Need new friends, too tired and time-poor, is it too much to want company?

[clucks]

Of course, I feel that all mumsnetters are my friends, but I am short of parent-friends.

I fell pregnant very soon after getting married and moved house soon after the birth. This has meant things have changed for me in a very short space of time. I feel that I don't have any friends who have children of a similar age (or any children at all). Those that do, live too far away and have started afresh elsewhere. I don't unfortunately have that courage or the time. I haven't had to 'make' friends for a long time. The friends I had before were all single, wealthy and glamorous (but insecure about biological clock etc) and we have very little in common. In fact, they now mock my figure and baggy clothes and the fact that I don't go to bars/clubs anymore. I am envious of their sex lives and abundant cash.

DS goes to nursery and his best friend's mum is now my friend and we have been to their house once. But she works hard too and has as little energy as me and we just worry each other about the standards at the nursery and exorbitant fees.

To complicate matters, I have elderly parents nearby to look after and am constantly rushing around. I don't go to toddler groups because DS spends 10 hours at the nursery each day he is there and probably gets enough toddler contact.

Last year I met a girl with a child like mine in the park and socialised with her, when I say socialise, we went to the ball pool and parks together. She was very good for me as very positive and optimistic person, I hope she felt that I was good for her too! She is now moving away and I will lose my only local friend who is a mum.

I am now expecting no. 2 and feel that I really should have friends who I can see who have children/expectant. It shouldn't be too much to ask, afterall I have moved countries 3 times, travelled the world alone, picked up/dropped men. But can I be bothered to find ordinary companionship (of the healthiest kind)?

Living in London does make it difficult as people are different here and I am not very cliquey.
Some of you may suggest that I may not be bothered enough to make an effort. I suspect that too, but where do you start.

Please be honest with suggestion. Feeling a bit lost and lonely?

Clucks - glad you're coming on the 18th!

Are we still meeting in Highbury Fields on Wednesday (16th)? Just so's I don't go up to complete strangers...

hi north londoners - I'm a bit confused re: meet up (only logon Mon-Weds because I'm at work) - is it 16th or 18th?? I can't come if it's the wednesday

As far as I'm aware, it's the 16th as Tuesdays & Wednesdays are the days I don't work...oh Bundle, are we never to meet - we've just had an exchange about the Railway Children on another thread!

I know! sob! my days are pretty fixed and if I did take off some time from work when dd is in the nursery, it would be 100% quality ME ME ME time! sorry to miss you...railway children & all

would any of the other north londoners like a later meet up on a Thurs/Friday?

Still up for meeting on Wed 16th, as am working Thursday and Friday
But we can always meet again another day so that others can join in?
Am a bit worried about possibility of torrential rain and gales ( which they say are on the way)
If necessary perhaps we can decamp to nearby cafe? Will try and be there as close to 3 as possible if it looks like rain!

I will be there more toward 3:30 as ds tends to nap mid-afternoon. Not sure what to suggest if it's raining...Gill Wing cafe on St Paul's Rd? Not sure there's much room for buggies tho. There's also The Grove cafe on the corner of Highbury Grove & St Paul's Rd. (The orange one).

Yes, I'll be there definitely. Was wondering today about what to do in case of foul weather. Which is the biggest cafe ie. more buggy friendly - Gill Wing or the orange one? I'm free all week Bundle so I'd be up for another meeting on a Thursday or Friday anyway!

Chinchilla it take guts to do it - so go for it. Sorry if I'm backtracking if you miss a couple of days it's like the whole cyber talk has moved to another dimension :0. You lot don't know how right you're about school, I changed schools a few times and initially found it hard as I never seemed to have the right accent to start with! Wish I could come to your meet but it's just not possible at the moment, hope you have a smashing time. Just another thought about meeting other people through your sprogs. Where I live they also have Gymbabes/Tumble tot classes lots of apparatus for ds & dd to play on although can be expensive. Also Musical Minis (classes for babies and children based on musical instruments). Several of our local libraries also have free reading sessions (where the children read, sing and draw). Also ask your HV if they have a list of local parent & toddler groups, my HV had a list of about 9 groups which were all very different. One particular group I used to attend gave everyone breakfast on arrival as well as toys, play and singing (not compulsory) they also had a craft session where the adults and older children had the option of making allsorts of odd items. All for 50p a time!

