Aged 30, what would your dating age range be?

[Maria53]

Im 29 and I'll be 30 in about six months. I've had some great relationships and some not so good/experiences with commitment phobic guys in their 20s.

In my head, I have this idea that once I hit 30 it'll be no more immature guys in 20s so 30+ only. What do people think about having that as a rule do to speak? Would 40 be too old/potentially a guy just after a younger woman?

All depends on you personally I think.
I'm 28 and partner is 27.

If we were to split I'd probably try to aim for 5 years either side.

disclaimer - i have no experience - but id go 25 - 40

also boys are - on the whole- immature

I guess I just haven't had any long term luck with anyone younger than me or any guy in my 20s so far. I would very reluctant date a guy in his 20s again as I just think most of them aren't in the commitment headspace?

The last guy that asked me out was 19... I look younger than my age which is part of the issue I think.

18-99 😜

I'd be looking in the 28-35 area, but not set in stone.

28-45

@RAOK I have some standards

45 huh @UhtredRagnarson? Not too old/bordering on dating the young woman for that reason?

Also nice username

I'd go for roughly 30 - 38 probably.

I wouldn't want blokes much younger - I could forsee problems that I might want to start a family and they were still in no rush. I wouldn't want more than about 8 years older or it feels like too much of a gap, particularly as you do get older.

That's my preference, however. I'm also basing it on being 56 - with a DH of 64. It worries me that I have probably got another 10 years to retirement, and at that point DH will be 75 and I wonder whether his health will be good enough for us to enjoy our retirement.

45 huh @UhtredRagnarson? Not too old/bordering on dating the young woman for that reason?

If I ever get the chance to find out, I’ll let you know!

At 30 I’d go 25-38. Because 40+ is a psychological barrier and the under 25s aren’t ready to commit, which for a 30yo woman is a big thing. If you want kids you only have maybe 6-7 years to get married.

Honestly I'm 41 and I haven't met a great man in his 40's. I wish I'd made more of an effort in my 30's to meet someone as I wouldn't have the confidence to date down in age now but the men I meet in their 40's haven't been particularly nice and I can see lots are stuck in there ways. The people I have met have been two who were very controlling one spoke to me a couple of times like I was his daughter, and the other was very offended that I went home after our first date and kept going on about it and referring to me 'running off' made me feel like I had offended him by not staying over and then one who was not controlling but a negging piece of shit wanted me to feel embarrassed all of the time tried to create insecurities to rip me about. I don't think men age well.

I'm not really one of those people who feels they must have kids to feel fulfilled. If I meet someone I really love and I think would be a good father, I think i would naturally want to have kids with that person.

@MadMadMadamMim yeah that would be my concern with 20s guys. They take longer to mature as it is. I already have a few friends in their late 30s/early 40s as I'm quite mature for my age. I have great friends in my 20s but on the whole I find them harder to be around

Well the (unwritten & totally arbitrary) rules say that you should only date people as young as half your age plus 7 after the age of 15.. so at 30 it’s 22 minimum & as for older..you’ll have plenty of people saying their DH is 20 years older etc & I’m sure that can work, but as you age that gap becomes more prominent, but if you love someone it’s not that relevant.

I’ve met 25 year old men who seem like middle aged men trapped in a younger body & I know men who at 50 aren’t they different to their 18 year old numpty selves. It’s really down to the individual, you could meet an incredibly immature 40 year old who wants a crazy social life & to get wasted every weekend & never settle down or meet the love of your life who is 25 wants nothing more than to settle down & have kids & be the perfect husband (presuming that’s what you want?). Players, cheats, & fools come in all shapes, sizes & ages - as do lovely, kind, funny, sexy men. In summary I’d stop thinking about the age & start working out your non-negotiable qualities in a partner & go from there!

Same age and about 7 years older. I'd have a no child policy though.

I'd go up to 40/45 but not younger! X

30-40

22-38 so eight years either side for me. I don’t think you can generalise about age/maturity. I was more than ready to commit when I was under 25, for example, as evidenced by the fact I did commit (and the man I committed to was also under 25). I’m less likely to commit now than I was then to be honest (nearly 40 now, and higher standards!)

@rhowton

Same age and about 7 years older. I'd have a no child policy though.

Good point @rhowton. I probably would too. Which again night affect age range.

Plus if he is over 40 I might be wondering why he hasn't settled down before? Is that not a concern?

27 - 38

There is a 7 year age gap with my DH
He is younger although most people assume I am (and utterly amazing)

We met when he was 28 I was 35.
We only notice the gap if we reminisce about kids tv shows.

I dont think ypu know ypurself until ypu are out of your mid 20s but online older guys tend to have more weirdness going on and are single for a reason.

After 2 years of tinder hell I decided to widen the pool and go younger. A few of my friends did similar and w met great guys!

I think early 20s would feel like jailbait for me at this point. Not for a serious relationship anyway

@LivingLaVidaCovid do you mind me asking if for you and your friends this has caused any issues in terms of having kids? The guy being younger I mean.

I also had a no child policy.

As a heads up as i dated older i met more divorced guys.
All the divorced guys I dated who were either divorced by 18months or less or finalising divorce were utter head cases seeking a distraction from pain and essentially used me as a distriction/salve. In different variations they love bombed and future faked me but it always ended as in a hot mess train wreck.

This is apparently very common with divorcing men particularly those that didn't end it themselves. I stupidly had no idea and wasted a lot of time effort and gin.

[quote Maria53]@LivingLaVidaCovid do you mind me asking if for you and your friends this has caused any issues in terms of having kids? The guy being younger I mean.[/quote]
Not at all!

I was pretty upfront
And he knew going into it he cpuldnt datt about for ages. We moved in after a year and bought and house /got engaged at 2 years. We got married last year and are trying for a baby now at 38.

Honestly once you hit your 30s age is kind of irrelevant as you are all same lifestage.
My best friend is pregnant with her first at 39 and so is DHs best friend and wife (31 and 32)
We are all friends and socialise together.

*couldn't fart about for ages

What a typo!!!