No fool like an old fool

[Sandra15]

My uncle who is now 68 became involved with a woman in her 50s about three years ago. Rather glamorous, had a decent job herself, working as a court clerk which she seemed good at. Fond of posting pictures of herself in soft focus shots on Facebook, and a bit of a self-promoter. Nothing sexual happened between them, but they did meet in person and he met her elderly parents and her sister. He actually showed me emails he had sent to her, about how he would like her to wear glamorous lingerie and hold her in bed (yes, I know, cheese). He also bought her a huge diamond ring from Boodles, and bought a house IN HER SOLE NAME FOR CASH in Cheshire, with the agreement that he would move in with her and her parents.

After the purchase had gone through she dumped him. Not immediately, but after a while, and she kept the house as it was in her name. That was the end of that, even though my uncle sent some protracted emails to her and her family.

Now, he has discovered from this woman's sister that that in January 2020 she sold the house and used the money that she received to purchase another property in Cheshire. She never discussed this with him at all and he's miffed.

He's asked me what I think. I don't think I dare tell him!

@Sometimesfraught82

* Please, just grow up*

For highlighting the somewhat unusually open relationship you have with your uncle

Is this the same uncle you talk about on another thread that you also seem to know a great deal amount personally!

I totally object to your inappropriate comments and have reported you.

Sadly this kind of scam, those done online in particular, seems to be on the rise. In the US it's now the largest scam around, by financial value. In some sad cases it can even be relatives who identify potential victims [NOT here, I hasten to add].

@waterSpider

Sadly this kind of scam, those done online in particular, seems to be on the rise. In the US it's now the largest scam around, by financial value. In some sad cases it can even be relatives who identify potential victims [NOT here, I hasten to add].

I know. I don't actually remember how he originally met her. I don't think it was online, though. He met her in real life, her sister, brother, her parents etc. She's probably 18 years younger than him. I don't know why the family didn't smell a rat.

He knows he's been a fool but still stays in touch with her sister. I don't know why.

Ho ho ho - I'm with the other posters cheering on pensioners being scammed out of their money - such japes ! We should cheer on these women.

In a few days this 'case' will probably be appearing on the various MGTOW ('men going their own way') channels, sites and threads, warning men to have nothing to do with women.

@waterSpider

In a few days this 'case' will probably be appearing on the various MGTOW ('men going their own way') channels, sites and threads, warning men to have nothing to do with women.

Yes, and alas, all they do is round their lives around women. Obsessively. How bizzare.

Good for her!

It's nice hearing a woman come out ahead when most of the time it's abusers, cheaters, time wasters, cocklodgers, screwing women over.

[quote drpet49]@YouShouldLeave

Good for her? Yeah what a lovely woman preying on older men. Good for her prodtituting herself to get a free house. Bravo! [/quote]
Yes.

He’s an old geezer, trying for woman 20 years younger than him.

Men use women all the time.
Be it sex, looks, emotional labour, personal maid, the list is endless.

So yes, good for her.
Good for any woman who stops being fool for a man and get all they can out of them.

I don’t think the woman has behaved ethically.

But she did not coerce the man.

She did not force him to part with his money. He knew full well that in order to progress a relationship with a woman whom he otherwise had no chance with he’d have to pay money to even out the disparity.

Unfortunately for him, the woman wasn't prepared to have sex or move in with him for money. Which is what he had envisioned.

I find it hard to be outraged at the woman, the uncle sounds obsessed as he can’t even walk away now.

He (and you) need to let the money go, it's gone, he was played - but if he was looking for a genuine relationship he should have been dating women his own age, not trying to buy the affections of a much younger stranger.

I watch Love or Money occasionally and I'm gobsmacked that people even start talking to people who are quite obviously out of their league, I understand the lonliness that drives it but honestly??

Update on this. My uncle sent her a lengthy email telling her what he thought of her for selling up and not giving him any of the money. I have this morning told him to block her on everything. I have also seen her on Facebook, with a tattooed silver fox type who's quite good looking, more her own age.

I was furious to see in his email that he bought her this bloody house and engagement ring because "as you know once you told me that you were dating a wealthy property developer from Chester I realised that it was time to offer to purchase house for you near your parents in as I wanted you to end your relationship with him and to enter one with me. I always considered you to be a special person and I strived to be worthy of you. As you know by my actions in the past I would do anything to please you" Christ that is some pick me dance off isn't it?

Now she's sold it and bought another and this silver fox is probably in it with her. I hope he has his head screwed on the right way.

As for my uncle, he contacted her because his ex had died. I really think he needs some form of counselling but am a bit afraid to suggest it. I dread hearing from him.

The email he sent me was in reply to one from her, which in turn was a reply to him (I didn't see the original, but it was about his ex's funeral). It was full of crap. I am not defending my uncle, he is a silly old fool, but the stuff she said: "it was nice that the Pastor got up and mentioned you and your special relationship. My heart was saddened for her sister, who was visibly hurting. It was sad to hear that her sister was the only person she had shared history with and now that was gone. It was endearing to hear her speak of C's infectious laughter, and her kindness."

I think she is a classic narcissist, and he is a classic fool.

I could never do what she did, but what a lucky woman 😂

I was furious at him, for being so obsequious with her.

Her FB page is full of comments about what a lovely person she is, the old chestnut 'beautiful inside and out' and so on. I think she's a narcissist, classic one, who feeds off people and supply.

I hope my crackers uncle no longer is that source of supply. He's a 100% idiot.

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear what's happened to your uncle. This woman's name might be on the legal title, but your uncle paid for it and therefore has a beneficial interest in the property. He can get a court order declaring so. He might even be able to get an order for the property to be transferred into his name. He needs to speak to a solicitor. You can DM me if you need recommendations

Lots of speculation and assumptions on this thread. On the surface it sounds suspect (and I'd be uncomfortable accepting gifts unless I was 100% into the relationship), but…

We have no idea why the relationship ended. For all we know he could’ve been a nightmare to her after he bought the house. After all, we hear all the time of people suddenly changing once they’re married (yes, I know they didn't) so why not after something like a big gift? He’s hardly going to admit to being an abuser is he. He may or may not be an innocent "victim" in this.

We have no evidence to say she was only interested in him for his money. She may or may not have been.

We have no evidence to say she scammed him/targeted him for his money. She may or may not have done

We have no idea why “nothing sexual happened between them”

So if she scammed him she behaved badly, but if not then it’s unfortunately just one of those things.

My uncle sent her a lengthy email telling her what he thought of her for selling up and not giving him any of the money
Why did he expect to receive money from the sale? Gifts should always be given unconditionally, and should only be given if the person isn’t going to feel wretched if the relationship ends. Otherwise contracts should be written.
What reason did she give for dumping him?

How expensive do gifts have to be before we can accept them and not feel like shits if we later end the relationship? You’ve said “he’ll survive”, suggesting she didn’t rinse him.