend to control him. It just bothers me but if I say anything he will know that I know about him watching it!

@mumhugs because I think it's disrespectful in a relationship. Fortunately my DH of many years feels the same.

Imho porn has no place in a committed relationship.

@mumhugs

I agree about the control issue. I don't want or intend to control him. It just bothers me but if I say anything he will know that I know about him watching it!

Oh yeah I can totally get that, also I'm so sorry to read you don't feel comfortable in your body! It's difficult feeling that way! There's lots of amazing body positive Instagram accounts that have really helped me with body image! Sofie Hagen has an amazing sketch on Netflix about sex and body image. I'd recommend. I hope you can find so resolution to all of this xx

@Josiemac93 why would anyone want to look at other people if you were happy and committed in a relationship? Maybe it's because he doesn't like the way I look so he has to look elsewhere?

Porn's not acceptable full stop, regardless of relationship status. It's damaging in so many different ways and totally incompatible with a society that sees women as people and not as things.

Sounds like your partner is ok with that which leaves you with a decision to make as to whether it's a deal breaker for you or not. It sounds like it's already undermining your self confidence and your trust in your partner.

Porn is a total no for me OP, absolute deal-breaker. I find it totally degrading to women; as well as entirely disrespectful to one's partner to get off on looking at other women nude/having sex.

@mumhugs okay, so I am in a very committed and happy marriage. We have been together for 11 years, since we were teenagers. We have sex often, and good sex. But I I masturabte often, sometimes I watch porn, sometimes I don't. Same goes for him. It's not because I want to be with other men or women. It's simply because it turns me on and makes masturbation better. I don't masturbate because I'm unhappy in my sex life, or because I don't find my husband attractive. I do it because it's fun and it feels good. Does that help? Xx

It's between the couple.

What he said to you was so awful. You've driven me to it you've only got yourself to blame!

Is he shit to you about other stuff?

Porn on the whole I think is awful for various reasons.

But this is more about your OH saying such a horrible thing.

OP he was totally out of line.

(And no one looks at photos of naked women on their phones surely! He's lying obv).

[quote mumhugs]@Josiemac93 why would anyone want to look at other people if you were happy and committed in a relationship? Maybe it's because he doesn't like the way I look so he has to look elsewhere? [/quote]
Seriously?

Most people stop noticing attractive people when they are happily coupled up.

Why do you think that?!

DON'T stop oops!

@NiceGerbil

It's between the couple.

What he said to you was so awful. You've driven me to it you've only got yourself to blame!

Is he shit to you about other stuff?

Yes sorry I agree with this. What he said to you was shitty. You deserve to feel happy and comfortable and made to feel beautiful! Everyone does!

@NiceGerbil he wasn't being nasty about it to be fair to him. I brought it up when I asked him why he does it and he said he looks at the pictures when he is bored, he also says that he never sees me naked (he's not wrong). He still wants to have sex with me, but honestly I feel offended that he has looked at the photos as obviously I'm feeling shitty about myself and him looking at them (and porn) makes me feel even worse. He has said that he doesn't have a problem with porn (of course he doesn't) and that if he knew that I was looking at it then he wouldn't be bothered!