Any of you who fancy schlepping over to the over side of town should come on down to the W London get together on Friday - more the merrier.

MandyD I'd love to. Bit pushed this week with really exciting things to do like renew parking permit...but will do that very soon

In view of dodgy weather and even dodgier forecast for tomorrow I think we might need to change the venue from the great outdoors. How about the Playhouse (indoor ball park)on the corner of Highbury Grove and Highbury New Park? There is a charge to get in but its only a couple of quid and you can get coffee there and its somewhere the children can let off steam?

Is that the boys' school "old gymnasium", the 1 storey white building?

Happy to meet in the Playhouse ( it is the one next to the Boy's school) but will emmabee know that we will meet there? On one of her messages she says that she doesn't work Tuesday or Wednesday, so she may not pick up the change of venue- shall I pass by the sandpit, pick her up and meet all of the rest of you at the Playhouse?
Any probs (or if Emmabee reads this message) then call me on my mobile 07813 077801

Well, looks like the weather will be pretty poor tomorrow so here we go for the Playhouse then! I asked Mumsnet if they can pass on my email address to Emmabee regarding change of venue, but if her work addy is the only one she gave the chances of the msg getting thro' are slim I guess.

That would be great Beejay if you could go on an Emmabee-hunt on your way. I'll take your mobile number with me too if that's ok. I will be travelling by bus from Finsbury Park and aiming to be at the Playhouse for 3.00 - just look out for the dodgy trainers! See you all tomorrow.

great mandyd see you there ( and the rest of you!)

Nice to meet you and your DD, Beejay. She really seemed to enjoy the Playhouse and was very agile and fearless for her age I thought!

Charlie's ear seemed to be better by the time we got to Highbury Barn on the bus, and by the time we got to Finsbury Park he was his normal self again. At first he said he never wanted to go there again, but this evening he said he would. So we may well see you there again? Post on this thread next Tuesday if you want to go!

I get the awful feeling that Barca and Emmabee may have been there at the Playhouse all along and we missed them. Let us know what happened you two...

Well, I managed to go to my second week of the club yesterday! Only 3 of the mums from the first week were there, but it was nice to chat again. There were some new people, and others who had been before, but not last week. So, it was a bit like the first week in that I had to chat to lots of new people, which was hard. At one point I did find myself looking around at all these mini groups of women chatting, and felt a bit out of things. However, I made a real effort to get involved in a chat that was already ongoing, obviously making sure that I didn't seem pushy!!!

I asked about the clearing up, but was told that there was no need, as the helpers do it...phew! No offence given last week luckily!

Funnliy enough, two women who were new yesterday turned out to be people that I sort of knew. One was from school, and one was the wife of an ex-colleague of mine. I had met her in the pub after work, but never spoken to her. So, that made things a bit easier, as there was some common ground to talk about.

My ds was a bit calmer yesterday too. He started off being a bit of a maniac, and I thought 'oh no, he's off again', but then he noticed a boy a few months younger than him. This little boy seemed to have taken a fancy to my dh, and kept crawling after him. My ds seemed to reciprocate the interest, and the boy's mother (the wife of the colleague) and I made jokes about them being the leaders of the pack, leading all the others astray!

So, will go back after half term and try to relax!

Oh no, I missed you all!
You're right, i can only log on to mumsnet when I'm at work, so missed the change of venue (shame, 'cos it's 2 minutes walk from my house), then ds slept forever in the afternoon & I really wasn't sure who was who or what was what...

BUT I'd love to try to meet up again...any takers?!

HI Emmabee
What a shame you missed us. I wandered round highbury fields sandpit for a bit asking mothers of children with blond curly hair if their names were emma, but alas none of them were...Luckily there were only two likely suspects so not too embarassing!
Anyway never mind why don't you give me a call on the phone and we can arrange something- saves all this tricky internet business
My number is XXXX

Beth (AKA beejay)

PS MandyD It was lovely to meet you too and hope your son's head is better? Am away next week but am sure we'll see you at the playhouse another day- you're right dd did love it there

PPS What happened to Barca?

Thanks Beejay.
My number is XXXX

girlies - probably being relaly paranoid, but I wouldn't put my moby number on the internet - too many nutters out there. Tech can take it off if you want.

relaly? Really?

good idea- who do I contact?