Does your partner have an issue with you speaking to the opposite sex?

[yogibear0]

With my partner 16 years and he's always had an issue about me saying hi or having a conversation with other men. I've dealt with this for a long time but recently a neighbour approached me as my mum hadn't been well and just said him and his wife were sorry to hear my mum was unwell and if there was anything they could do to help just let them know.

My partner seen the guy talking to me and for an entire week he's got very paranoid and sometimes a bit aggressive (hasn't acted on it)

He keeps going over the same line that I shouldn't be speaking to being nice to other men whilst I'm with him and by doing that I'm making a mug out of him. Told me there is a want in me for male attention and he says I can't just say hello and go about my business, that I need to flirt...

I've put it behind me for years his attitude to me speaking to the opposite sex. He constantly tells me people in relationships don't need to meet and greet the opposite sex and it's very strange if you do. That you are disrespecting your partner. I'm pretty aware this is bollocks but I needed to create a post just to show myself that I'm right. There is nothing wrong about speaking to the opposite sex. It doesn't mean I'm a whole just because I was polite to this man for being kind

ExH did, but that's because he was a controlling prick. DP has never, nor would he.

Run away now. Do not invest any more time in this ' man'.
Of course you should be able to have a conversation with whoever you want. The fact you're even questioning the fact shows you've spent too much time with him already.

Dh has no issue with me talking to anyone, I work in a very male dominated role, so it'd be a bit difficult if he did...
It seems a bit possessive to me that he is against you even just saying hi to other men, has he ever explained deeper than saying you're taking him for a mug, also does he have the same opinions on himself speaking to women?

Yeah your DH is the one with the problem not you.

Does he apply the same rules to himself out of interest? Never passes the time with a woman in any sphere of his life?

No. Didn’t think so.

He needs to get a grip

It would make work rather difficult, of I couldn't talk to men...

Of course he doesn't mind/care if I talk to other men. I have male friends, he has female friends.

You know this isn't ok OP.

I hope not. I work in a team of 20 and I’m the only female.

No, this isnt normal.
How does he feel about your friends, workmates, or boss? Do you have hobbies or pets?

Yeah. I accidentally without thinking about it returned a man’s smile when I was out once with DH and he didn’t like it at all.
He doesn’t like me having anything to do with men at work. He tells me when I go out I look too nice to go out without him and no other men are to get ideas and not to speak to other men, even the bartender. Then he laughs. Like it’s a joke. I’m not convinced.

Obviously this is completely and utterly ridiculous. Has he always been such a giant paranoid baby who treats you as a belonging!? Does he also refer to you as a ‘whore’ who ‘feels the need to flirt with men?!’

Why are you putting up with this utter nonsense!? Do you have kids who are learning this is ‘normal?’

Of course you know this isn't normal. Get out of this relationship now.

DP has absolutely no issue with me talking to whoever I want.

Your partner has a dangerous regressive attitude. And the fact that you needed to ask this question suggests you’ve been victim to it for far too long.

He Is .being controlling and totally unreasonable. You can talk to whoever you wish to!

Dh has no problem with me talking to guys.i worked in bars and restaurants for 19 years of our relationship! No jealousy whatsoever!

Your oh sounds unstable!

Of course not.

It would be off to actually flirt with other people in front of him, but you're talking about normal non-sexual human interactions.

People in relationships meet and greet the opposite sex all the time and it's perfectly normal. Most of us are in 2021, your DH sounds more like he is living in 1621.

No, of course not, and if anyone I had started seeing ever gave a hint that they thought like that, they would never have become my partner.

He's making a mug of himself by being so insecure he can't face you talking to other men. DH and I both have friends of the opposite sex. In normal, healthy relationships this is allowed - he's only drawing attention to his own issue by making an issue of it if he acts off when you talk to another man! No one else will think twice and it's certainly not 'normal' to expect your partner not to interact with the opposite sex.

Wouldn't occur to my DH to think anything of such an innocent conversation. I'd struggle to be in a relationship with someone who has such a thought process.

He is a controlling, paranoid, jealous idiot.

No. He sounds like he's projecting his thoughts onto your innocent behaviour.

Does he speak to women?

Sadly the saying that he's judging you based on his own behaviour often does seem to be true.

He sounds dangerous.
www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help?gclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=Cj0KCQjwh_eFBhDZARIsALHjIKeegAbUM0LYnReUZ8DPnxleMIOloMpp97JRtRCMc8q2iVui9qZ_d5UaAj6VEALw_wcB

[quote TellmewhoIam]He sounds dangerous.
www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help?gclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=Cj0KCQjwh_eFBhDZARIsALHjIKeegAbUM0LYnReUZ8DPnxleMIOloMpp97JRtRCMc8q2iVui9qZ_d5UaAj6VEALw_wcB[/quote]
Also @Honeybeetaxi