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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

They swapped numbers

74 replies

Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 21:41

So, on Friday my boyfriend's motorbike broke down. A woman stopped, offered him a lift, they chatted for the roughly 5 minute journey. He had no cash on him to offer as a thank you, so asked for her number to get in touch later.

Hi is an absolute gentleman and very attractive to boot, we have a great relationship, no codes on phones, no secrecy blah blah.

What do you make of that?

OP posts:
dollypartonshirspray · 17/05/2021 21:42

I would think I had a thoroughly decent human who wanted to thank another for a good deed.

Pebbledashery · 17/05/2021 21:42

I just think that's basic politeness. Nothing to worry about. Are you generally insecure about anything else in your relationship?

Ughmaybenot · 17/05/2021 21:45

Goodness me. Are you insecure for another reason as this, to me, seems to be a huge overreaction?

Lozzerbmc · 17/05/2021 21:46

Bit odd to swap numbers. And no offence to your bf but I wouldnt give a ‘strange’ man a lift.

A lovely chap helped me when my car had a flat tyre and offered to change it the other week but we didnt swap numbers….

Paddingtonthebear · 17/05/2021 21:47

I assume he has offered this information to you?

I wouldn’t be worried based on what you’ve said but then I don’t know him. Do you have a gut reaction?

Original poster
Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 21:50

No, absolutely no worries from me at all But my friend thinks I'm bonkers and should be watching his phone. I just can't understand this mindset at all!

OP posts:
Sakurami · 17/05/2021 21:51

I don't see the problem

AnaViaSalamanca · 17/05/2021 21:51

I find it quite odd. As a woman I wouldn’t offer a man a lift. If I did I would exchange numbers or expect money or wxtended contacts. Why does he need to pay her anyway?

It’s quite fishy and she probably thinks he is single.

Pebbledashery · 17/05/2021 21:52

Not sure why you'd make a thread about it if you seemingly have no issue with it. It's a non issue. Be happy and move on. He sounds like a good guy.

BitOfAFaff · 17/05/2021 21:52

@Sillawithans

No, absolutely no worries from me at all But my friend thinks I'm bonkers and should be watching his phone. I just can't understand this mindset at all!
Your friend needs to butt out and stop trying to make you worry.

It's a bit weird to change numbers IMO.

Original poster
Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 21:53

@Ughmaybenot it seems it's yourself that's overreacted as you don't know what my reaction was Wink

OP posts:
Norabatty40 · 17/05/2021 21:55

Sorry but to be fair, if some guy i helped out asked for my number it would raise my eyebrow

Original poster
Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 21:56

@Lozzerbmc I'd never give a lift to a man either I don't think, no matter how handsome!

@Pebbledashery just interested in what others thought that's all.

OP posts:
Ughmaybenot · 17/05/2021 21:56

If you say so Confused You started a thread on mumsnet about it, it’s obviously on your mind. I can only speak as I find.

Moonshine11 · 17/05/2021 21:58

Well has he been in touch with her to sort a thank you out?

Original poster
Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 21:59

@Ughmaybenot it's ok, you just assumed I was insecure, no biggie.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 22:01

@Moonshine11 I don't know, I haven't asked him. I haven't really thought about it since he told me about it.

OP posts:
lms2017 · 17/05/2021 22:06

Surely he could have said thank you there and then as she dropped him off . Not sure I would expect someone to message me later again to say thanks !.
However everyone's different.
Would he not call you to come? Or did she stop instantly?.

Maybe just check in and ask did you manage to thank that lady from the other day .
However if it doesn't worry you then just leave it be .

Accidentallydeletedoopsss · 17/05/2021 22:06

I think he sounds like a lovely person and I wouldn’t have any issues with it

Moonshine11 · 17/05/2021 22:11

[quote Sillawithans]@Moonshine11 I don't know, I haven't asked him. I haven't really thought about it since he told me about it.[/quote]
So I'm confused why you decided to make a MN thread about it if you haven't thought about it 😂🙈

BitOfAFaff · 17/05/2021 22:15

[quote Sillawithans]@Moonshine11 I don't know, I haven't asked him. I haven't really thought about it since he told me about it.[/quote]
How did your friend find out then?

Original poster
Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 22:18

@Moonshine11 yep, that's it. I was just interested in what other women would think of this situation. My friend said most women would think like her. My boyfriend is a wonderful person and would help anyone.

@lms2017 he was miles away from home and I'd rescued him the week before. He was in the middle of nowhere this time.

OP posts:
Imjustsootired · 17/05/2021 22:19

He told you. That's a good thing.

Still a bit weird. What's he gonna do now then? Text her to say thank you....again? Ask for her address to send flowers ?

I would ask why exactly he needed the number... I.e. what his plans are regarding contacting her.

Despite your breezy attitude...no offence, you seem worried by it. It cant just be because of your friends remarks? If you were as rock solid as you think you are with H, this wouldn't bother you.

Original poster
Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 22:21

@BitOfAFaff she just asked how he was getting on in his new job and where had they sent him this week, he works all over the country, I told her the location, she said oh god well at least you didn't have to collect him from there. He broke down the week before that and I had to go rescue him. I said oh he did and told her what happened. Hope that makes sense.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sillawithans · 17/05/2021 22:23

@Imjustsootired nah, not worried at all. I just couldn't believe my friends reaction and suggestion of keeping my eye on his phone.

OP posts: