Hate being single when the weather's nice

[fedup078]

Not sure if this is just one of my weird quirks but I hate hate hate being single when it's glorious outside
Actually even when I'm not single and at a loose end I get in a bit on a panic, sitting in all day just seems such a waste

Split with dh 3 months ago and I think this weekend is the first time it's hit me that I'm single yet again. I don't want him back and I don't think i even want a relationship, just having available friends would stop me feeling like this
All my friends have families and I don't want to be a 3rd wheel
I do intend to look for new hobbies etc but events are still a bit slow opening back up again
Is it just me who feels like this? I know Xmas etc can be hard when single too but the nice weather really brings it home for me

Why does being single mean you have to sit in all day?

I get it, I think its company rather than a relationship you're missing though.
Personally, this weather is the worst to be in a relationship for. It's way too hot for any kind of touching and kids All get irritable by early evening because they've run around covered in sun cream all day.

Take a book, get an ice cream and sit somewhere nice outside. Your mood will lift, even if it doesn't fully fill the void.

I'm sorry to hear of your relationship breakdown

I think it's inevitable to feel a bit lonely on bank holidays and weekends when you know everyone is doing stuff with their DP/family. My aunt has been single since she was widowed in the early 90s and she's said since then that she hates bank holiday weekends, because for her it's three days of being on her own. If it's any consolation to you, just because people are partnered doesn't mean they're doing anything nice today. I have a DH and two DC and this morning I gardened and this afternoon I'm going to read my book on my sun lounger under the shady tree in my garden! Enjoy the sun and the peace 🌞

I know what you mean OP. Being single doesn't mean you have to sit inside all day, but when you don't want to be single it can make you feel very self-conscious of being on your own whilst everyone else is out with partners and families.

Being single you do everything on your own anyway. Yes, I could go to the park and read my book there, but I read my book anyway because I don't have anyone else to talk to in the evening. Sometimes it would just be nice to have someone to go and do something with, instead of doing things solo every day.

@Lockheart exactly this
I do had a ds but it's his dads weekend to have him
If I had a large group of single friends this wouldn't bother me in the slightest
I need to start planning ahead
I've booked a night away with my only other single friend for my next child free weekend

Same! Not sure how much consolation it will be, but you're not alone.

This is my first bank holiday single. Hating it tbh. I’ve tried keeping busy, mown the lawn, put a few plants in, but it’s not even 3pm & I’ve run out of things to busy myself with.

All friends are married, out with family etc.

My split is very early days, so spending a lot of time going over everything in my head, books or tv are not enough of a distraction.

Get online dating and arrange a drink in a pub garden? The date doesn't have to go anywhere and maybe you'll meet someone nice, friend or otherwise.

My partner is at work all day until late so I'm spending the day alone. Total bliss, in the garden with a good book and a glass of pims. Had something delicious for lunch and bonus that I didn't have to share! Get out and enjoy!

Yep, I totally get what you're saying. In the city, nice weather brings out the couples and families too I always seem to notice. My dc are with their dad too. If it's any consolation, my married friends are thoroughly fed up with their husbands after the lockdowns! They envy me...

You're not alone. I'm a true introvert and rarely get bored but I do get somewhat lonely. I actually prefer the work week because at least i'm busy all day and when I do have down time I"m soooo grateful for it because I just want to relax and not be bothered. But weekends all day long for two days, i sometimes get lonely. ANd i don't want to go out by myself and see so many people coupled up. So I just stay in. I've become a serious homebody these days.

I totally get you OP and I think tbh people in relationships just don't understand.
It's not about having nothing to do. We can all find things to keep busy. It's the being alone. Going to a park by yourself in my opinion just rubs salt in the wound to the sense of loneliness. I'd rather be lonely at home than have my nose rubbed in scenes of families out together.
Bank holidays are particularly hard as people are away / with their families so it can feel extra lonely.
I've also had coupled up friends say ooh I'd love to have the weekend alone. Would you? Would you really?
I have no real suggestions OP other than plan ahead and try to establish some friendships with other singletons. I found the MeetUp Apphelpful for that.
As someone with no siblings or parents to fall back on, I really do empathise with you OP. I hope you're feeling better x

@sunflower1201 with all due respect you're not alone all weekend, are you? Your partner's at work today so you're enjoying some me time. But he'll be back later. You're not going to spend the night alone, wake up alone etc. It makes a BIG difference!

