Does your partner have an issue with you speaking to the opposite sex?

[yogibear0]

With my partner 16 years and he's always had an issue about me saying hi or having a conversation with other men. I've dealt with this for a long time but recently a neighbour approached me as my mum hadn't been well and just said him and his wife were sorry to hear my mum was unwell and if there was anything they could do to help just let them know.

My partner seen the guy talking to me and for an entire week he's got very paranoid and sometimes a bit aggressive (hasn't acted on it)

He keeps going over the same line that I shouldn't be speaking to being nice to other men whilst I'm with him and by doing that I'm making a mug out of him. Told me there is a want in me for male attention and he says I can't just say hello and go about my business, that I need to flirt...

I've put it behind me for years his attitude to me speaking to the opposite sex. He constantly tells me people in relationships don't need to meet and greet the opposite sex and it's very strange if you do. That you are disrespecting your partner. I'm pretty aware this is bollocks but I needed to create a post just to show myself that I'm right. There is nothing wrong about speaking to the opposite sex. It doesn't mean I'm a whole just because I was polite to this man for being kind

I’m so lost, lonely and confused. I tried not speaking to anyone of the opposite sex. I’ve quit hobbies that he didn’t like me doing because the opposite sex participated. And he said I did it because I just wanted to be around other men. I’ve changed the way. I dressed, I’ve changed the way I joke around. I’ve went back to him multiple times because I missed him so bad and I have nothing else in my life. I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life at this man. He did have a lot of good qualities. And at my age, those are getting fewer and farther in between. I don’t have great friends to talk to. I’ve been going to therapy, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I’m trying to face spending the rest of my life alone, but for me it’s a very hard pill to swallow. Especially for me because I’m so isolated from human conversation and contact. Thank you for your responses,

Gosh no, never! Been together 35 years and never once questioned me about talking to another bloke. I work with a couple of guys so when I talk about work I obvs talk about them too…no issue. We trust each other. I once came home from doing the food shopping and told him I’d been asked out at the supermarket by some random guy I’d exchanged pleasantries with at the bread counter! We had a bit of a laugh about it, but he wasn’t jealous at all (nor did he accuse me of leading someone on for that matter). He also has female friends amongst his colleagues and has gone out with them either as part of a group or occasionally on their own. I don’t think twice about it.

This behaviour is controlling, worrying and completely out of order. I wouldn’t be with someone like that.

@CubanGato How could you be supported to leave him?

You sound so unhappy and as if you've changed (& lost) so much of yourself trying to be what he wants.

I know it seems so hard, but when you don't have him any more, you can have the hobbies, the human conversation and contact, the friends - all with joy and laughter and guilt free...
And most likely another relationship in future as well if you want it, later on.

You sound like your life was much bigger and brighter before him, but you've been steadily dimming your light and diminishing yourself to try to appease him - and as you said, it didn't work, it won't work and he will steadily become more abusive than he is now.

You're worth so much more - how can we help you believe in yourself and take those steps?

Agree. My ex used to drive me nuts with all sorts of wild accusations of flirting/chatting to/"Sticking my t!ts out at" other men - but behind my back was flirting away with what I used to call his Facebook harem. Course, they were all 'friends' with 'interests in common', though he sexted one and thought I didn't know. Utter rubbish; it was one rule for him and another for me. Another reason why he's an ex.