So angry at her.....sorry long rant

[smithfield]

Don't know where to start really as Im angry at what is happening now, but think its all linked with stuff over the years.

My ds is getting christened on sunday, and I asked my sister to be godmother. Its been hard organising this as im heavily pregnant, working full time, have ds to look after and dh works long hours six days a week.
My sister doesnt have kids, lives with my dad, and her only responsibility is her 3 days per week job (working for my brother) and renovating the house she just bought with her boyfriend.
Yesterday I had my mum on the phone saying I really ought to talk to my sister as she doesnt know what is happening with the christening. I then find out she is flying up from london and has booked in to a hotel at the airport and has arranged for my mum to pick her up (my mum doesnt live here either but is driving up on the friday).
After managing to get no details from her via text, replies such as 'mums picking me up so don't worry' (what time) 'dont know cos I got to check in' (what time)...I finally called her to have her yell down the phone and say I was just trying to pick a fight and she was 'trying' to eat her dinner.
I feel so angry, hurt, let down....I dont think asking what time she will arrive is too much to ask. I find it really odd that she has made her time spent here as minmal as possible and despite the fact her Bf is not coming has still chosen to fly up on her own and stay in a hotel.
I am left second guessing if she will turn up at all, and I guess I am tempted to ask someone else to be godmother...not out of spite but so I can relax and not rely on someone who so obviously doesn't really see the role as the honor its should be.

Sorry for the rant but I feel incredibly low and lonely atm. Just dont have anyone to turn to....except you lovely cyber mums

Hi Smith - I followed this thread and I thought wow you really lashed out earlier, but now I can see why. I identify with what Gibbon said, my dad was not abusive, just unresponsive and uncaring, in fact both parents were never the type to cuddle. My father ran off with a girl 2 years older than my sister, and I cut him off totally. I invited him to my wedding, under duress from mum, and wish to this day i haden't. He has never seen my dc, nor will he. He keeps in touch with sis and bro, but they are only in it for his Will. I feel like I have no father, and i feel stronger for it. But I know it's made me isolated and secretive, even with dh. Still, better than being mentally battered.

BTW good luck with the christening on sunday!

Hi sparkybabe- thanks for your message. I always think people that do cut such major figures out of their life are really brave to do so. So you are a brave lady.
Your father must have really knocked your trust in men? My dad ran off too when I was five but came back a year later. He was always threatening to leave after that, and often did with plenty of high drama.

Thanks for the good luck-feel quite drained atm. think Ive found out why sis is being bit elusive, my younger bro is opening his restaurant this weekend, so looks like one camp will head there whilst the other (percieved camp) will head here.

Hi Smithie - It sounds like i'm really brave but i was in my 20's when he went off - he'd left on a posting (he was in army) a few years before, and then never came home. Mum was really knocked for 6 (atttempted suicide etc) which turned me against him. I can never forgive him for what he did to her (after 25 years of marriage). Like i said, I feel that i coop things up in myself (i actually prefer to be alone rather than with people for any length of time) but ifeel it makes me more resilient. You are diffeent to me in that you want to reach out to your family, I wanted to push them away. You are the one more likely to be hurt. I hope you can find the relationships you want with your family. If not theres always your own dc to keep hold of.