Today my sister said it really irritates her how my boyfriend openly flirts with my best friend on facebook. I can see the comments, they don't bother me. My DD chimed in and said when we went out for dinner this week she caught him looking at my bestfriends boobs. I have to admit, I don't really care about either. It just doesn't bother me, men look at other women and she is an attractive woman she also had a top on that had hearts on the nipples so it does grab your attention. I am a pretty laid back person and i feel that both my boyfriend and best friend are more aware than anyone else the hardships I have experienced over the years especially with my ex and I genuinely trust my boyfriend. I don't think he would cheat on me and I don't think either one would intentionally hurt me.......but maybe I am too trusting? Maybe they have just become a bit too familiar with one another? Maybe I am totally naïve and there is something going on? I was just happy that they got on and we all hang out together and its really easy and laid back, my bezzie hated my ex and it caused loads fo arguemtns. I feel like this has made me question everything. Less so about my boyfriend/bestfriend and more so about me. I am just judging everything and going over every convo I've had with my best friend recently.
My boyfriend is a pretty flirty person, he has always been this way. It was actually one of the things I like about him most, he is funny and silly and loves attention from anyone- that however doesn't = a cheat and he has never given me any reason to not trust him. He is just a super friendly person.
I am 6 months pregnant so feeling pretty self conscious about the way I look and these comments have knocked me for 6. My best friend is very pretty, confident and well put together so equally next to her I look homeless, I scrub up ok but I don't tend to make much effort with my day to day appearance- she always looks pristine. Every time I tried to explain stuff or give more context to my sister I just made things worse. I just sat there in a room whilst everyone else tore my relationship apart and right now I feel empty and alone. Dsis made me feel like I obviously don't have any self respect. Said if her DP did the same he's lop his man hood off with a knife......those kind of joyus comments. My boyfriend and I don't have a conventional relationship- we don't live together so have he stays here part of the week and at his the rest. People don't get it. We have been together many years. But it works for us and he plans to move in before the baby arrives. Others have always been very critical of this.
The 2 people I would usually turn to and talk things through with are out of bounds because they are the accused and I am sat here crying.
Yesterday I waddled out of tesco with the weekly shop thinking how lucky I am. How life is finally coming together. I felt particularly lucky to have my boyfriend and my best friend and now I just feel stupid. I think if my sister and DD see their comments on facebook and are making these judgements then what the hell does the rest of the world think?
I wonder if I am just unlovable. My ex damaged me so much. I don't really know what a healthy relationship looks like. I thought what me and my boyfriend had was good but maybe I am deluded.
Equally it feels like every time I am happy someone wants to come along and shit of my party. I feel like shutting myself off from everyone and just doing my own thing because other people just let me down and hurt me constantly and right now I have no resilience to any of it.
I don't think my sister should have made any comments in front of DD. And now DD wants to say something to my boyfriend, I told her that is fine but not to drag me into it. I just don't know how to deal with this. I don't know how to feel or what to do. It has really upset me. I don't even know which part has upset me. I am just sick of my life constantly being picked apart by others equally now I am questioning if I am just totally stupid.