Boyfriend watches porn and just doesn’t seem interested in my body.

[Anotherporn1]

I’ve been with him about 9 months.

He says he needs to masterbate every night to relax and sleep and watches porn to do this. I do not like porn.

I went to see him last night and he played with me (basically because I asked) so I thought I’d return the favour. He wasn’t really very hard so I said to him your not really into this are you. I said it’s probably because you play with yourself so much. He said yeah I played with myself last night to a video of lesbians. He started to tell me about it and I said well the mood is spoilt now you can find a video and finish yourself off as it’s spoilt the mood for me.

When I see him he doesn’t seem to wanna touch me or turn himself on, is this me or does he watch to much porn, he watches every night if I don’t go over. It’s really started to effect the way I think.

Cut this clown free

@Shellady
I’m my 50’s 😗😳

Nine months in?! You would be out of your mind to stay with him - it'll increasingly destroy your confidence. Please get out now.

@JustAnotherOldMan

As an older man I really can’t get my head around some of the things I read on this forum, why some younger men seem to prefer porn to having sex with an actual living breathing woman is beyond me, especially when the woman actually seems to want to have sex, it’s not all these guys are single, It’s beyond me.

@JustAnotherOldMan I haven't quite made my mind up yet if these men will one day look back and think 'Meh - I'm not bothered. I prefer my porn anyway', or if they'll look back and absolutely kick themselves for not realising that once, they were young and were able to touch and have sex with young women but didn't do it because they were so hypnotised with their screens.

@EarthSight not sure. I'm 29,but my STBXH prefers masturbating to 18 year olds than to have sex with me. I can see him keeping that up (no pun intended) until retirement. Then he may switch to 20 year olds.

@EarthSight no idea, but I assume at some point they will get fed up of pulling on their pud and want to try it out in real life 🤷🏼‍♂️, but what do I know. As an old fart, internet porn has kinda passed me by, but I’m quite thankful that as a young man I managed to have sex with young women, which seemed like a pretty good experience at the time.

I’m also pretty pleased that as an old fart, I managed to have sex with an older lady last week, it might take me all night to do what I used too do all night (sorry, I had to pinch that line ), but experience has shown me that real life is better…

He is a lost cause. 9 months in and you've got a dead bedroom and the death grip? No way.

What is the 'Death grip'?

Just tell him you don't think he wants a relationship but wants to be left alone to wank instead so you'll leave him to it and happy wanking

He's selfish and nasty.
You really don't want to be attractive to someone like that.

Dump time for him.

That's excessive. A few more years of that and he will have a floppy cock and be unable to cum.

No.

OP, I hope you are reading and believing the previous posts on this thread.

Your boyfriend isn't normal. His behaviour isn't healthy.

Every moment you spend with him is another moment wasted. You need to be with a man who knows how to have an actual sexual relationship with a woman.

[quote JustAnotherOldMan]@EarthSight no idea, but I assume at some point they will get fed up of pulling on their pud and want to try it out in real life 🤷🏼‍♂️, but what do I know. As an old fart, internet porn has kinda passed me by, but I’m quite thankful that as a young man I managed to have sex with young women, which seemed like a pretty good experience at the time.

I’m also pretty pleased that as an old fart, I managed to have sex with an older lady last week, it might take me all night to do what I used too do all night (sorry, I had to pinch that line ), but experience has shown me that real life is better…[/quote]
Probably better not categorising women into ‘young women’ and ‘ old women ‘
This is exactly what porn does and is a huge part of the issue in many men’s mentality . They think women are worth their youth and appearance .
I get that you were talking about having sex with someone older now but first post referred to how they might realise how lucky they were to be able to have sex with YOUNG women . Then you go on in this post to say you got to have sex with an older woman , but hey , you’re still ‘pretty pleased ‘
Stop playing women off against their ages and implying that women’s worth, sexual or otherwise is based on their age
How about just referring to women as ‘women’

@Shellady I'm not sure who you are referring to here. I'm not categorising women. I'm merely talking about the world as it actually is, rather than talking about it according to how I wish it was, or avoiding talking about certain things because they might offend my own feelings. Most men, or a large amount of them show a clear preference for young women, and there's plenty of evidence to support that. My point was those men might look back at their youthful years and wish they had ignored their partner at the time.

