DH 'slipped' and fell on me

[Mistyplanet]

Don't know what to make of this whether im making a mountain out of a molehill or there was intention to hurt me. This evening I've come back from 5 days away with dc and my parents (holiday). Dh and i often don't get along but hes seemed fine this evening and generally making an effort. Dh was finishing settling our son upstairs but he wouldn't go to sleep so he brought him back downstairs hes 3. I hsd been relaxing on the sofa for 10 mins on my own. Dh came over as if he was going to sit down on the sofa but somehow fell so his full body weight went on my arm and shoulder. It really hurt so i shouted OW GET OFF ME! really loud. He kept saying he slipped but tbh i didnt see that happen i was looking at my phone so its possible but just seems weird to fall on me so hard like that. Also he didnt seem that apologetic just muttered sorry but kept saying he slipped and acted annoyed that i had shouted. After that he just sat next to me still really close not saying anything while i was sat in pain. I eventually got up and took my son to bed. Now i dont feel like going back down stairs for the evening and im going to sleep instead. Ive just started to wonder if he did this intentionally or what as it seems such a strange thing to happen and surely he should be more concerned that hed hurt me and apologetic? Please help.

I'm really surprised at the answers here!! This is such a weird situation, you sound very hostile towards him, and if he feels the same way towards you then he's probably not going to grovel around being overly sympathetic because you got hurt. He said sorry, maybe he feels that's enough.
Unless there is some huge abusive history you've left out, I think he say down wrong, sat on you and you reacted in a certain manner therefor he counteracted in similar.

Yes I agree you sound very hostile. If it’s like this/ hard work already is it worth it?

I would ask him why he seems to constantly go out of his way to hurt you like this if it’s not this, it’s the painful groping

It does seem like he’s trying to push a point?

If he slipped on you, he would have immediately got up and apologised to you, or even stopped his fall mid-way so he didn’t hit you. His body shouldn’t have been resting on top of yours to the extent that he crushed and trapped you like this. It’s not like he fell from a height. He’s right - an actual slip would be a non-issue but this seems like a power play by him instead

To be honest my above post sounds more dramatic than I intended as didn’t proof read and edit, but I still think this is a weird one

He doesn't sound very nice and you don't sound happy so maybe it's time to end it. I accidentally hurt my other half the other day, I shot calpol down his throat too hard with the syringe (don't ask) but I didn't mean to, he was instantly pissed off with me and acted like I meant to... which made me quite defensive, I really didn't mean to hurt him but he was making out I did mean it... I should have said sorry but I didn't 😬

In terms of hurting me in the past hes done things like groping me on my bum which has hurt but when ive told him to stop hes been irritated and complained that he cant touch me

I'm not sure from what you've written if he's grabbing your butt cheeks, or if you mean he's stuck his dry finger in your unlubed arse during sex, but either way his reaction to being told to stop sounds pathetically entitled and I can understand why you think he might have "fallen" on purpose.

Do you feel safe with him? Not just physically, but emotionally. If you were having to deal with a horrible crisis - eg a parent being seriously ill - could you count on him to be on your team, to take care of everything in your house so you could deal with the situation?

I can't see why you're with him. You sound like you don't like him and if you really think he fell on you on purpose (which sounds bizarre, I would never suspect that when someone fell, also I have genuinely tripped and fallen on DH when he's been sat on the couch) then leave him.

He slipped he apologised TBH I don't think anything he did would of been right .

I think you should be making plans to leave safely. Permanently.

Honestly you sound a bit paranoid, why did you shout?

If the thought even enters your head that he did this deliberately then it just shows that you dont trust him, theres a backstory and you should probably split.

He's hurt you before, you were thinking of ending the relationship?

Quit thinking and do it.

OP - I think this relationship needs to end. Maybe he fell on purpose, maybe he didn’t. It’s impossible to tell from what you’ve written. But what’s for sure is you don’t love him, or even like him. You only get one life, don’t spend it with someone you don’t like.

When I first read your post I was thinking that it's strange that if someone falls on you that you would assume it was deliberate, especially if you didn't see it happening.....most people would put this down to accident UNLESS there was a backstory.

However, your follow up posts sounds like there is quite a big back story if you were thinking of leaving already and he is often angry?

you often don't get on, you don't trust him.
Do you even have anything in common apart from your child?
Why are you wasting each other's time and creating a damaging atmosphere for your child?

@Mistyplanet

I suppose it could be possible- although it happens quite often with ds as he prefers to be breastfed to sleep and we are trying to get him out of it.

Your DS is 3 though? Breastfed? Any wonder your DH is narked. This sets the bedtime settling up to fail. If DS is breastfed still then surely you need to be present. The situation just sounds weird. You’re in the dark on here instead of communicating with DH?

He did it deliberately to punish you for going away for 5 days.

The violence will gradually get worse.

Just leave.

Incidently, why didn't he go away with you?

This gives me passive aggressive vibes. Like he was resentful of your time away with your DCs or something. My (D)Fwould get extra rough with me and my sister whenever he was upset or had a tiff with my DM. He would play fight with us but and hurt us and I knew he was doing it intentionally but it took becoming an adult to look back and see that there were underlying issues there.

I think it would be rather unusual of him to deliberately trip and try and fall on you. Do you really think he did this? I mean, none of us were there so we can't possibly know but it seems like an odd thing to do

You're clearly not happy in the relationship though so it's probably time to split.

My exH once accidentally hurt me quite badly but didn’t apologise, he took the view that as he hadn’t meant to do it he didn’t need to say sorry. It was the final reason he became my ex.

Having young children is hard. Sounded like he wanted attention or was tired from looking after your child. If he's a good man learn to forgive.

I'd sleep on it. Lack of sleep can make you do strange things, think strange things. Sleep on it and talk to him about it tomorrow. Not when you're both exhausted.

He was trying to see your phone. In your post you said you couldn’t see if he tripped because you were on your phone couple that with his texts to you now.
He didn’t slip, he did it on purpose to see your phone/make you drop your phone so he could see what you were doing.

Sorry it does all sound a bit weird I know... ds isnt 3 i just changed the age so it wouldnt be identifying. We are together because we have several dc. Ds is the youngest. I agree i do sound hostile towards dh and maybe am looking for things hes doing wrong. Just feel our relationship has been going badly for sometime and hes often angry although not physically abusive. He does things like stonewalling and argues with me over small things. I feel he's let me down several times badly like not being supportive enough in my pregnancies and births. For example not being there for the birth of our 1st child. I suppose all these things have caused my love to gradually dwindle away. I just feel hes not caring or considerate towards me. I did love him in the beginning. Im in a difficult situation. I dont want to disrupt my dcs lives or hurt DH. Looks like we will be heading for divorce anyway as dh has noticed im distant and just now weve spoken and he says to tell him what im thinking. Ive said we arent getting along well and he agrees. Im scared to hurt dc and be a single mum. Thanks for everyone's replies.

@pompomsugar that makes sense- it could have been that...