MARAC domestic violence 2

[Littlelegs2]

Hi I posted a few days back but can't find my post. So my daughter fleed domestic violence back in November. Well today I found out she's been in contact with him. Whilst he's been in prison. He's been in prison for around 6 months. Now I was hoping she would use that time to distance herself/move on . But a short while back she had contact with him for 20hrs . She said that was over a couple of weeks. And there's no been no contact for a month.

Professionals found out and now my grandson is on the child protection register. Daughter was put into emgency accommodation due to the domestic violence. He now has her phone number. Social services think he knows where she is although Daughter says he does not. Social services want her move from where she is either by approaching another council or by going to a refuge.

I feel so upset and sad for her and my grandson. I don't understand why she has done this . She was with him for about 9 months . He's not her sons father . So it's not even like it was long term and the violence happend over time. It was all pretty fast.

Basically if she does not show that she's stopped contacting him/they find out she has been in contact with him . Her son will be put in care.

I honestly don't know what to do .

Cant get my head around these mothers at all. A nine month relationship. A six month prison sentence. Still speaks to him and facing losing her little boy. So sorry for you OP, must be so hard.

@MrsBertBibby

OP I think you need to accept your daughter isn't going to stop seeing this man.

If you don't have room, and there's no other family to step in, your grandson is likely to go into foster care.

I Don't have to accept she won't stop seeing him. As we don't know that . I have to hope she has realised how important this all is. All this time she called the police when he hurt her. When he went on the run she reported that she knew where he was. When he wrote to her she reported it. When he was calling her she reported it.

But just this last time she did not and she actually spoke to him. For a long time. I don't know why she did it. But I can't just give up on her and my grandson.

Little legs, I'm a family solicitor. This is depressingly normal.

You need to prioritise your grandson. I'm sorry, but your daughter is unlikely to get another chance, and she's unlikely not to blow it if she's given one.

@MrsBertBibby

Little legs, I'm a family solicitor. This is depressingly normal.

You need to prioritise your grandson. I'm sorry, but your daughter is unlikely to get another chance, and she's unlikely not to blow it if she's given one.

She has not met him face to face though it was just a phone call . So I'm hoping that might save her. I have been told a section 47 investigation does not mean my grandson will be put into care? But that he may be on the at risk register will watch dd very closely and if she messes up again that will be it?

I will 100% fight for my grandson.

She has not met him face to face though it was just a phone call . So I'm hoping that might save her. I have been told a section 47 investigation does not mean my grandson will be put into care? But that he may be on the at risk register

Did you read my earlier post explaining this? Here it is -

Section 47 is an investigation. The threshold is met for a child protection conference which will determine whether he will go on a child protection plan or not .
They may also have had a legal planning meeting (parents don't attend this) to determine whether it meets the threshold for legal proceedings or pre legal proceedings (PLO).
If they go into PLO they will have a meeting which your daughter will attend with a solicitor called a meeting before action/proceedings. They will ask her who they can assess to care for the child. Would you be willing to do that?
They may ask her to consent to hand the child over to you or to a foster carer. If they do that they may go to court after that to formalise it.

There is no such thing as an at risk register. If you have any further questions about the process let me know.

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

She has not met him face to face though it was just a phone call . So I'm hoping that might save her. I have been told a section 47 investigation does not mean my grandson will be put into care? But that he may be on the at risk register

Did you read my earlier post explaining this? Here it is -

Section 47 is an investigation. The threshold is met for a child protection conference which will determine whether he will go on a child protection plan or not .
They may also have had a legal planning meeting (parents don't attend this) to determine whether it meets the threshold for legal proceedings or pre legal proceedings (PLO).
If they go into PLO they will have a meeting which your daughter will attend with a solicitor called a meeting before action/proceedings. They will ask her who they can assess to care for the child. Would you be willing to do that?
They may ask her to consent to hand the child over to you or to a foster carer. If they do that they may go to court after that to formalise it.

There is no such thing as an at risk register. If you have any further questions about the process let me know.

So there is going to be a meeting is 14 days that both me and dd can go to. Nothing has been mentioned about solicitors? Is this to decide if grandson needs to be removed from dd care

The meeting in 14 days is a child protection conference. That decides whether the child will go on a child protection plan or not. It has nothing to do with court. If court was being considered your DD would have been informed.
Social services can't make the decision to remove a child from the parent. They can decide to apply to court for a judge or magistrates to decide. If that was going to happen your DD would know. From what you've said it doesn't sound like that's on the cards at the moment.

