So how do you all feel about your mums?

[Youarestillintherunning]

I really can't relate with how people speak about their mums. I always hear things like "my mum is my best friend, I would be lost without her" and so on. This sounds really horrible, but at best I can just about tolerate mine for short periods of time. Am I a bad person? Do most people really get on with their mums?

For context, my mum voluntarily put me in care when I was 9, she then changed her mind and wanted me back but she wasn't allowed for "neglect." She made a lot of things up, said that stuff had happened to me that hadn't. She wasn't physically or emotionally available for most of my teenage years. Instead, I was kind of the parent. She would often try to kill herself, and call me to tell me she was going to do it. I'm still angry at her for all of this, I seem to have never moved past that point of being a teenager who is annoyed by everything their mum does.

Over the past few years she seems to have got her life together. She is angry at me that I still treat her like the same person she was, because she has apologised and taken responsibility for what happened. She said that these are my issues now and she wont take the blame for how I feel anymore.

I'm curious about other people's relationships with their mums, am I just a terrible child? I know that everyone makes mistakes but I can't move past hers.

I was absolutely extatic when my mother died. I only saw her for the sake of my kids.

She left my dad for another woman when I was 16 and basically forgot I existed. My dad was devastated so he forgot I existed. I was not worldly wise, so I had no idea and no help with living on my own.
When we reconnected, she was a total control freak but never made the effort to visit me.
She was diagnosed with mnd in 2012 and died in 2014.
I asked a counsellor why I was so happy, there was no guilt for this feeling. I no longer have to deal with toxic family members.

My mum was my best friend and rock she's in a care home with advanced dementia and it's devastating.

My mother ran off with my best friend's dad when I was 14. I spoke to her a couple of times. We've had a great relationship for the last 20 years. She is a lovely person and was a great help to me when I had my children. She always tells people what a great mum I am, that I've done well for myself and still calls me a good girl my heart breaks for her sometimes.

Your going to get the good and the bad here

Theres no right or wrong way to feel about someone

@3ormoredogs and @Wizzbangfizz I wasn't going to write as this thread brings back painful memories but happy to see I wasn't alone in not wanting a DD for the same reason. my fears was firsf what if I can't mother, as I didn't know how to. Or what if she turns out like her. I love her to bits.. . My mum was a narcissistic sociopath and an alcoholic. Pathological liar, had a way of twisting truths, when i was a child she was completely disconnected my grandparents raised me. Once I stayed at a friend and her dm gave a goodnight kiss to both of us, I was shocked, had never experienced that.. The only times at home, she'd just make everyone's lives a misery, start fights, get aggressive you name it. It doesn't help that unless I go into details (which I don't like doing) everyone assumes the issues are minor, and encourages reconciliation or thinks I'm being mean for excluding her from my life..

My mum suffered with depression throughout my childhood.Was very unhappy with her life which manifested into OCD.
She hated my dad with a passion and often told me as a child she wish he would crash his car and die.Like another poster said it was not knowing which mood she was in which was the worst sometimes it was good sometimes it was awful.
From the outside she probably looked like the perfect mum clean house home cooked meals and well dressed.But it was an unhappy home.
She divorced from my dad and remarried when I was in my teens and I lived with my dad.She was much happier then and I wished she had left years ago.
She can still be annoying as in she is always right but we get on a lot better and she adores my dd.She is a much better nan than a mother. to everyone with a difficult childhood.

Mum passed away quite a few years ago and I have mixed feelings. I don't think she was happy but was of the generation that put up with things. She married a bully and enabled his behaviour so we children had to put up with it too. We all grew up without any confidence or self-esteem and the blame has to lie at Dad's door but Mum isn't entirely without blame.

They stayed together because 'what will the neighbours think?' which is ridiculous. She deserved a peaceful widowhood but went first. My advice is to take heed of those early red flags. A moody, mercurial man might seem like an exciting boyfriend but can be a dreadful husband and your children will have life-long problems with bullying.

Can't stand mine. Unfortunately I see her quite regularly, but if I had a choice I'd be Nc. She has the morals of an alley cat, broke up three other marriages whilst married to my dad, without a thought for anyone. Is currently has a partner but is still actively seeing two other people.