OLD communication question

[Stripeyduvets]

I don’t know the best place for this so I’ll pop it here.

Been messaging someone on Tinder for a few days. Not too much. Just a bit but it might be an interesting person (or not. Absolutely no way to tell).

He gave me his mobile number saying his phone battery was running out but I had to go anyway so haven’t WhatsApped him, just kept communicating in the Tinder app.

Anyway. I messaged him yesterday and I can see he hasn’t read it.

I’m wondering whether to WhatsApp him later or just leave it. I guess the second. In ordinary circumstances you would assume that someone gave you their number because they wanted to hear from you but a day is a long time on Tinder…… and anyway he’s a complete stranger!

Do I WhatsApp him or just move on? Or wait a day or two first because not everyone is on Tinder 24/7?

Yes I’m overthinking. That’s what I do.

I don't think I follow; what good would giving you his number do if his phone battery was running out?

Anyway, back when I was OLD I often switched to Whatsapp after a bit of chat on Tinder. No big deal. I'd say it's quite encouraging that he hasn't seen the Tinder message yet, means he's not on there constantly looking for more matches?

message him on WhatsApp but don't have high expectations, most convos fizzle out or they turn into sex creeps but you never know he might be in the minority of being normal.

@ImInStealthMode

I don't think I follow; what good would giving you his number do if his phone battery was running out?

Anyway, back when I was OLD I often switched to Whatsapp after a bit of chat on Tinder. No big deal. I'd say it's quite encouraging that he hasn't seen the Tinder message yet, means he's not on there constantly looking for more matches?

He said he had two phones. I assumed it was a way to get me to give him his number (because who on earth would admit to having two phones if it was because they were married etc? And if one was a work phone then you wouldn’t have Tinder on one and be WhatsApping Tinder prospects on the other???)

No red flags apart from that one He asked me if I was single and what I was looking for from Tinder connections 🤷‍♀️

Yy @seensome my expectations are extremely low. I was surprised he hadn’t unmatched me yesterday. But I’m thinking the fact that I’m overthinking this so much is a sign that I should just leave it and move on.

If I gave someone my number - following a period of chatting on the dating app - I'd be a bit irked if they continued messaging me via the app.

We’d only chatted for an hour though maybe. Then he said his phone battery was dying and his message with his phone number crossed with mine saying I guess that’s my cue to go and do some work.

Good grief I hate myself for even giving this a second thought. I can guarantee that he hasn’t.

I have found that people who are keen to get off the app before meeting are often married and presumably delete/reinstall the app as convenient.

I’m old, cynical and always happy to meet anyone who seems likely face to face, but I never give my number out before meeting.

Aah, sorry, I thought you said that you'd been chatting to him for a few days when he gave you his number.
An hour is different.

That is of course another option: he hasn’t seen my message because he’s deleted the app for now. And the WhatsApp number is his burner phone!

🕵️‍♂️ Either way this is doing my head in, can’t be arsed with it.

@eatsleepread

Aah, sorry, I thought you said that you'd been chatting to him for a few days when he gave you his number. An hour is different.

Yes we’ve chatted on and off since then but the number thing happened fairly early on.

If you want to join a group of like minded people who OLD come and join us on the dating thread.

Well I went ahead and unmatched him, now I just need to decide whether to text or not.

@SortingItOut I'm scared that if I join the dating thread, I might start making a habit of overthinking!

@Stripeyduvets If you do overthink you can always post to get support from us all and we'll help with your thinking.

We are a friendly, supportive bunch🙂

He's probably married hence two phones. The one for OLD is probably turned on only when he can safely use it.

@SoloJazz there’s definitely something strange going on. But I don’t know if he even DOES have two phones. Because it would mean Tinder on one and texts on the other. Surely just easier to delete/reinstall Tinder if you were going to do that.

A bit of online detective work and I found out he has a 1yo child.

Feeling rather sad about it (the lying by omission), but also pleased that I spotted the red flags right from the first chat. I’m learning!

I’ve no idea whether he’ll reply to my message asking if there was anything else he wanted to tell me. I would like to think, for his partner’s sake, that they’ve split and he’s only been dishonest to me, but I have a feeling that they’re very much together. I’m curious to know whether he gets back to me or not. But most of all I just feel a bit sad.

I asked him about it and he blocked me, the wanker!

What am I meant to do now? Do I have to track down his wife or something? (Please no). I can just leave it can’t I?

@Stripeyduvets I wouldn't get involved, just block and delete him and move on.

Loads more men to chat too who hopefully won't be liars.

Just a bit shocked for his partner is all! It’s tough having a young child as it is, let alone lockdown and then this. So sad.

Relieved to hear I don’t need to do anything though.

(I hope he’s shitting himself right now!)

I have 2 mobiles, one isnt a burner, I am not one of the OCG hiding from AC12

Ones a work mobile i detest using or carrying and rarely if ever use or carry it, mostly lives in a drawe, the other is my personal mobile, the only one i own and that is mostly used for football, sports, instagram and taking pics of the kids/emails.. Nothing sinister about it..

The thread’s moved on a bit since then @isitsummertimeyet