Abusive mother wants access to my son

[MaryB90]

Hi all,

Hoping someone can help. My mother who I have no contact with as she is abusive, has heard that I am pregnant, just reached out to me to say if I don't make contact with her she will sue me for visitations with my child.

Is this possible? I'm so upset right now, I don't want to keep in touch with her for many reasons and I do not want her in my child's life. Been NC for 6 years now.

Please can someone advise 😢

Ignore her - she has no rights to your child. The only situations I've ever heard of grandparents having right to visits in the UK is in scenarios where the children are older and the grandparents have been significantly involved in their lives.
Your mother has no rights to be in your life or your baby's and I would assume will be told that by any lawyer, she is just trying to scare you and manipulate you.
You are breaking the abuse cycle with your baby, keep the two of you safe and away from her! All the best to you

Grandparents have zero rights to grandchildren. Block and ignore. Enjoy your baby!

Are you in the UK? If so, I want to reassure you that she has absolutely not got a leg to stand on legally. Making you upset and stressed by this is part of her abuse.

She's got no rights. Stay NC and enjoy your pregnancy and baby. Your life as a parent will be so much better without abusive people in it you're building your own lovely family x

No rights. If she had an established relationship then she could pursue something. But she doesn’t. Block and let her waste her money (guessing she won’t actually do anything but threaten).

Sounds like she is continuing with the abuse by trying to scare you. Grandparents have no right to contact with grandchildren. Block and ignore.

Please don’t worry op as far she has zero chance of seeing your child if you don’t want her too. She is trying to manipulate and intimidate you into breaking the no contact - please just ignore her. We’re no contact with my husbands family and we have been threatened that they will seek visitation rights but they’re all mouth and when they realised we wouldn’t be budging and wish to remain no contact they disappeared again

Thank you for all your replies, yes we are both in the UK. Her husband is a solicitor, just to make things worse. I am scared 😢 i don't have any evidence of the abuse as it was mainly psychological, should I seek legal advice just in case

She has no legal rights to your child. Grandparents don't unless they have been made the legal guardians.

Ignore her.

She has absolutely NO rights to see your baby. None whatsoever.

She has no rights at all.
Grandparents need to prove it is detrimental to the child to not continue with well established access before they can request access via the courts.
Continue to ignore her. You will not need to provide any proof.

Oh, and block her on everything, if you haven't already.

Block her in all ways and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy..

Her husband could be the Lord Chief Justice and he still couldn’t make you give your mum access to your child. Block and ignore.

Nope. Doesn't have a leg to stand on.

Don't allow contact at all from the very beginning, otherwise she'll try to establish it's to maintain a relationship, but if she never has one at all, you're golden.

Laugh at her and block her. She can have all the solicitors she wants , she hasn't a leg to stand on

Ignore her. Don’t waste your money on legal advice - I’m a lawyer and I’ll tell you for free! She has no rights to a child she’s never met. As others say it could be different if she was an established part of your child’s life. But she’s not nor will she be. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Don't even respond. Block her on everything. She has no rights. She just wants to try and exert control over you. You've been NC for 6 years so she is nothing to you now. And block whoever told her you're pregnant. You can do with out other people interfering in your life and passing on news about you.

No need for legal advice. It is impossible for her to get access even with the most amazing solicitor. The fact that she is threatening you proves she hasn't changed, especially given you are pregnant. I would inform her she is not to contact you again, otherwise you will call police

The best thing you can do is ensure that they have no contact whatsoever with your child. If they establish any form of settled relationship with your child then they might use that to convince a court that they should have some visitation rights - although even then they’d have a mountain to climb.
Since you’re going to be a parent, the usual advice is to get life insurance, make a will etc. You can nominate a guardian for your child. Maybe include a letter with your will addressed to social services etc stating that you wish them to know that you don’t consider your parents fit and proper people to look after your child, that they have never seen your child and details about why that is/ historic abuse etc. Do what you can to protect your child.

Since you’re going to be a parent, the usual advice is to get life insurance, make a will etc. You can nominate a guardian for your child. Maybe include a letter with your will addressed to social services etc stating that you wish them to know that you don’t consider your parents fit and proper people to look after your child, that they have never seen your child and details about why that is/ historic abuse etc. Do what you can to protect your child.

This. ^

Don't be afraid of her threats now, she is toothless with this, even with a solicitor husband. Hot air and fury to frighten you into doing what she wants.

Tell her you do not wish to have any kind of contact with her.

Block her on everything, and if possible move house so she doesn't know where you live.

If she persists having been told that you do not want to be in contact with her save copies of all communication with her, and keep a journal. This can be used if you decided to contact the police with a harassment charge.

Hi I was in exactly the same position as you, I had some advice from a solicitor and I was told not to allow any contact at all as the only time grandparents have rights is if they had a relationship with the grandchild and it would be deemed in the best interest of the child to continue that so I was told no relationship was my best route. My parent threatened me in all kinds of ways for access to my child, document everything. Also from bitter experience try to be careful what you tell other people and post online as it will get back to your mum and the less information they have on your child the better. Please let me know if you have any questions x

@EvelynBeatrice

The best thing you can do is ensure that they have no contact whatsoever with your child. If they establish any form of settled relationship with your child then they might use that to convince a court that they should have some visitation rights - although even then they’d have a mountain to climb. Since you’re going to be a parent, the usual advice is to get life insurance, make a will etc. You can nominate a guardian for your child. Maybe include a letter with your will addressed to social services etc stating that you wish them to know that you don’t consider your parents fit and proper people to look after your child, that they have never seen your child and details about why that is/ historic abuse etc. Do what you can to protect your child.

This!!! Great advice, please try not to worry and do not make any contact. The very act of threatening legal action is enough for no chance of ever winning such a move. Please block and do not allow contact to be established. Hope you are ok, this must be very upsetting no matter how hard you try to rise above