He kissed his friend

[Popsi0]

I've namechanged but I'm so shocked and I really don't know what to do.

I've got a 6 week old ds and I've been with my partner for 3 years. Last night my partner told me he needed to tell my something as he felt guilty. He told me that a couple of weeks ago he kissed his (male) friend. He said he doesn't know why but he isn't gay and he isn't attracted to him.

I'm so shocked and really don't know where to go from here..

That was meant to say "isn't changed whether..."

Unsure if this is what you mean, but this sounds very homophobic

Yes, I’m hoping it’s just written badly but that’s what it reads like, totally homophobic.

I’d ask his friend what happened .......

I'm so confused!

You have nothing to be confused about.

He is a prick who has absolutely zero consideration for your feelings and you only told you this to alleviate his own guilt.

Get rid. He will only hurt you.

Sounds like he's bisexual and fancies his friend. Not only that but he's gone and tried to kiss him and now is in denial about the whole thing. What a very big mess :-( I'd get out of there asap OP and I say that as someone who unwittingly married a bisexual but in denial man.

@Popsi0

He went out for a drink with the friend but when he got back he wasn't drunk. He said he didn't mean to kiss his friend but apparently his friend didn't kiss him back. He said he apologised but said he loves me. I'm so confused!

I'm surprised his mate didn't lamp him.

Get rid of him he has tried to kiss a man. Oh and I'm not homophobic. It just isn't right just after you have had a baby he goes and tries to kiss a man. My last message was deleted by MNHQ. Dunno why. I think they took my comment in the wrong way.

He dumps this on you and then expects you to develop amnesia. I think he knows exactly why he did it but doesn’t want to address it. After your initial confusion, you might want to join him in his denial. I urge you not to because whatever is going on with him it didn’t start with his attempted kiss and probably won’t end there either.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

@Tomyoneandonly

Get rid of him he has tried to kiss a man. Oh and I'm not homophobic. It just isn't right just after you have had a baby he goes and tries to kiss a man. My last message was deleted by MNHQ. Dunno why. I think they took my comment in the wrong way.

You suggested that OP try to secure 'minimum contact' between the baby and its father, following this incident.

Why should she only allow minimum contact with his own child because he kissed someone else?

How can he say he kissed his friend and his friend didn't reciprocate? He fucking assaulted his friend, assuming he shoved his tongue down the poor man's throat.

I know you are a very new mum but get shot of this cheating scumbag. He won't suddenly have started kissing men, he's probably always been bi, and now he's done the hetero thing and become a dad, he thinks can pursue a relationship with a man now.

Sounds like he was testing the waters with his friend. WOnder how far it would've gone if his friend had kissed back.

The fact it’s a man is a red herring. Unless you’ve agreed to about open relationship then he shouldn’t be kissing other people. Especially when you’ve just had his baby!!!

Well he certainly got your attention focused off the baby and back on him...where he wants it.
The next line will be...'well you don't love me anymore now that you've had the baby so I was so confused I kissed my friend.
I say he's very self absorbed and you can expect all sorts of acting out behaviour now that there's a usurper to his throne.

Has he been in touch with his friend since?

He is on a relationship with you. He shouldn't kiss anyone else. That's the bottom line.

Oh gosh there’s much more to come out here op. Hugs.

He’s told before his friend tells you. He tried to kiss him and got rejected. Would he have told you if his friend had kissed him back? The answer is no.
I’m so sorry he’s done this to you. What an utter prick he is. You sound like you deserve all the love in the world. Don’t settle for this poor excuse of man.

I agree, I think he's being weird and attention-seeking

@Maddox33

How can he say he kissed his friend and his friend didn't reciprocate? He fucking assaulted his friend, assuming he shoved his tongue down the poor man's throat.

I know you are a very new mum but get shot of this cheating scumbag. He won't suddenly have started kissing men, he's probably always been bi, and now he's done the hetero thing and become a dad, he thinks can pursue a relationship with a man now.

This is spot on.

@Crazylikechocolate

My male married friend used to kiss everyone when he was drunk , I think he's grown out of it now , pretty sure he's not gay , just a silly love everyone drunk

But he wasn’t drunk?! OP said herself. I’m sorry but I think your male friend must have some bisexual tendencies at least. Most men wouldn’t kiss another man even if they were on a 3 day bender!!!

What would have happened if his mate had kissed him back? The only reason it didn't go further is because the mate didn't reciprocate.

@flashylamp

The fact he kissed a man is a red herring btw. He is in a committed relationship, he wouldn't be kissing anyone.

It's not a red herring.

If he kissed a woman he'd be a cheat, some women would still stay and work through that though.

If he kissed a man then he's still a cheat, but he's also possibly hiding his sexuality!