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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He says he regrets everything, what do I do

57 replies

Hasiva · 15/06/2021 22:46

I’ve been dating a guy for a month now and from the second date he was telling me he loved me which yes I know was too soon, I told him that it wasn’t love and he told me not to dictate his feelings which I never argued with..

Right from the get go he was very intense and passionate about me, crying when he thought I blocked him, I told him a couple weeks in I didn’t want to be with him as I just felt smothered he also cried at that too and I felt bad so I just stayed.. we both booked off a week just to get away for a few days aswell, he spoke about the idea of moving out together after New Years next year.. to which I told him he was rushing and moving way too fast

The last time I seen him I felt I connected with him as he had calmed down and we spoke about everything, all our feelings etc..

We see each other one night and day a week and today he told me one of his days off got moved to a different day which means I can’t see him every week, it’s more like every other week or once a month depending on my shifts..

He’s told me now that he regrets forcing me to love him that he shouldn’t have said he loved me too soon, he regrets talking about moving in together and that he doesn’t really see this working out as we can’t see each other much.. he said we could still be friends in which I said I don’t want to just be friends..

He basically regrets moving too quickly, the holiday is cancelled but I didn’t think that was going ahead anyways as I kept asking him if he booked the hotel and he was always like he’ll do it later or closer to the date..

In all honesty I’m just thinking about calling it quits, I just want to know everyone’s perspective on this and what you think I should do.. Please don’t be mean as it’s not necessary.

OP posts:
Ninkanink · 15/06/2021 22:48

Call it quits, right now. Just rip the plaster off.

It’s honestly not even worth another minute’s consideration.

BuddleiaBlooming · 15/06/2021 22:49

He love bombed you.

You don't even know for sure that what he said about his changing work pattern is true. This might be something he does with a new woman every few months.

That's not being mean, it's the truth.

He's not worth your time or your worry.

PurpleyBlue · 15/06/2021 22:49

It's only a month. I'd move on.

Smallredclip · 15/06/2021 22:49

Is this your first relationship?

Run. He’s crackers.

Knittedfairies · 15/06/2021 22:49

You've only been seeing him for a month; it shouldn't be this hard so soon. I'd be thinking about cutting my losses and moving on.

Cowbells · 15/06/2021 22:50

Move on. He has less emotional maturity than a bag of spuds.

BuddleiaBlooming · 15/06/2021 22:50

He basically regrets moving too quickly, the holiday is cancelled but I didn’t think that was going ahead anyways as I kept asking him if he booked the hotel and he was always like he’ll do it later or closer to the date..

This is a dead giveaway.

If he was as keen as he'd made out, he'd have booked it.

fiorentina · 15/06/2021 22:50

I think he’s already told you he wants to call it quits himself from what you’ve said, as he doesn’t see a future together.
He sounds quite erratic and hard work, hopefully you can move on and find someone you’re better suited to? Good luck.

Adultingdecisions · 15/06/2021 22:50

This sounds like love bombing.

He sounds very insecure and/or manipulative. Call it quits.

seensome · 15/06/2021 22:51

Run! He's mad

LongPauseNoAnswer · 15/06/2021 22:51

I haven’t read further than this crying when he thought I blocked him and I have a massive red flag klaxon going off.

Dump him and don’t look back. How to spot narcissistic behaviour for beginners, lesson 1!

Getafuckinggripman · 15/06/2021 22:52

This isn't a flag. It's a fucking parachute

ChatterMonkey · 15/06/2021 22:52

This sounds like such hard work for this early on. I would take that as a sign that its not going to get any easier and cut your losses.

Think about it, have you ever heard of or known anyone that have been together for years and years, that started off this unsteadily?

jelly79 · 15/06/2021 22:52

That's exhausting. And not normal

Justmuddlingalong · 15/06/2021 22:52

Christ, the drama! 🙄 Don't get sucked into it. Don't even stay friends, just block him.

Hasiva · 15/06/2021 22:53

@Adultingdecisions yess I thought it was love bombing aswell. But I just talked myself out of thinking that because of how genuine he made himself out to be..

OP posts:
MorriseysGladioli · 15/06/2021 22:53

He sounds a real drama queen.
One month in and he's crying..
I wouldn't bother; too much like hard work.

Maunderingdrunkenly · 15/06/2021 22:53

He’s a fruit loop

Run away

Ruminating2020 · 15/06/2021 22:54

So much drama and the intensity in such a short period.

This is not a safe relationship for you to be in. Get out now.

WaterBottle123 · 15/06/2021 22:56

He sounds dull and stupid. Block him.

Best of luck OP!

Hsurbbrb · 15/06/2021 22:56

He’s a fucking psycho. Why are you even with him? 😂

LivingLaVidaCovid · 15/06/2021 22:56

Run for the hills.
And don't look back...

SurelyNott · 15/06/2021 22:57

Sorry you see each other twice a week and it’s been a month, so you e had Max 8dates???

Jesus. Run and take a look at your bullshit radar.

Bumpsadaisie · 15/06/2021 23:01

I think this man is very very young emotionally.

PurpleyBlue · 15/06/2021 23:02

I told him a couple weeks in I didn’t want to be with him as I just felt smothered he also cried at that too and I felt bad so I just stayed.

Don't stay with someone just because they are upset if you try to end it

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