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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bumping into mates

37 replies

Rainsleetsnowhere · 28/06/2021 11:19

Looking for views please on if this is suspicious or if I've suddenly turned paranoid. I've never been a particularly suspicious person before. Been married ages. A couple of years ago, DH started mentioning he kept bumping into his old schoolmate and his mate's wife out and about. I'd never seen them when with DH I didn't know what they looked like so could have passed them in the street and not known them. Apparently these people had lived near to us for years yet DH had never mentioned them before.

Whenever he had first mentioned them he would refer to them as 'Tony (name changed) and his wife'. This later changed to 'Tony and Tania' (name changed).
The whole thing felt a bit odd to me, but couldn't really say why.
I asked a couple of things about them, one of which was where they lived. DH said 'over there somewhere' indicating the rough area but he said he didn't know which house exactly.
I did eventually get to see them as bumped into them when with DH. Although DH seemed a little over-excited/nervous energy on approaching, I spoke to the woman a little and she seemed perfectly nice and normal. DH's mate also seemed normal although didn't really say anything to me.
The next time we bumped into them I though Tania seemed a bit different - less confident maybe - but what struck me was that she giggled like a schoolgirl at something DH said during our conversation. What he had said was mildly amusing at best, and her giggling seemed over-egged and almost nervous. Tony just seemed normal.
Recently, during a conversation about something unrelated, DH made reference to 'Tania's house'.
This sudden identification of their exact house, and the fact that he no longer refers to his mate and his wife, but just to her. It felt odd. Am I being Covid-paranoid?!

OP posts:
messybun101 · 29/06/2021 10:54

Trust your gut op. There's something not quite right here...

I'm asking myself why would he suddenly know which house they live in, or, was he lying before about not knowing where they lived. It has to be one or the other.

Are you going to ask/challenge him?
I really doubt he's even picked up on his mistake above. You'll be in a good chance of catching him in a lie with this example

Rainsleetsnowhere · 29/06/2021 12:46

[quote Hppymum123]@ILoveShula she didn’t say she was given a lift though, she said she was waiting to pull on the drive so I’d assume she was driving and no, I haven’t driven a random company car, I’ve either had a company car or my own car, never randomly car hopped 🤣, plus was meant lightheartedly anyway[/quote]
I didn't say I was waiting to pull on the drive.

OP posts:
Hppymum123 · 29/06/2021 17:03

@ILoveShula wow very pedantic. Parked up behind waiting to get in the house…
Well in that case wtf were you waiting for ? 🤣

ILoveShula · 29/06/2021 17:31

@Hppymum123, whether or not it is your intention, the tone of your posts and use od emoticons are belittling.

ILoveShula · 29/06/2021 17:31

of not od

HalzTangz · 29/06/2021 17:58

@Hppymum123

What’s concerning is, why weren’t you in your usual car 😩🤣 who has random cars they can drive that their DP wouldn’t know about
People who drive pool cars, each time I travel for work I get given a different car. Not that unusual
Lachimolala · 29/06/2021 17:59

I’d be having a look through phones and laptops tonight. Sounds very suspicious!

Hppymum123 · 29/06/2021 18:21

@HalzTangz I’ve literally never heard of this, I don’t know a single person who does that. But as I have said, I literally meant it lightheartedly.

KirstenBlest · 29/06/2021 18:33

You literally sound ignorant when you literally use literally all the time.

Hppymum123 · 29/06/2021 19:59

@KirstenBlest haha bad day hun ?

SummerWhisper · 29/06/2021 20:10

Tania is prevalent in his mind over Tony. She is the reference point, not his old friend. I wouldn't challenge yet, but ask occasional innocent questions and don't feel bad if you check his phone / messenger etc. He has put you here.

KirstenBlest · 29/06/2021 20:12

Grow up @Hppymum123

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