Anyone use condoms AND withdrawal?

[Leeeleee]

I have huge anxiety over getting pregnant. My husband might get a vasectomy soon but in the mean time I'm trying to find a way to have sex without worrying I'm pregnant until I can take a test. We used withdrawal successfully for 6 months before we had children but we were okay to get pregnant then, not now. I can't use hormonal and can't do IUD either.

Anyone have success with both condoms and withdrawal?

Thanks

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I feel your pain 100%. we used condoms but not withdrawal as well, but I did find myself worrying about it a lot. I'm a bit older now so I feel slightly less stressed as the chances of me getting pregnant seem so much lower.

Having said that, condom an withdrawal seems overkill and difficult. why isn't he getting the vasectomy? If he doesn't want to, have you considered female sterilisation? I spoke to my doctor and in my area, you have to have an "interview" for female sterilisation but I was approved. I didn't have it for a very specific personal reason, but I still wish it was something I could have done.

A little OTT, with the first you don´t need the second. Paraphrasing a nineties joke, if it gets out of there you can call it McGyver.

How about combining the rhythm method with condoms?

Natural Family Planning here and condoms. Not helping our sex life to be honest but the vasectomy was promised 7 years ago.

Have you tried a diaphragm?

Yes, been using condoms/withdrawal for 20 years, had two planned pregnancies, pregnant first month of trying both times, no unplanned. I also track my cycle so during fertile times do condoms/withdrawal, less fertile times just withdrawal.

Very early on when we were dating we had two condoms split, they were completely shredded to pieces, same packet think it must have been a fault in those ones but I never fully trusted them again so we started with the withdrawal as well.

I have migraine with aura and can’t use any hormonal based contraceptives, morning after pill etc. I tried the mini pill years ago in Uni and I reacted to that. Never fancied the copper coil as I got pregnant so easily and know lots of people who’ve got pregnant on it.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Have you tried a diaphragm?

Good luck with that. I tried to get one after DD. Gave up after I was basically lectured at at the contraception clinic and told that there's only one doctor/nurse who can fit me etc etc.

Triffid1 Oh that's a shame, I used one for years combined with condoms. Is it because doctors push the Mirena these days ? I imagine that's easier for them

My friend still uses condoms even though her DH had a vastectomy, she’s that terrified about becoming pregnant again and she actively avoids her fertile window still. You’re not alone at all, maybe sterilisation would put your mind at ease? More invasive for a woman though.

I've only used condoms since c2004 ish and had no splits/only planned DC. I did however used to use condoms and withdraw as a teen as I was terrified of getting pregnant.

@Triffid1

I feel your pain 100%. we used condoms but not withdrawal as well, but I did find myself worrying about it a lot. I'm a bit older now so I feel slightly less stressed as the chances of me getting pregnant seem so much lower.

Having said that, condom an withdrawal seems overkill and difficult. why isn't he getting the vasectomy? If he doesn't want to, have you considered female sterilisation? I spoke to my doctor and in my area, you have to have an "interview" for female sterilisation but I was approved. I didn't have it for a very specific personal reason, but I still wish it was something I could have done.

Thanks for your reply, Triffid. I know I'm not alone in my fears but it's nice to be told directly.

He most likely will get it soon but he takes a while to do anything big so I'm not pushing it. I did seriously look into the op for myself but didn't like the hormonal imbalance that often comes with cutting off blood supple to the ovaries.

@SVRT19674

A little OTT, with the first you don´t need the second. Paraphrasing a nineties joke, if it gets out of there you can call it McGyver.

Haha! I always appreciate a good nineties joke :P

@Mumoftwoinprimary

How about combining the rhythm method with condoms?

When my periods come back (I'm currently breastfeeding) I will combine whatever method we use with charting/mucus observation.

@Firenight

Natural Family Planning here and condoms. Not helping our sex life to be honest but the vasectomy was promised 7 years ago.

Shame about the 7 year wait, I'm hoping I don't have to wait too long, I'm trying to be patient. Yes I plan to use NFP when my period returns.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Have you tried a diaphragm?

