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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No fool like an old fool

66 replies

Sandra15 · 26/05/2021 10:36

My uncle who is now 68 became involved with a woman in her 50s about three years ago. Rather glamorous, had a decent job herself, working as a court clerk which she seemed good at. Fond of posting pictures of herself in soft focus shots on Facebook, and a bit of a self-promoter. Nothing sexual happened between them, but they did meet in person and he met her elderly parents and her sister. He actually showed me emails he had sent to her, about how he would like her to wear glamorous lingerie and hold her in bed (yes, I know, cheese). He also bought her a huge diamond ring from Boodles, and bought a house IN HER SOLE NAME FOR CASH in Cheshire, with the agreement that he would move in with her and her parents.

After the purchase had gone through she dumped him. Not immediately, but after a while, and she kept the house as it was in her name. That was the end of that, even though my uncle sent some protracted emails to her and her family.

Now, he has discovered from this woman's sister that that in January 2020 she sold the house and used the money that she received to purchase another property in Cheshire. She never discussed this with him at all and he's miffed.

He's asked me what I think. I don't think I dare tell him!

OP posts:
YouShouldLeave · 27/05/2021 17:17

@FlyNow

Stupidly fell for the wrong person? What a coincidence that he just "happened" to "fall in love" with a much younger women. Sorry but if you are lonely, you chat to someone your own age (and there are plenty as women on average live longer than men). He just wanted to use his money to get sex from a younger women, as he knows he won't get it any other way. Didn't work out, all fair and all that.
exactly
katy1213 · 27/05/2021 17:30

Where can I meet an old fool like this?

Famousinlove · 27/05/2021 17:42

How the hell did she convince him to put the property in her name, didn't he think that was suspicious?

YouShouldLeave · 27/05/2021 18:28

@katy1213

Where can I meet an old fool like this?
🤣😂
frazzledasarock · 27/05/2021 20:41

Come on now, the 68 year old new full well he had no chance with this younger woman which is why he threw money at her.

How many dates have you been on till the bloke buys you a house fully paid in cash?

Flowers I understand, dinner I get. A house! He’s buying sex with a younger woman there who wouldn’t normally touch him with someone else’s barge pole. He knows it she knows it.

In this case it didn’t work 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sandra15 · 28/05/2021 00:20

@Famousinlove

How the hell did she convince him to put the property in her name, didn't he think that was suspicious?
I have no idea. He just had rose tinted glasses on and sometimes beer goggles, I think. He just believed what she said. Breathtaking isn't it?
OP posts:
Sandra15 · 28/05/2021 00:21

He’s buying sex with a younger woman there who wouldn’t normally touch him with someone else’s barge pole. He knows it she knows it.

And if he is to be believed he didn't even get a shag out of it!

OP posts:
FlyNow · 28/05/2021 04:19

Wow, well that’s a bit unpleasant

Is it? I don't have a problem with what he has done, it's two consenting adults after all. But it's hardly an innocent victim tricked. If he was just lonely he'd easily find a relationship with a fellow 70 year old right now, at no cost to him. But he wouldn't want that (because "eww") so...

camperqueen54 · 28/05/2021 04:33

His dick became his brain and there you have it.

joystir59 · 28/05/2021 04:36

He's a fucking idiot.

StormcloakNord · 28/05/2021 04:42

There's no denying he's an idiot.

However, I think she's also a horrid person. To knowingly lead someone on (which is exactly what she did), take their money & then run off with it? You have to be a special kind of arsehole to do that with a clear conscience.

joystir59 · 28/05/2021 05:10

I think she has done absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever. She took him at face value. He got what he deserved. Assuming he's mentally competent.

Sometimesfraught82 · 28/05/2021 05:15

You’re very close to your uncle

“Nothing sexual happened between them”
He’s showing you emails
You I use all about his finances it would seem

And the way you describe her

I get this sense that you perhaps were a little jealous?

TheReluctantPhoenix · 28/05/2021 05:38

She has done plenty wrong. A lot of people these days conflate ‘illegal’ with ‘wrong’. She has lied about her feelings to get his money.

I do wonder how posters who are blaming him feel about romance scams where mostly middle aged women are scammed out of money by much younger ‘attractive’ men?

drpet49 · 28/05/2021 05:39

@YouShouldLeave

Good for her? Yeah what a lovely woman preying on older men. Good for her prodtituting herself to get a free house. Bravo! Hmm

joystir59 · 28/05/2021 05:39

Yes I accept she did lie about her intentions. She was morally lacking.

Sometimesfraught82 · 28/05/2021 05:47

@joystir59

Yes I accept she did lie about her intentions. She was morally lacking.
Do you know the woman out of interest?
THisbackwithavengeance · 28/05/2021 06:03

I think she is a disgusting human being as well and also don't see why posters are cheering for her.

Hopefully your uncle will chose better next time.

She's a court clerk? I don't think her employer would be happy as this kind of thing is probably not illegal as such but verges on a fine line with fraud and coercion.

If I were your uncle, I would consider lodging an official complaint with the police and MoJ. They'll probably investigate at work and at least it'll make her sweat a bit.

Sometimesfraught82 · 28/05/2021 06:04

@THisbackwithavengeance

I think she is a disgusting human being as well and also don't see why posters are cheering for her.

Hopefully your uncle will chose better next time.

She's a court clerk? I don't think her employer would be happy as this kind of thing is probably not illegal as such but verges on a fine line with fraud and coercion.

If I were your uncle, I would consider lodging an official complaint with the police and MoJ. They'll probably investigate at work and at least it'll make her sweat a bit.

This honestly made me laugh out loud!! Grin
frazzledasarock · 28/05/2021 06:12

How is anything this woman did coercion? The uncle sounds like he did everything happily and willingly.

Relationships don’t always work out. We’d be telling a woman in this scenario not to hand over a house to her boyfriend.

The writing was on the wall on this one right from the start the uncle wilfully ignored every single red flag and chose to lavish gifts on this woman.

I’d say the same regardless of sex of the person.

The uncle, who is sane and in charge of all his faculties and an independent adult, chose to ignore signs and his nieces warnings and has now been unceremoniously dumped. You don’t get gifts back after giving them. No matter how lavish or inappropriate they are, should the recipient choose to keep them.

TeddingtonTrashbag · 28/05/2021 06:15

T’were ever thus. A friend lavished money (not a house but a new car among other things) in a similar situation with a younger woman who did not put out...

Sandra15 · 28/05/2021 08:46

@Sometimesfraught82

You’re very close to your uncle

“Nothing sexual happened between them”
He’s showing you emails
You I use all about his finances it would seem

And the way you describe her

I get this sense that you perhaps were a little jealous?

Please, just grow up. I have nothing further to say.
OP posts:
Sandra15 · 28/05/2021 08:47

Do you know the woman out of interest? No @joystir59 I have only seen pictures of her.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 28/05/2021 09:54

I got scammed on a dating site and paid money to an entity I'd never laid eyes on. So I have a bit of sympathy. It was money I could just about afford to lose, thank goodness. He was extremely dumb; so was I. 'Money can't buy you love' is a factual statement, not just a saying.

As for those who thought he was being silly to think someone 20 years younger would be interested; that's why he bought her the house, he knew the money was at least part of whatever was going on.

And really amazed at comments that she's done nothing wrong. Really? She's a scammer. I accept totally that I was the idiot in my interaction, and there's no legal remedy. But it doesn't make the scanner an innocent party. 'Do whatever you can get away with' isn't a good way to live.

Sometimesfraught82 · 28/05/2021 10:14

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