It's been like this for so long, I've tried talking to him, getting him to engage and it's all ignored.
My DH seems to be emotionally extremely lazy.
For example he never ever organises things with friends, unless I tell him too. An example a friend who lives close by was diagnosed with a serious life limiting illness, he's become disabled and has had to give up work. My DH work pattern means that he could go and visit easily during the day whilst the friend is home alone. He'd not organised anything (never ever does), I told him how I thought he should go and spend sometime with his friend. Just the two of them. He did it, both enjoyed, his friend said how great to have a visitor during the day, would love to do it again. DH never done it since (not due to Covid, it was before then). The friend can't drive now, so he's restricted with buses etc. His DW drives but works FT.
He never makes contact with friends, few now bother with him. I'm the one that people contact about meet ups, so my friends tend to be our friends now.
We have two DC, they are adult, I swear if I didn't arrange meet ups/invites etc he just would not bother. He only rings to talk to them if I tell him, he'll do it once and that's it! Consequently, any time they contact us, they contact me. Which is fine, but very sad.
DS is going through an extremely difficult patch, really bad, no job, relationship breakdown. I contact him everyday to make sure he's ok, have a chat etc.
DH has not contacted him once. I really think DS could do with hearing from his dad but no, as I've not told him to call he won't think of it.
I've got to the point where I'm emotionally drained as all through our relationship I've taken the caring and emotional role. I don't even tell him now about DS, my sister asked in front of DH how our son was and I was telling her. It of course as news also to DH as I'd not discussed my latest contact. He then says "you never said". No I didn't, you never ask, you never call him, you never listen to DS. If you're genuinely interested, show it!
He never organises anything (aside from we will have a row and I'll say I do all organising, entertainment, thinking about life stuff). He will then organise one thing and then it stops again.
I'm so worried about DS, I'm not sleeping, I'm stressed, I need some emotional support as does DS. He's had an awful time this week and DH has not contacted him once.
If DH would just arrange to meet DS, maybe have a drink and a chat and give him some time. He will gladly come along when I organise a meet, but never takes the lead.
I'm sick of him hiding behind me, he's so emotionally lazy, gets up goes to work, comes home and does the practical stuff but never the emotional stuff.
I feel DS and me are totally unsupported by DH, he just lives his life in his bubble.
I'm brewing to say something again, but it only works for the short term, so what's the point.
I feel so strongly about this, I'm considering a split, just to give me some time to think about what he's offering emotionally in our marriage.