Have heard of too many babies from that, including my mum. Plus I'm prone to infections if too much prodding there, but thanks for the suggestion.

@ProfessorPootle

Yes, been using condoms/withdrawal for 20 years, had two planned pregnancies, pregnant first month of trying both times, no unplanned. I also track my cycle so during fertile times do condoms/withdrawal, less fertile times just withdrawal.

Very early on when we were dating we had two condoms split, they were completely shredded to pieces, same packet think it must have been a fault in those ones but I never fully trusted them again so we started with the withdrawal as well.

I have migraine with aura and can’t use any hormonal based contraceptives, morning after pill etc. I tried the mini pill years ago in Uni and I reacted to that. Never fancied the copper coil as I got pregnant so easily and know lots of people who’ve got pregnant on it.

Good to know I wouldn't be alone in trying both. I would also try to chart my fertile time. Sorry about the broken condoms, I can imagine that was very tricky, I know I couldn't trust after that either. We've never had a split but I'm just that scared. Yes, same here, heard too many bad IUD stories. Thanks so much for your reply.

@Whyhello

My friend still uses condoms even though her DH had a vastectomy, she’s that terrified about becoming pregnant again and she actively avoids her fertile window still. You’re not alone at all, maybe sterilisation would put your mind at ease? More invasive for a woman though.

I hugely sympathize with your friend. To be honest, I can't say I won't do the same if/when my husband gets the snip. I've heard of vasectomies failing and that terrifies me. Thanks for your reply, it means a lot. I have seriously thought of female sterilization but I don't like the hormonal effects from cutting off blood supple to the ovaries, plus they fail more than vasectomies do.

@TuvoknotSpock

I've only used condoms since c2004 ish and had no splits/only planned DC. I did however used to use condoms and withdraw as a teen as I was terrified of getting pregnant.

I don't know why but it's just good to hear I'm not the only one to use both. We've never had a problem with condoms either but I just always want a safety net.

So, you have huge anxiety about getting pregnant but your "D"H is taking his sweet time over getting the snip? Simple! No sex till he gets it. I'm sure that will focus the mind.

Condoms and withdrawal and 3 children snuck in over 20 years, so it's not failproof !

Hang on - does female sterilisation cut off blood supply to the ovaries? I'd never heard that. It's not a hysterectomy, hormones don't change.

Hang on - does female sterilisation cut off blood supply to the ovaries? I'd never heard that. It's not a hysterectomy, hormones don't change.

Agreed- but weirdly the second time someone's had this impression this week. It's an old wives' tale.

Regardless, my understanding is that vasectomy is simpler.

Vasectomy is definitely simpler but I don't want to dismiss the long term chronic pain that can occur afterwards. I've shepherded 2 husbands to the vasectomy clinic and thankfully neither had long term problems but the NHS suddenly put up a note saying there was a 10% risk of long term pain, which is very high.

Have heard of too many babies from that, including my mum I wouldn't rely on it as the only method of contraception but I wouldn't rely on just condoms either.

Hope you find a solution, the anxiety is awful.

@PermanentTemporary

Vasectomy is definitely simpler but I don't want to dismiss the long term chronic pain that can occur afterwards. I've shepherded 2 husbands to the vasectomy clinic and thankfully neither had long term problems but the NHS suddenly put up a note saying there was a 10% risk of long term pain, which is very high.

My doctor is pretty cross about this as it's what put DH off originally and she said she's never once had a patient with long term pain.

He then decided he WOULD do it, and the doctor who was supposed to do it spent 20 minutes warning him about all the risks and demanding detailed explanations of why his wife couldn't use hormonal contraception.

It was incredibly frustrating. The doctor I saw about sterilisation did ask about DH - but it was one question, "You know that vasectomy is a much simpler procedure, with much fewer risks, can your DH not do that?" Me: "He is terrified and I, of course, can't force him." Doctor: "okay then".

At the vasectomy, Dh had all the reasons why I can't (not, don't want, but CAN'T) use hormonal contraception and they still tried to convince him that I was the problem.

Makes me very very angry.

Oh, and as for female sterilisation, I don't think it has any hormonal impact. My understanding is that it simply stops the egg from getting into position?