Are you a control freak? How do you stop it ruining your relationship? Is your OH a control freak? How does it make you feel?

[ohsodit]

If you are a control freak can you change?

How do you stop yourself taking everything over to make sure it is done "properly" ie how you want it done

It can't be very nice for the other party

I am not talking nasty bully weirdo control freak by the way

I am and I hate it ! dh very good though, we are quite similar,so no great conflicts.

So how do you relinquish control then?

i'm not a complete control freak, but do have significant tendencies towards control freakery...

i simply don't have the time to take everything over, i have to delegate.

is it ruining our relationship? dh would say yes, but i would say it is his slapdash ways which are ruining it.

don't know ohsodit ! we're used to being this way - only hope that this rigidity doesn't damage ds

My dh is a control freak (again not a pyscho weirdo bully one). Everything has to be orderley and neat. He has to hoover as I don't do it right (shame!! ). What always amazes me is he picked me, the most chaotic, messy bugger ever to fall in love with and worry. . . that said having spent time together we are working towards a better middle ground. I make more effort to be a bit neater before the big vein in his forehead explodes and he has had to relinquish some degree of control as he works and I'm at home doing (or not) the housework/child rearing. I always say to him, pick something small that isn't life or death, let it go and just keep thinking really what is the worst that can happen? So there will be a handprint on the clean window for a couple of hours/days/weeks . . . the window won't stop 'working', people won't walk passed and judge you, social services aren't going to take the kids away. On the other hand if you spend hours cleaning the windows/stressing about it then you're going to make yourself tired/ill which impacts on the whole family.

I have control freak tendencies that I try to squash! Before my DD was born in the days when we both worked full time and had a cleaner it wasn't really an issue. Harder now.
But when I was pregnant I went round to a friend's house and heard the way she spoke to her DH - sort of running commentary on what he was doing wrong - and saw him become less and less inclined to do anything and I really swore I didn't want to be like that. Doesn't always work - worktops that have been 'wiped' but are still covered in crumbs and smears annoy me but then my cleaning standards are pretty low and I'd hit the roof if DH commented on my poor hoovering for example so I try to let things go.