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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

On-Line Dating - the biggest lies?

70 replies

DadAManger · 04/06/2021 11:43

Who is the most misleading person you have met via On-Line Dating and what was their fib/lie/massive misrepresentation?

Did you find out at the first meeting or did it takes months of an actual relationship?

There seems to be massive amounts of misrepresentation in dating on-line...

OP posts:
Umberellatheweatha · 04/06/2021 11:57

Ooh I'd have to think on that but it's very common that they've been a lot heavier than the pics. A few have bern considerably older looking too.

Roberta268 · 04/06/2021 12:00

He was a good 10 inches shorter in real life. I didn’t find out until we met.

Mermaidwaves · 04/06/2021 12:03

They all claim to want proper relationships on their profiles and when initially chatting, then when you meet them find it's not true...

I want regular sex with no strings

I don't have time for a relationship

I don't want a proper girlfriend right now

All a variation of this. If they want casual then fine but please be upfront about it! I feel like they're trying to draw you in by be misleading.

HappilyHadesBound · 04/06/2021 12:07

@Mermaidwaves

They all claim to want proper relationships on their profiles and when initially chatting, then when you meet them find it's not true...

I want regular sex with no strings

I don't have time for a relationship

I don't want a proper girlfriend right now

All a variation of this. If they want casual then fine but please be upfront about it! I feel like they're trying to draw you in by be misleading.

I would echo that...

I was very lucky to find an amazing, honest, caring guy though who had been as messed around by the other women he'd met as I had by the men. It does go both ways!

Athena3686 · 04/06/2021 12:12

Lying about their wife and kids actually pretending that they had a son of 15 when really had younger kids through FB was found out then still denied it .
I sent him a picture of his wife pregnant with their child dated a few years ago and had the balls to say she was his sister 😂😂 honestly that was the worst

wendywoopywoo222 · 04/06/2021 12:14

I dated a guy called James for three months. One day a picture of him pops up on people you may know on Facebook. His name was Martin. Nice pictures with his girlfriend and children.

Also met several men who were much shorter than they said. I'm 5ft 10 so can easily spot when they aren't. 🙄

Changednameforthis2021 · 04/06/2021 12:16

When I was with my now ex, my single friend spotted him on a dating website she was using.
We set up a fake profile to see for ourselves what he was upto on there.
He actually messaged the fake profile first Grin he was apparently single and had a child that the mother had never let him meet.
We were very much together (4 years at this point) and lived together and our child was 7 months old Confused
Suffice to say that was the end of that relationship!

DadAManger · 04/06/2021 12:17

@ wendywoopywoo222 - they used to say that men lied about height and income and women lied about age. Height seems like one you will discover very quickly, especially when you are 5ft 10!

Now is seems that lying/massive misrepresentation is widespread on all kinds of points?

OP posts:
ColaOlaLa · 04/06/2021 12:18

Not someone I met but I was looking on tinder as I downloaded it just to take a look and I saw a guy on there that I went to secondary school with who was 2 years above me in school but on tinder his age was 2 years below mine 😂

DK123 · 04/06/2021 12:52

There are a lot of 5'10" men who turn out to be 5'6"- 5'7" in real life

A lot of married and separated men claiming to be single and never married

They want to "take things slowly" I.e. shag around and refuse to make a go of trying a relationship

Talking things up - eg saying they live in a nice area, but they really live in a not very good area somewhere vaguely nearby. Exaggerating about their job status. Pretending to be very popular and to have loads of friends when they don't.

Claiming that their ex was controlling - a get out of jail free card, so you're never allowed to have an opinion or be hurt by anything they do, because that would make you "controlling" like their ex 🙄

BillMasen · 04/06/2021 13:22

Men lie about height and wealth as they (we?) think that’s what women value. (Not entirely wrong to think that)

Women lie about weight and age as they think that’s what men value. Again not entirely wrong.

Not all men, not all women.

Umberellatheweatha · 04/06/2021 13:25

Tbf the wealth thing though- I've never asked man how much he earned (unless he was a long term partner). And if he told me on a date I would think he was a right wanker.

funnylittlefloozie · 04/06/2021 13:28

A very charming, interesting, sexy man I met when OLD told me that his wife was dead. He told me what had happened to her, how devastated he and his son had been, etc.

She was not dead. They were still very much together. He was a raving lunatic.

angelcakebananabrain · 04/06/2021 13:30

Ten years older than his profile, and a different name!

I could tell he was older, and after a few meetings I deduced I was the OW and called it off, and I’m not sure why but I had a very strong feeling his name was fake. Recently updated my age preferences and there he was again, under his real age and name! I am a very trusting person, was a reminder to me that people aren’t necessarily who they say they are online.

supercee · 04/06/2021 13:31

A male friend of mine has his age as a good few years younger on Tinder. Makes me cringe.

B0G0F · 04/06/2021 13:32

Talking things up - eg saying they live in a nice area, but they really live in a not very good area somewhere vaguely nearby.

I did this. The reason was because I was attracting attention from men in my immediate area, and got a few stroppy messages after looking some of them up - 'You're only in Craptown, you could have at least said hi' was one of them.

The only person from nearby Nicetown who has asked me from which part of the nice town I'm from said 'You're in Craptown aren't you'

Anyoldnameshoulddo · 04/06/2021 13:38

“5’7”

GotBeatenUp · 04/06/2021 13:40

I was very lucky to find an amazing, honest, caring guy though who had been as messed around by the other women he'd met as I had by the men.
I managed to meet one of these without OLD.
Poor chap, all his exes were psychopaths.

GotBeatenUp · 04/06/2021 13:40

Including me.

GotBeatenUp · 04/06/2021 13:42

I am a very trusting person, was a reminder to me that people aren’t necessarily who they say they are
Me too. or I was.

ComeOnPeople · 04/06/2021 13:54

@Changednameforthis2021 omg that's made me feel so sick. You poor thing! i hope you're ok x

angelcakebananabrain · 04/06/2021 13:57

@GotBeatenUp

I am a very trusting person, was a reminder to me that people aren’t necessarily who they say they are Me too. or I was.
Thing is, for me it’s partly due to the fact that I live in a small community - if you’re on OLD, people will see, so I assume they’re telling the truth but no, they’re just that brazen!
FrumpyBetty · 04/06/2021 13:58

I sat on a date once with someone who said they were my age. We talked about school and he said about doing O levels. If he was my age he would have sat GCSE's so I called him out on it to his face. He had lied about his age and tbf to him fussed up straight away.

edwinbear · 04/06/2021 14:00

They’re struggling with their mental health and need time to ‘find themselves’ after they’ve shagged you a few times.Hmm

GotBeatenUp · 04/06/2021 14:16

I don't think I'll meet anyone suitable.

I'd rather be lonely that risk being beaten up again.

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