Dating

[spaggboll]

Is anyone else not bothered about dating and being in a relationship?

I haven't been on a date for about a year. With online dating I had a few situationships. There was lots of chasing from the men I dated in the beginning. Then they gradually lost interest or decided they weren't ready for a relationship. I don't think
I can be bothered now.

I cant be arsed tbh. Though lately I've been thinking I'd really like to snog some hot guys. Like I'm not getting any younger and I'd love to be able to look back and say I had lots of 'ooft, butterflies' moments. Short lived but steamy you know lol.

But I find dating is mostly just tedious. And I dont know if I can be arsed with a relationship. And usually if you get to the point of a hot kiss with a guy...its not long off something else being expected. Which again, I mostly cant be bothered with lol.

Meh!

No I have no interest in another relationship. Already decided when my kids leave home I'm moving to the arse end of nowhere in Wales and having animals and that's it.

@Sideorderofchips I plan to do this when I retire but probably not in Wales. The side arse of somewhere

I loved Wales as a child when we lived on the border. So my aim is to have a small holding and have retired ponies, goats, chickens and cats and dogs

Same here. Although like Umbrella I'd quite like to snog a few more guys before I hand in my notice on that score. Not fussed about relationships though. It'll be me and some (more) animals and some tatty cottage out in the wilderness when my youngest has flown the nest

@Umberellatheweatha I've had lots of "butterfly moments" but they don't seem to last. Then there's the rollercoaster dip of being let down and disappointed.

I think I'm lacking confidence about my appearance as well. I feel I've aged quite a bit during the pandemic.

I think the pandemic has aged us all!

Yeah I think butterfly moments are short lived generally. As anything more than a bit of fun they usually lead to painful drama.

I miss being 22 and snogging in nightclubs. You go home flushed and exhilarated at the end of the night and theres no slow and inevitable loss of interest and subsequent loss of confidence in yourself.

Ah to be young!

God yes me! I veer between feeling lonely and wanting to find someone but mostly I just feel anxious about trying dating again. The rejection, the analysing everything, the hit to my self esteem has meant I've decided to stay single. I'm not entirely happy about it but I can't face any more OLD its soul destroying.

A year seems like nothing to me now, I’ve been single for 4 years (no dates at all) but I’m a single mum so not easy even if I wanted to

@Mermaidwaves - I'm the same. It would have been nice to have a hug today but maybe I'm too straightforward for OLD.

I can't understand how someone who compliments me and seems to want to spend time with me suddenly doesn't want to know. But then there's no fool like an old fool lol.

@spaggboll I think we are too straightforward for OLD

I've found OLD soul destroying at times and messes with my head. I so want to meet someone but I hate the thought of going on dates, I want to meet someone in a pub or the gym and for them to ask me for a drink as they like me not just the look of me. If I could skip dating and go straight to a relationship it would be perfect

Yes, it can mess with your head. I don't miss the not knowing where I stand situations.

im in minds i know i dont want to live with someone but couple of times a week company would be good

OLD is utter carp i either get ones that want a domestic slave or others that are looking for casual sex and pics

but i brush it of as i like my own company and certainly not desperate enough for just anybody,good job really

Me! Very happy single. No hassle, freedom, financial security, peace, starfishing. Sex I'd be up for yes (see username) but no more than that! What would be the point? My life is great as it is.

I feel you. I had many dates with different guys, but they never led to anything real and big. Finally, I decided to take a break and understood I was good being single. Then the quarantine began and I registered on Bumble just to make friends and meet interesting people (you can check the bumble dating site review if interested) and I met a good man there. Now he is my husband. So, don't hurry, if you are not ready for dating now, just enjoy your time.

It's such effort these days. There are too many apps and they are all the same

I just ended things with someone I met at 24 I'm now nearly 46 and I've pulled up the drawbridge. Good friends, books, projects, films, dramas, music, travel, animals, work and my house are more than enough.

I haven't been on a date for about a year. With online dating I had a few situationships. There was lots of chasing from the men I dated in the beginning. Then they gradually lost interest

Did you show much interest in them?

It's been well.over a decade since I last went on a date but I did run the gauntlet of OLD before finding someone. What I did notice on more then a few occasions was what can only be described 'lack of enthusiasm' during those first 3 or 4 dates. It was me generally doing the leg work with only a few crumbs of interest thrown back in my direction. Needless to say you come to the conclusion that they are just not that into you, which is fine, their choice, I would move on only to get a message two weeks later wondering 'where I had gone', it was infuriating at times.

This is really interesting.
I also haven't properly dated in about 4 years, although I did have one relationship that lasted 18 months but it was fwb for the most part before it turned into a relationship.

I'm too jaded, cynical, disinterested to bother finding the 'one' at the age of 39. I'm currently pregnant via IVF and a sperm donor so the child/family aspect is taken care of. So what would I be looking for? Intimacy/genuine care? But how often do you even find that in relationships?? I'm reluctant to go back to casual sex as I also found that soul destroying but then I crave skin to skin contact and some affection regardless of how instrumental it is.....

Yeah, count me in. Glad to see there's a bunch of us :)

I had a series of disastrous short relationships, went to counselling, and discovered that most of the stuff I'd been seeking from a relationship was stuff I really ought to have been providing for myself. Once I started doing that, I fully lost interest in a new relationship. Why bother? I'm happier than I've ever been!

I don't rule out meeting someone, but frankly, they're going to have to blow my socks off before I'll let them encroach on my happy single life. I think my view on relationships is very healthy; basically, don't do it unless it massively improves your life, and make sure you've learned to bein happy single before you do it.

@DillonPanthersTexas - that's an interesting point that I had considered. I do need to have better straightforward communication but I think it was pretty obvious that I liked the men I was dating. I think I am quite hard to read though.

Spaggboll

I guess I just had zero time for games. Far too many people prattled around playing it cool or feigning indifference. If my phone call is not returned or my text message goes unanswered I just assumed they were not that keen which surprised me given how well the actual date went. Their choice of course but I am not going to start bombing them with follow up messages and get accused of stalking. If you like me and want to see me again just say yes to my invitation! It's not hard.

I'm 40 next year and have given up after being single for around 5 years. I spend my time working, with friends, my pets, fitness etc.

Every month I have a massage which helps with the lack of human to human touch.