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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No fool like an old fool

66 replies

Sandra15 · 26/05/2021 10:36

My uncle who is now 68 became involved with a woman in her 50s about three years ago. Rather glamorous, had a decent job herself, working as a court clerk which she seemed good at. Fond of posting pictures of herself in soft focus shots on Facebook, and a bit of a self-promoter. Nothing sexual happened between them, but they did meet in person and he met her elderly parents and her sister. He actually showed me emails he had sent to her, about how he would like her to wear glamorous lingerie and hold her in bed (yes, I know, cheese). He also bought her a huge diamond ring from Boodles, and bought a house IN HER SOLE NAME FOR CASH in Cheshire, with the agreement that he would move in with her and her parents.

After the purchase had gone through she dumped him. Not immediately, but after a while, and she kept the house as it was in her name. That was the end of that, even though my uncle sent some protracted emails to her and her family.

Now, he has discovered from this woman's sister that that in January 2020 she sold the house and used the money that she received to purchase another property in Cheshire. She never discussed this with him at all and he's miffed.

He's asked me what I think. I don't think I dare tell him!

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 26/05/2021 11:11

He bought her a house in her name.

The ‘relationship’ did not progress, they’ve parted ways.

She can do what she likes with her property.

Nobody held a gun to his head and made him spend money on his girlfriend.

The time for asking what you think is long past: he needs to move on and hopefully he’s learned from this experience.

Sandra15 · 26/05/2021 11:31

@frazzledasarock I think she saw him coming. He had built up quite a lot of money through investments etc over the years. He's been absolutely stupid and I told him that at the time! I expected he wouldn't speak to me any more! You're right, of course, but he wasn't really thinking with his brain!

OP posts:
Ughmaybenot · 26/05/2021 11:34

Well you’ve summed it up in your title really... he acted like a complete idiot. That’s on him. It is entirely her choice what to do with a property solely owned by her. Uncle needs to move on I’m afraid.

YouShouldLeave · 26/05/2021 11:36

Well good for her, i’ll say!

leftout1 · 26/05/2021 11:38

I think you're right - there's no fool like an old fool. Tale as old as time.

edwinbear · 26/05/2021 11:47

My father fell for a similar line. Left mum for an old gf he found through Friends Reunited. He died 6 months later from leukaemia he told her he was suffering from, having altered his will, ownership of the marital home and beneficiary of his pension in the mistresses favour. After a 2y legal battle this woman walked off with c.£500k for a 6 month fling, she played her cards right.

FlyNow · 26/05/2021 13:08

I can't feel sorry for him. I'm sure there were plenty of women his age available but no, he got greedy and wanted a 20 years younger women that looked more attractive in lingerie.

If asked for my opinion I'd just say "oh well, that's relationships for you, at least you enjoyed it while it lasted" which I'm sure he did.

billy1966 · 26/05/2021 13:36

A fool and his money is easily parted.

billy1966 · 26/05/2021 13:36

I've more sympathy for you OP habing to listen to the details of his vanity and stupidity.

Justcallmebebes · 26/05/2021 13:43

Can I have your uncle's number? (Assuming he has anything left) 🤣🤣

I do feel a bit sorry for him and am amazed at her gall, but you're right, no fool like an old fool. Lesson learnt

TheQueef · 26/05/2021 13:45

I think they call it rinsing now San
Is he ok?
Has it left him skint?

Sandra15 · 26/05/2021 13:59

@TheQueef

I think they call it rinsing now San Is he ok? Has it left him skint?
No he'll survive!
OP posts:
TheQueef · 26/05/2021 14:12

Hope karma pays her out.

It's happening to one of my Dads pals.
He insists she's just 'old fashioned or because covid. It's pretty obvious to everyone else but he doesn't want to hear it.

Craftycorvid · 26/05/2021 14:25

Ouch! Part of me thinks ‘well, maybe this is just how some women assert power in a patriarchal world’ and part of me thinks ‘but they are doing so by acting so ruthlessly, they do harm and it does nothing to change the power balance in any case.’ I feel for this chap but he really wasn’t thinking with his frontal lobes, was he?