Thanks everyone
If actually does help to know you're not alone as sometimes it does feel like that. If I knew people who felt the same in rl then I wouldn't be in this predicament
I've spent all day in the garden and I know how lucky I am to have a garden
I downloaded the Meetup app a few weeks ago but there is absolutely nothing going on anywhere near me at the moment but hopefully it'll pick up soon

I think the thing is that you have to get good at being happy with your own company. And I say that whether you’re single or in a relationship. It’s a life skill. I know it can get a bit much if you’re a social person though. So I offer you solidarity OP - it sounds like you’re planning things to look forward to which is great.

[quote Macaroni46]@sunflower1201 with all due respect you're not alone all weekend, are you? Your partner's at work today so you're enjoying some me time. But he'll be back later. You're not going to spend the night alone, wake up alone etc. It makes a BIG difference! [/quote]
Fair enough, I don't see him at all in the week with different shift patterns but I understand your point 🤷🏼‍♀️

Weirdly, I don’t mind the sun. I’m quite happy with a book or a podcast.

The winter was bloody awful though. That’s when I want someone.

I’m so sorry you’re down. It helps me to go out in the mornings, when it’s usually quieter, and you don’t notice the couples.

I hope your luck changes soon

Think of someone making you feel irritated and exhausting you everyday, then you might treasure your alone time. It’s peaceful time. It’s please yourself time. It’s improve yourself time. It’s time spent on YOU, which can be a wonderful thing.

I say this as a recently single person.

@fedup078 if it makes you feel any better today I actually wanted alone time on a garden chair whilst doing a word search rather than run after a toddler in a hot sweaty state. The grass is always greener x

@Macaroni46

I totally get you OP and I think tbh people in relationships just don't understand. It's not about having nothing to do. We can all find things to keep busy. It's the being alone. Going to a park by yourself in my opinion just rubs salt in the wound to the sense of loneliness. I'd rather be lonely at home than have my nose rubbed in scenes of families out together. Bank holidays are particularly hard as people are away / with their families so it can feel extra lonely. I've also had coupled up friends say ooh I'd love to have the weekend alone. Would you? Would you really? I have no real suggestions OP other than plan ahead and try to establish some friendships with other singletons. I found the MeetUp Apphelpful for that. As someone with no siblings or parents to fall back on, I really do empathise with you OP. I hope you're feeling better x

I had several years of this between my marriages and it is horrible . I used Meet Up but I also did on line dating as I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life alone . I remember thinking maybe next Halloween, Xmas, whatever will be different and it happened . When the weather is nice you feel like everyone will be having fun at a BBQ or something . They're not but I get it .

Totally get it, the world is not set up for singles.

I think you should organise to do stuff you really enjoy when you have a weekend on your own. Read a really good book, binge watch a good series, order a delicious takeaway, get started on a craft project, go shopping. Most people tend not to treat themselves when they're on their own.

I get it, I feel the same. When its hot weather I imagine my ex being out on the beach (we are coastal) and just being around girls having fun while I'm either at work or at home with out son. But I have to remember I broke up with him for a reason and I can enjoy the weather on my own.

You need to actively make friends, I'm single but I was out Saturday with my sister, a friend came on Sunday, met my parents for lunch yesterday and met my sister for lunch today as dds at their dad's til tomorrow. In between I've been topless sunbathing in the garden so if I do meet someone I'm tan line free

I have felt like this in the past too. I think in part and depending on where you live, you hear so much more noise, voices, laughs carrying on the breeze. It amplifies loneliness.