Inappropriate Photo

[allthevowels]

My daughter is in Year 9 at secondary school, she uses social media a lot. Especially Snapchat. She sometimes takes photos of people’s posts on Snapchat using my phone, then sends them to herself. Usually because she doesn’t want the person to know she has taken a screenshot. This in itself is not acceptable to me and she knows this! Usually she deletes the photo from my phone and recently deleted, when she’s sent it to herself. However, this time, it’s still in recently deleted! It’s a picture of a boy lying on his bed, he is fully clothed from the chest down, however, it clearly shows an erection through his trousers with the caption “You are so fuckin beautiful”. I have no idea from the image, who this person is.

How would you deal with this?

1. A chat about online safety and behaviour without mentioning the photo etc

1. Show her the photo and explain why it’s not appropriate to send these images and/or share them etc

1. Leave it and say nothing!

Christ OP, do you understand the consequences of your daughter doing this, she is using your phone to distribute inappropriate images of a minor. If she can’t use Snapchat sensibly then she needs to have it removed from her phone and do not let her use your phone again.

Your phone has been used to distribute sexual images of a child. That's incredibly serious.

As previous posts have pointed out, the images on and shared on both you and your DDs phone could get both of you in serious trouble.

You need to speak to your DD about the law regarding images and distribution. Also contact the Safeguarding Lead in her school because the boy sending the images needs to be spoken to

If the poster was posting that her son was using his dad’s phone to send an inappropriate image of a girl to his son and was planning on passing it on, this thread would be very, very different.

@StarryNight13

If the poster was posting that her son was using his dad’s phone to send an inappropriate image of a girl to his son and was planning on passing it on, this thread would be very, very different.

Agree, sadly

You ban snapchat as she's clearly not mature enough to use it.

Op, I am surprised you even considered ignoring this. You maybe under reacting due to your upbringing but this isn't what every 14 year old does. She maybe immature BUT that means she needs more restrictions and careful monitoring as she isn't able to make sensible decisions.

I have similar aged teens and whilst I can't police 100% of what they do online they know they couldn't do this and use my phone. I think you need to get tougher and quickly!

She maybe be immature but she obviously thinks her deviousness somehow makes her immune from the consequences of her behaviour. That ship of her not lying to you has already sailed because she’s lying to you and is choosing to insulate herself from the consequences of her deception, by deleting the evidence. You clearly can’t trust her.

You having a foto of a minor with an obvious erection is not okay and could land you into trouble. God only know what she’s doing with the images.

Why it took you so long to password protect your phone I do not know. Her love for her own phone is your leverage, you pay her subscription making her phone a privilege not a bloody right.

OP,
People are rightly pointing out the seriousness of what your daughter is doing.

I mean it kindly but you seem a bit naive.

What your daughter has done is dishonest, sneaky and illegal.
You are stressing that she is immature and a bit innocent.

There is NOTHING innocent in what she has done.

By using YOUR phone, she has been extremely devious.

I think you are hugely underestimating how immature she is.

I would be wanting to check her phone EVERY single night and let her know it's happening.

This is not the time for pussy footing diplomacy.

She is very wrong.

What she has done is very wrong.

You thinking she is innocent isn't going to protect her or you.

Wishing you well.