I broke up with my boyfriend of two years yesterday.
We've had issues for a long time now. We bickered A LOT, and the small rows over the smallest of things turned into days.
He is a very insecure, childish man which led him to be jealous, controlling and he'd sulk after we'd have the tiniest spat (like, if I didn't hear him say bye, he'd assume I was ignoring him and leave for the office and sulk until bedtime.) and I've been in a state of confusion, it feels like he makes stories up about stuff I've done sometimes.
We have had many chats over the last 12 months and I'd fedback that I didn't feel he wanted to talk to me, didn't feel very affectionate, feels like he hates me. Six weeks ago, I said I'd had enough of the constant bickering and if we had one more major conflict we needed to have a chat. He got angry, and blamed it on me but we left it as that.
Short-term, I'm happy and comfortable. But after a small spat this week, that turned huge. When he came home last night, I said "I think we need to break up".
He initially said I'd not tried hard enough, and listed off all the reasons I'd done wrong and he'd done right. E.g., he'll say let's book to do something, "have a look at stuff you want to do", then blame me when nothing gets organised, I'm quick to organise things with friends/family/work colleagues. I'm affectionate with everyone but him etc etc etc.
Then, he moved to be (what felt like) crocodile tears telling me "no, this isn't it". Then actual tears, and he was balling his eyes out and begged me not to go. It was horrible.
I'm staying at my Mums until tomorrow, then I said we will sort out "stuff".
I miss him and I want to get back because ultimately I love him and I just want to cuddle him. He kept crying "one more chance, if you loved me you'd give it one more chance" and it's breaking me but the foundations of the relationships are broken, I can't keep bickering it makes me so unhappy. He has the same attitude with his children (9yo & 12yo) that we see bi-weekly, like blaming them when they've got no clean underwear left, or simply just not plan to do anything fun with them. Him and his boy will watch football, and leave his little girl to watch bored, she hates footy.
He says we can fix it, and I want to fix it but I also know that this isn't the right relationship.
Am I being daft? I don't know what to do. I just want to feel his warmth and be happy with him.
I guess my real question is, how do I decide whether to give it another chance?