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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

2008 is MY year!

227 replies

Dior · 19/11/2007 20:31

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Original poster
Dior · 30/11/2007 17:10

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lou33 · 30/11/2007 18:19

not such a foul mood now then?!

Original poster
Dior · 30/11/2007 18:38

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Original poster
Dior · 30/11/2007 18:44

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lou33 · 30/11/2007 18:45

it's because you are not happy with your h, and you are focusing on G and how he made you feel etc

because it feels better than thinking about how your h makes you feel

Original poster
Dior · 30/11/2007 18:49

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lou33 · 30/11/2007 18:50

he may be trying, but it doesnt mean its working

Original poster
Dior · 30/11/2007 18:52

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lou33 · 30/11/2007 18:53

will you ever be happy? yes

will you be happy with h? i dont know

Original poster
Dior · 30/11/2007 18:57

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Paddlechick666 · 30/11/2007 19:11

dior, you are totally designed to be happy.

this is tough period for you. you're experiencing a bit of an anti-climax after really ramping yourself up to leave.

on top of that you've been unwell and that's affecting your ADs I think.

on the bright side, H putting in some effort means this period isn't as dark as it might have been.

give yourself a break, you're over-analysing yourself and concluding that you're the wicked witch.

you're not. you're allowed to feel the way you are and i for one think it's pretty normal.

as baffy already said, if you were such an awful horrible person you'd A) not realise it and B) if you did realise you'd not give a toss!

ease up on yourself. x

Fubsy · 30/11/2007 19:41

Dior my love, youre not a 17 year old having her Goth phase. Of course you are meant to be happy.

No matter how much H tries, it may not be enough. Then again it might.

If it doesnt work, dont blame yourself and say iit was because of something you did, or the way you are.

Sometimes things arent meant to be.

Give your relationship a chance, but try to be objective. You tell us a lot about what H thinks of you - what do you think of him? Are YOU happy? Is he giving you what you want?

No one can be deleriously happy all the time. But theres contentment and comfort as well. If theres any sense that you are depending on his mood to be ok in yourself, you need to question that.

Elizabetth · 01/12/2007 01:18

He's not trying that hard though is he? You show him how seriously you feel about his behaviour towards you, including the issue of the way he tries to control you through your weight and a few days afterwards he's showing you he's got negative feelings about it once again. I'm sorry but his "disappointed for you" excuse is just a way of blaming his negativity on you and making you feel responsible for it.

Sorry to butt in here again, but I've read your threads Dior and your husband's behaviour towards you sounds awful. You don't need to feel grateful towards him because he made a tiny move in your direction, if he was really serious he'd be trying incredibly hard including never mentioning or thinking about your weight ever again, but he's not doing that, he's just found a new excuse to use so he can carry on with his crap.

For what it's worth, I still think you need to get angry. Once you get angry you won't tolerate this any more. At the moment I think you're turning your anger on yourself and it's making you miserable (and ill too probably).

Original poster
Dior · 01/12/2007 08:27

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ginnedupumpkin · 01/12/2007 12:35

Sorry you feel so crap Dior. You are not a bitch at all, you are ill and depressed and trying hard to make your marriage work.
Your H is being selfish, just because you were off work sick doesn't mean you don't deserve a lie in. He agreed to let you lie in this morning and he should have stuck to that and maybe gone back to bed later.
Men are selfish - especially when they have 'man flu'. Us mere women can't possibly understand how bad that is can we .

Fubsy · 01/12/2007 22:03

That could have been a scene from my past, Dior, word for word.

southeastastra · 01/12/2007 22:04

i have no idea what this thread is about - but the title is fab

Original poster
Dior · 02/12/2007 20:06

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Dior · 03/12/2007 06:58

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MascaraOHara · 03/12/2007 09:15

Dior just caught up with this, it really sounds like you are having a rubbishy time. I hope that appointment for relate comes through soon.

Have you thought about asking you GP for counselling?

HappyWoman · 03/12/2007 09:35

oh dior

it sounds as if you are both trying to outdo each other. who works harder, who deserves the lie-in etc.

try not to get drawn into this negative cycle, you do not need to justify yourself for wanting a lie in - but he seems to need to.

I know where you are coming form though but i think it is a futile battle - men just cant seem to see how hard it is on working women.

try and look for the possitives in your life at the moment and hard as it is be happy with it.

Thinking about you at this very hard and stressful time, we are here for you though to get you trough the rest of the year.

Baffy · 03/12/2007 09:55

Dior

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

Original poster
Dior · 03/12/2007 10:35

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Dior · 03/12/2007 10:36

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MascaraOHara · 03/12/2007 13:37

I think closing the book at the end of 2007 and starting 2008 a fresh is a great idea