Boyfriend watches porn and just doesn’t seem interested in my body.

[Anotherporn1]

I’ve been with him about 9 months.

He says he needs to masterbate every night to relax and sleep and watches porn to do this. I do not like porn.

I went to see him last night and he played with me (basically because I asked) so I thought I’d return the favour. He wasn’t really very hard so I said to him your not really into this are you. I said it’s probably because you play with yourself so much. He said yeah I played with myself last night to a video of lesbians. He started to tell me about it and I said well the mood is spoilt now you can find a video and finish yourself off as it’s spoilt the mood for me.

When I see him he doesn’t seem to wanna touch me or turn himself on, is this me or does he watch to much porn, he watches every night if I don’t go over. It’s really started to effect the way I think.

*you

Ah love, this has nothing to do with you and nothing you can do will change him. He is a lost cause. 9 months in and you've got a dead bedroom and the death grip? No way. Nope. Nope. Nope. Here's your one-way ticket to Fuckthatville. Get out now!

When I say I feel unattractive I feel unattractive to him, like my body does not turn him on as I don’t look like a porn star. I don’t want to feel this even if it is not the intention.

He's not going to be attracted to anything that isn't on a screen probably involving 2 women - which by the way in real life he'd have no clue what to do in the situation and likely couldn't get it up. This is not a reflection on you in any way and I hope you know and believe that.

It's devastating that this issue happens to so many couples. Yet, men seem unperturbed and always prioritise the needs of their genitals over their partners. Enough said

Urgh, have some self respect & dump his sorry ass

Such men more often than not have huge problems relating to and with intimacy. I would concur this is absolutely no reflection on you as a person.

Move on and leave him. That is your best option here.

Some men are addicted to porn and it becomes the only way for them to get off. It's a massive problem actually. Definitely leave him - you deserve much better.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

Porn is having a catastrophic effect on people’s sex lives. I know it’s not the “cool” thing to say but I truly believe it. It’s having horrific implications on what (mainly) young males expect from their partners. Horrific implications on their treatment of their partners. Horrific effect on their physical ability to get aroused.

Move on and find someone who isn’t falling down this rabbit hole.

This is very true. My experience of younger men is that they expect all women to be able to feel throat.

You should be having lots of fun together, dump him and find someone who fancies the pants off you. There are loads of men out there, don't settle for this wanker.

agree with everyone else, his behaviour is not normal. At 9 months he should be all over you like a rash. Its sad what porn does to people's brains, but yes you need to get out, this guy is not worthy of your time or energy.

Just ewugh. Bin him off and find someone who loves your body

Get rid. He won’t change.

Do you need someone in your life with no respect for you and who is destroying your self esteem?

How doesn't his attitude make you want to spew your guts up, why the he'll would you want to breathe the same air as him? Nevermind wanting him to touch you! Ew ew ew

Dump him
You’re only 9 months in, should still be the honeymoon period where you want each other all the time, not hoping for crumbs from his porn table

I's just say: 'I've enjoyed your company the last 9 months but it is not working for me anymore.You have issues relating to porn addiction and need to work through that before dating because it's a real problem. You might not see this yet but I do and im not comfortable with it, so I have to call things a day'.

He's porn sick. What he's doing now is practically the definition of it, although it can get worse than that.

He would rather a screen than a real life woman. What was his main motivation in wanting a girlfriend? Companionships? I can't imagine it was having a healthy sex life. He might be quite content to do without that, to do without connecting to another person in a loving way. Maybe he's never actually experienced it.

If he isn't motivated to change this situation, there's nothing you can do. There's more to life than that. If you feel this bad now, and it's only 9 months in, I can't imagine what you'll feel like in a few years.

@TheVanguardSix

Ah love, this has nothing to do with you and nothing you can do will change him. He is a lost cause. 9 months in and you've got a dead bedroom and the death grip? No way. Nope. Nope. Nope. Here's your one-way ticket to Fuckthatville. Get out now!

@TheVanguardSix Lol XD

Leave him, take it from someone who experienced this long term, it will ruin you.

As an older man I really can’t get my head around some of the things I read on this forum, why some younger men seem to prefer porn to having sex with an actual living breathing woman is beyond me, especially when the woman actually seems to want to have sex, it’s not all these guys are single,
It’s beyond me.

Well this isn’t going to get any better is it?

Get rid. This us not what a healthy relationship looks like, especially 9 months in when you should be shagging all the time! He's disgusting and you deserve better than someone who gets off watching women being degraded.

Please don't try to persevere here. He has messed himself up good and proper. You've only invested 9 months. Don't let it become longer. I would just let him know that after last night, you don't see a future.

@JustAnotherOldMan

As an older man I really can’t get my head around some of the things I read on this forum, why some younger men seem to prefer porn to having sex with an actual living breathing woman is beyond me, especially when the woman actually seems to want to have sex, it’s not all these guys are single, It’s beyond me.

Unfortunately it’s far from just ‘some younger men ‘ who are porn sick like this . I’ve met a couple myself and have a good friend who’s who have married to one . Also know several ladies my age , 50s who’s dated guys around our age with the same issue Porn today is a huge issue for many many men of all ages

OP you deserve so much better than this . Don’t let yourself end up feeling destroyed by this loser