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Original poster

Is changing a phone PIN suspicious

67 replies

ladyfairy · 31/05/2021 18:39

As above really, on its own is changing a phone PIN from one your OH knows to one they don't suspicious?

OP posts:
Onthedunes · 31/05/2021 18:41

Can be.

In my experience it is usually something to do with their phone that sparks off further investigations.

StillWeRise · 31/05/2021 18:42

how come they knew it in the first place?
My OH has occasionally told me his for a reason eg so I can use his phone if he's driving but I have no expectation of knowing his PINs and passwords. Ande we have had a joint bank account that both our salaries are paid into, so it's not a trust issue, it's a boundary issue.
In normal circs, that is.

Tetrixxs · 31/05/2021 18:43

I’ve just changed mine as it was a word but with a mask (no Face ID) it’s irritating me when I pay with Apple pay.

So bot always!

GappyValley · 31/05/2021 18:44

It would definitely set off my spidey senses...
There is no legitimate reason other than wanting to close off any avenue of wanting the partner to be able to check the phone

Original poster
ladyfairy · 31/05/2021 18:44

I'm trying to think of rational reasons why but I can't come up with any

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 31/05/2021 18:49

I changed mine when I realised my ex was going through it for evidence I was screwing random men in the ten minutes I was outside his jurisdiction on the way back from school. I realised because I had a profuse apology over FB Messenger from somebody I had gone to infant school with for offending me and promising he would never tag me in an old school photo again. Yup. He'd sent somebody I hadn't seen since I was 17 years old (so over 15 years) an abusive message pretending to be me.

It frequently 'locked' for no apparent reason when I went to the toilet afterwards.

FieldOverFence · 31/05/2021 18:51

I have to change mine every so often - its a device i use for work, and one of the security rules is that we have to change the PIN every 3 months or so .... its a royal pain in the arse to remeber actually
Any chance its that ?

thecognoscenti · 31/05/2021 18:56

@ladyfairy

I'm trying to think of rational reasons why but I can't come up with any
Because he/she wants to? Some people just like a degree of privacy?
premium77 · 31/05/2021 19:10

@ladyfairy

I'm trying to think of rational reasons why but I can't come up with any
Perhaps because they know you frequently breach their privacy and go through their phone
Original poster
ladyfairy · 31/05/2021 19:15

We have been together a long time, have shared accounts passwords for things.

I genuinely don't understand what people need privacy on their phones for

OP posts:
SuperstoreFan · 31/05/2021 19:15

@ladyfairy

I'm trying to think of rational reasons why but I can't come up with any
Because it's their phone and they can do what they want with it.
Original poster
ladyfairy · 31/05/2021 19:16

@FieldOverFence

I have to change mine every so often - its a device i use for work, and one of the security rules is that we have to change the PIN every 3 months or so .... its a royal pain in the arse to remeber actually Any chance its that ?
It's not a work phone so doesn't have security rules on it
OP posts:
Blankspace101 · 31/05/2021 19:17

Nope, not suspicious at all.

SuperstoreFan · 31/05/2021 19:18

@ladyfairy

We have been together a long time, have shared accounts passwords for things.

I genuinely don't understand what people need privacy on their phones for

So you snoop?

You snoop on their text conversations etc?

If I'm texting a friend about a personal matter I would be fucking livid if their husband 'didn't understand what they needed privacy for' and read my conversation with my friend.

People are entitled to privacy.

LindaEllen · 31/05/2021 19:20

I absolutely hate people having access to my phone, even DP. I have nothing to hide, but it's mine. So he doesn't know my code, and if found out, I would change it.

Original poster
ladyfairy · 31/05/2021 19:21

No I don't snoop, but there are times that we genuinely need to use each others phone, hence the openness of PINs

OP posts:
Original poster
ladyfairy · 31/05/2021 19:26

Thought right now I am tempted to snoop as the PIN has been changed!

OP posts:
saraclara · 31/05/2021 19:44

If I'm texting a friend about a personal matter I would be fucking livid if their husband 'didn't understand what they needed privacy for' and read my conversation with my friend.

People are entitled to privacy.

That. My phone is where I text my friends and where one of them shares their personal distress with me. It's where I Google health related things that I might not be ready to share yet. It's where I post on mumsnet and another forum, and no, I don't want my family reading what I post.

Privacy is important to me, and I don't trust people who think it's unimportant and can't understand why people should mind when someone breaches it.

Sparechange · 31/05/2021 19:49

Because this is MN you are going to get a load of responses saying people in relationships are entitled to secrecy and don’t owe anyone an explanation for anything, ever

But in the real world, you only suddenly change a password if you suddenly have something you don’t want someone else to read

Original poster
ladyfairy · 31/05/2021 19:56

@Sparechange

Because this is MN you are going to get a load of responses saying people in relationships are entitled to secrecy and don’t owe anyone an explanation for anything, ever

But in the real world, you only suddenly change a password if you suddenly have something you don’t want someone else to read

Thank you, I find it odd that people may not want to share health related things with their partners of many years.

So thank you for confirming what I had thought

OP posts:
Original poster
ladyfairy · 31/05/2021 19:58

@saraclara

If I'm texting a friend about a personal matter I would be fucking livid if their husband 'didn't understand what they needed privacy for' and read my conversation with my friend.

People are entitled to privacy.

That. My phone is where I text my friends and where one of them shares their personal distress with me. It's where I Google health related things that I might not be ready to share yet. It's where I post on mumsnet and another forum, and no, I don't want my family reading what I post.

Privacy is important to me, and I don't trust people who think it's unimportant and can't understand why people should mind when someone breaches it.

I think you're missing the point, I only ever go on his phone if for example my phone was low battery and needed to call someone, not to sit and look through every email and WhatsApp.

He knows this, that is why I find it odd it has now been changed

OP posts:
SuperstoreFan · 31/05/2021 20:09

Ask him then?

Although it's his phone and he can obviously do what he wants.

I'm guessing that he's unaware that you know that the PIN has changed? Otherwise if he was in the room when you went to 'call someone' he would have said something.

FoxgloveBee · 31/05/2021 20:27

No I wouldn't say it's suspicious.

I have been with someone who looked through my phone frequently and I would change my password when I found out. I had nothing to hide but I hate my privacy being invaded.

How did you find out the passcode was changed?

JM10 · 31/05/2021 20:31

I changed mine when my children learnt it

mindutopia · 31/05/2021 20:45

It isn't necessarily an issue. I have a PIN and facial recognition on my phone. Dh has no idea what the PIN is and I'd be weirded out if he asked me for it. I have nothing to hide, but can't see why he'd want to know. I do know his PIN, only because it's the same one he's used for the past 20 years (it's also his debit card PIN). He's a creature of habit. I've never looked at his phone and wouldn't notice that the PIN had even changed.

In the absence of anything else weird, I don't necessarily think it's too concerning. Though I have to say, if I felt dh was preoccupied with what was on my phone, I might change my PIN too just for the sake of it. It would make me feel uncomfortable.

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