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

The meeting in 14 days is a child protection conference. That decides whether the child will go on a child protection plan or not. It has nothing to do with court. If court was being considered your DD would have been informed. Social services can't make the decision to remove a child from the parent. They can decide to apply to court for a judge or magistrates to decide. If that was going to happen your DD would know. From what you've said it doesn't sound like that's on the cards at the moment.

Thank you. And what would a protection plan mean?

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/children-and-young-people/child-abuse/local-authority-involvement/child-abuse-child-protection-plans/

Take a look here

@Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Take a look here

Thank you . It sounds to me like she might have a chance to put things right. And that they will watch her very closely. And if she messes up then it will go to court.

Child protection is the stage before PLO. PLO is the stage before court. Any stage can be skipped if the situation is serious enough but this wouldn't happen without the parents being aware.

Hi OP, I remember you. We spoke at length during your last post. I am sorry to hear this development. One of the key things to establish here is whether he is coming out of custody on licence or not.

We've never had an outcome strategy discussion that held the ICPC at the same meeting.

The outcome strategy discussions I have attended may well recommend an initial child protection conference needs to be convened and these have usually happened around 10 days after the above meeting.

We have, however had an initial strategy discussion that went straight to an ICPC so I guess this might be the meeting you are talking about.

You just need some clarity over whether this is an outcome strategy discussion or not and is therefore an initial child protection conference.

From your other posts it seems it has gone straight to an initial child protection conference.

They can't take your grandson away at that conference as has been mentioned above. Professionals will be writing reports to recommend what happens next and it may be that he is placed on a child protection plan.

Legal planning does take some time. The only incident we have had where a child was removed immediately was in response to a serious police incident where the children were present and were removed by the police under a section 20 order.

The parents did agree to the section 20.

@RoseRedRoseBlue

Hi OP, I remember you. We spoke at length during your last post. I am sorry to hear this development. One of the key things to establish here is whether he is coming out of custody on licence or not.

Hi. I was kind of hoping you might see this . And yes hee coming out on licence

Hello Again 🙂

Well, release on licence is good news. I am sure his Probation Officer will be in contact with Children’s Services and I imagine they would also be looking to have various restrictive conditions on his licence which with a high risk case should result in a swift recall if they are breached. However, this does become a lot more complex if your daughter initiates or otherwise engages in contact with him.

were removed by the police under a section 20 order.

Section 20 isn't an order, it's a voluntary agreement to accommodate. Police can remove children under police powers of protection (not an order) for up to 72 hours to allow social services to make an emergency court application.

@RoseRedRoseBlue

Hello Again 🙂

Well, release on licence is good news. I am sure his Probation Officer will be in contact with Children’s Services and I imagine they would also be looking to have various restrictive conditions on his licence which with a high risk case should result in a swift recall if they are breached. However, this does become a lot more complex if your daughter initiates or otherwise engages in contact with him.

Hes not the sort of person to take notice of and law things. Since he's been in prison. He was calling her from prison. On several occasions. Which she reported. And he wrote to her from prison. Which again she reported. Yet he's still allowed to come out at the end of the week. On early realese. Social services have been I'm touch with probation They have concerns and feel its likely he will try and contact her.

Okay she has been reporting him but he has been insistent on having contact with her?
She needs to change her number again and sever all contact, it's not as simple as 'she spoke to him she must want him back' it can sometimes seem easier to try and appease the abuser if he makes it clear she cannot escape him. I'm speaking from experience I tried very hard to sever contact and it involved about 5 different number changes and I moved 3 times in less than 4 months, she needs to show SS she wants to be safe. Could she stay with you?
She will need support and not judgement as he seems to be very insistent on retaining contact, she may need to be moved again.
She will also need EVERY legal route covered, restraining orders and constant reporting of EVERY contact to convince SS she is serious.

Sadly if SS decide he is too invested they may remove her child BUT they should be willing to try and make her safe first. Your support will be crucial to this but it may be time to have a very uncomfortable conversation making sure she understands it's lose him or lose her child while also understanding he is not allowing her to just 'lose him', she has to be hidden from him regardless of how inconvenient it is to keep changing numbers, she has to do so.

If she gets every legal protection in place and reports EVERYTHING she can turn this around.

If MARAC is involved that shows the services are willing to support her, they should help with moving her again I actually found them very helpful (although quite frustrating at times)

Well, if that’s the case, and he won’t comply, the situation will likely resolve itself when he gets his licence revoked and is returned to custody. He isn’t the one calling the shots here, no matter what he might like to think.

She has one choice to make - the boyfriend or the son. She can't have both.