@Anotherporn1 he's not wanking over them he's obsessed & stuck in a habit of fantasy.

When a habit like his starts to affect his real life: you & he doesn't care, then you must leave.
It isn't a you issue, it's him.
This will not get better and it will be a problem for anyone who dates him

[quote EarthSight]@Shellady I'm not sure who you are referring to here. I'm not categorising women. I'm merely talking about the world as it actually is, rather than talking about it according to how I wish it was, or avoiding talking about certain things because they might offend my own feelings. Most men, or a large amount of them show a clear preference for young women, and there's plenty of evidence to support that. My point was those men might look back at their youthful years and wish they had ignored their partner at the time.[/quote]
Most men prefer younger women and I’m just stating it ‘?
Actually there’s a lot more to that statement that just espousing it . Why don’t you consider the cultural and social reason why this situation has become reinforced and stop reinforcing it
Many men also liked to treat their wives as possessions like chattel at one point in history , most people liked to keep slaves in, most people also liked to watched public beheadings
We don’t just say oh that’s just how it is and reinforce it .
If YOU personally prefer younger women speak for yourself but don’t get up and tell everyone that’s just how the world is

@EarthSight
The point is that most of many men apparently like to see women demeaning and dehumanised by being categorised like meat , by body type, nationality or age and theres plenty of evidence of that , in PORN and your post is doing exactly that
You need some education in treating women with respect a d learn that the language you use says a lot about what you think

Bin him this won’t get any easier.

Sounds like a wanker

You can do so much better. Let him have his relationship with his videos while you enjoy real life

@Shellady I think you're getting a bit confused.

@JustAnotherOldMan and I are two separate people, with separate posts. He quoted my post in his, as he wanted to show he was referring to it and he wanted to add something.

Why don’t you consider the cultural and social reason why this situation has become reinforced and stop reinforcing it

Are you for real? In addressing any issue, one must be able to talk about. Not talking about it won't make it go away. Most sexual perpetrators are men - am I reinforcing that as well by talking about it, by talking about facts??

If YOU personally prefer younger women speak for yourself but don’t get up and tell everyone that’s just how the world is

Now I know you've confused me with someone else.

I'm a woman. Not a lesbian either so no plans to sleep with women.

Don't school me in women's rights.

[quote EarthSight]@Shellady I think you're getting a bit confused.

@JustAnotherOldMan and I are two separate people, with separate posts. He quoted my post in his, as he wanted to show he was referring to it and he wanted to add something.

Why don’t you consider the cultural and social reason why this situation has become reinforced and stop reinforcing it

Are you for real? In addressing any issue, one must be able to talk about. Not talking about it won't make it go away. Most sexual perpetrators are men - am I reinforcing that as well by talking about it, by talking about facts??

If YOU personally prefer younger women speak for yourself but don’t get up and tell everyone that’s just how the world is

Now I know you've confused me with someone else.

I'm a woman. Not a lesbian either so no plans to sleep with women.

Don't school me in women's rights.[/quote]
No I realise that there are two separate people you and another old man
Whether you are a woman or a man you still reinforce a preference for younger or think younger is somehow better in your posts
You tell me not to school you on women’s rights . I obviously can’t school you . I doubt your interested in being educated in such as you espouse nonsense like ‘men just prefer younger women and I’m just saying it how it is ‘
How about challenging that status qui ( and yes I agree it’s become a status quo ) that has resulted from thousands of years of women being valued for their youth and fertility then tossed aside
You could start by not agreeing with men that oh yes they might regret not sleeping with those ‘ younger women ‘ and just respect your sisters and call them women
That’s all I’m saying . Why don’t you give it a little thought at least ?
I’ll leave it at that . If you are unable to take on board that very simply thing about why your being part of the mysogyny than actually being discussed on this thread by playing into that then I don’t honestly think there more I can say .

I'm afraid you really need to just throw away the entire man.

Dump dump dump dump dump

Yuk.

Yes dump him and find someone who is in to you and not porn because he will not change