Sandra15 · 26/05/2021 14:27

@billy1966 Yes I am surprised he's asked for my input on this. I did tell him that she was taking him for a ride initially but he wouldn't listen. He's long divorced from his wife and has no kids. His marriage broke up when he had an affair with a woman from work when we were kids, but he's got older and sillier, I think rather than actually learning from it.

Another uncle, bit younger, split with his wife when I was about 11 and my cousin a year younger. His wife is still bitter about it and it happened nearly 26 years ago and she's having counselling over it now.

Families can drive you nuts. And as for their sister, my mum? She doesn't give them the time of day and they ask me for my input because I am a 'modern girl'. You have to laugh!

OP posts:
mscynical · 26/05/2021 15:07

Exactly.
There was a programme on BBC called For Love or Money yesterday around 7 or 7.30 where two silly old fools (both over 70) had sent loads of money to a young woman (attractive, ends up being porn actress pics) both thinking she was coming to the UK to start a relationship with them. Obvbiously a scam. I guess that being kind the presenters did not point out to either bloke that she was 'fit' and young and neither of them were! Some might even say they are rather 'creepy'.
An (old) fool and his money are soon parted.

Athough of course I am sure this programme will reveal some daft women as well in the next episode.

billy1966 · 26/05/2021 16:21

OP,
Protect yourself from their drama.

They sound very tedious.

At least his giving her his money hasn't impacted anyone expecting an inheritance!

Sensateria · 26/05/2021 16:25

Your uncle discusses his sex life with you, and shows you his emails to her in which he’s telling her about the glamorous underwear he’d like her to wear?

Yeah that’s quite creepy.

Sandra15 · 26/05/2021 18:33

@Sensateria

Your uncle discusses his sex life with you, and shows you his emails to her in which he’s telling her about the glamorous underwear he’d like her to wear?

Yeah that’s quite creepy.

Yes I was surprised. There was no mention of sex though, and the emails were quite chaste really which made me smile a bit. He never actually had sex with her either. There's never been any suggestion of creepiness about him as we were growing up.
OP posts:
LemmysAceCard · 26/05/2021 21:34

@mscynical

Exactly. There was a programme on BBC called For Love or Money yesterday around 7 or 7.30 where two silly old fools (both over 70) had sent loads of money to a young woman (attractive, ends up being porn actress pics) both thinking she was coming to the UK to start a relationship with them. Obvbiously a scam. I guess that being kind the presenters did not point out to either bloke that she was 'fit' and young and neither of them were! Some might even say they are rather 'creepy'. An (old) fool and his money are soon parted. Athough of course I am sure this programme will reveal some daft women as well in the next episode.
I saw that last night, the bloke who they brought in the studio really really did not want to believe that “Jennifer” was fake. Everyone told him that this fit beautiful young girl would never be interested in a 70 year old man, who dressed like a tramp covered in cat hair.

He even did research and was convinced that “Jennifer” was real and other people had used her pictures to con people, he just refused to believe it.

A fool and his money are easily parted - a fool and his money are lucky to get together in the first place.

Bluntness100 · 26/05/2021 21:37

That’s really sad, and I feel bad for him, he was lonely and fell stupidly for the wrong person and did something really stupid financially.

FlyNow · 27/05/2021 15:08

Stupidly fell for the wrong person? What a coincidence that he just "happened" to "fall in love" with a much younger women. Sorry but if you are lonely, you chat to someone your own age (and there are plenty as women on average live longer than men). He just wanted to use his money to get sex from a younger women, as he knows he won't get it any other way. Didn't work out, all fair and all that.

Bluntness100 · 27/05/2021 15:09

@FlyNow

Stupidly fell for the wrong person? What a coincidence that he just "happened" to "fall in love" with a much younger women. Sorry but if you are lonely, you chat to someone your own age (and there are plenty as women on average live longer than men). He just wanted to use his money to get sex from a younger women, as he knows he won't get it any other way. Didn't work out, all fair and all that.
Wow, well that’s a bit unpleasant.
Aquamarine1029 · 27/05/2021 15:12

Since he's asked, I'd tell him exactly what kind of fool he's been. Honestly, does he have no sense at all?

pointythings · 27/05/2021 16:54

I don't have a lot of sympathy, but then two of my friends were left by their husbands for younger, pretty child-free women. This is the risk you run as an older man if you go after a much younger woman, own it.

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