Could you live a life with no laughter in your marriage??

[HelpWendy]

As the title says really.

If there are other pluses is that enough or would it be unbearable eventually?

It would be unbearable after a couple of days, I think. DP and I laugh together a lot, there's no way I could live (and be happy) without that.

Is there no laughing at all?

Tv comedy does nothing for me at all but we can laugh at others things or things my dh says to me.

No I am sorry but I couldn't. Are you ok OP ?

No - I would give up so much before giving up the ability to laugh together.

No, I couldn't. Its a central part of our relationship and I couldn't imagine one without it. Are you ok op?

Laughing is the best part of my relationship. Laughing at and talking and just knowing we are 'in sync'

I did. He's now my xh.

I'm okay thanks. I've posted here before about a general lack of understanding and connection with my husband. I feel like Bridget Jones in that scene where she complains about her boyfriend. But then my gut just knows it's wrong but I'm scared. He is good, kind and obliging, but laughing with me or prioritizing joy we me is just not important to him.

I am finding it difficult to be confident about my gut feeling.

We were chatting in the car this evening and managed to come to the conclusion that I could bare a lot but the prospect of a life with him without occasional laughter is what seems to be a deal breaker for me.

It makes me sad that our young 2 children never see us laugh, they just see us 'ploughing on' through life.

Did you ever laugh?

@OnlyToWin

No - I would give up so much before giving up the ability to laugh together.

This is how I feel. Not looking for a perfect life but surely it's crucial.

Oh totally. DH are rude to each other constantly but that’s our humour and lots of ‘in’ jokes.
I always think of my PIL who just existed and had no fun together, I never saw them laugh together. DH just didn’t notice though and thought they had a brilliant marriage.

@OnlyToWin

Did you ever laugh?

Before marriage yes, but when I look back, hindsight is a great thing, I probably instigated all the laugh and he passively went along, I only see that now. I remember thinking v soon after we got married that this was a thing but perhaps blamed myself.

@FakeColinCaterpillar

Oh totally. DH are rude to each other constantly but that’s our humour and lots of ‘in’ jokes. I always think of my PIL who just existed and had no fun together, I never saw them laugh together. DH just didn’t notice though and thought they had a brilliant marriage.

Yeah I know this was the same for my husband parents and their marriage, so he never saw it.

Am a bit miserable about it and that's what makes me wonder maybe I'm just miserable, but I light up with others.

This is one of the saddest thing I have read on MN - laughing is important , that shared joy and understanding. Does he laugh at other things? Funny writing,movies.
If there is no joy in your relationship then that is not good for your children.

Is there something that you both laugh at? (not necessarily each other) so you could begin by enjoying the feeling of laughing in each other’s company (if that makes sense!). I find it enjoyable to watch comedy with someone else and laugh with them for example.

It wouldn't/didn't work for me. I laugh a lot, it's part of who I am, and DP (will be DH in 4 weeks) laughs with me/at me/with the DCs all the time.
We all have really wacky sense of humour and constantly take the piss in a bantery way, and I couldn't be me without this.

He is a good man and a good father but I think we both just have to sadly face the music.

Could it be that life is just becoming a bit of a grind? Sometimes life can be like that and the fun seems to have gone but it can come back or is it more than that?

I couldn’t imagine a life with absolutely no laughter in it sorry.

Absolutely not. I need to laugh. Which is why I left him before the wedding

I can't imagine it. DH and I joke around all the time. He makes me laugh a lot, always has.

Laughing together is so important. We've had some tough times and life is hard, but we make each other laugh, every day. The dc pick up on our humour and see how it lightens an atmosphere.

What is your house like when he isn't there?

A lightbulb moment for me was when a family member discussed her husband and said "we were laughing so hard about xyz" that's when I realised I never had those lighter moment with Ex H. However the cause was more sinister than a sense of humour as over time Ex had taken control of family life and we couldn't be ourselves. It was subtle but I think his response or deliberate lack of response to humour made me stop having fun. If there are only two of you in a house and one person doesn't respond to humour then fun dries up.

Do you feel you have changed since being with your dh?

Yes, @Fireflygal, you have to be relaxed and able to be yourself to really laugh.

@OnlyToWin

Could it be that life is just becoming a bit of a grind? Sometimes life can be like that and the fun seems to have gone but it can come back or is it more than that?

Yes of course life has become a grind but I think it's more. We have so much but I'm pretty confident that if everything was swimming along it would still be flat. I wish there was something I could do.

All I want is an occasional laugh to lighten the atmosphere, all the tough stuff and the grind lofts for a second, the trouble is it never lifts for us. The children alleviate it but that's too much pressure on them.