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Original poster

Getting an ex back

52 replies

Wellthatdidntgowell · 13/05/2021 15:40

So am wondering if this ever works?

I ended things. I had someone message me on social media saying they were seeing him too but found out since it was rubbish. When I ended it I didn’t answer his calls and he came over and wanted his stuff back and was angry I left him on the doorstep. I just didn’t know what to do.

I left it 5 days and contacted him, he’s angry said I should have had his back and that I treated him like a 🤬 leaving him on the doorstep and disrespected him. He’s also saying I watch his phone and don’t trust him etc.

I have been cheated on before so am wary. But I feel like such an idiot and I really want to make things right.

We have spoken everyday since I got in contact and he has calmed a little and just says let’s see how it goes, and let’s see maybe you will. But won’t phone me or see me. It’s been 2 weeks now.

What should I do? Is this a no am heartbroken and confused.

OP posts:
GammyLeg · 13/05/2021 20:36

Half the threads about cheaters here have them swearing on their child’s life to protest their innocence. It means absolutely nothing, their child isn’t going to combust if they’re lying so it’s an easy way to look sincere.

Umberellatheweatha · 13/05/2021 20:51

Yeah normal ppl don't go about swearing on other ppl life. Arrogant walkers trying to lie their ass off however...

GroovyPeanut · 13/05/2021 21:09

Why? Just why? Would anyone go on dating sites and use his pictures?
OP look at what he's saying... Can't you smell the bullshit?
Seriously?
Who are these people all trying to lie about him, and creating fake dating site profiles?
Also never fall for the "I swear on ( insert relation) life"
He's a bullshitter.

Original poster
Wellthatdidntgowell · 13/05/2021 21:18

He just said it has happened before on a couple of sites and he’s flattered

OP posts:
anunexaminedlife · 13/05/2021 21:22

It's a really unfortunate coincidence that not only have people set up fake dating profiles using his photos and details, and ALSO that a strange woman has completely made up an affair with him.

If it walks like a duck...

NotaCoolMum · 13/05/2021 21:28

@Wellthatdidntgowell

He just said it has happened before on a couple of sites and he’s flattered
He’s absolutely full of shit @Wellthatdidntgowell. Why on earth would anyone pretend to be him on a dating site?! And WHY, if he knew that it upset you- would he find it “flattering”?! If someone used my pictures on a dating site and jeopardised my relationship with my DP, I’d be LIVID- not flattered!! How old are you op?
Original poster
Wellthatdidntgowell · 13/05/2021 21:33

I’m 39

OP posts:
Goldielockdown2 · 13/05/2021 21:35

He's a cheater in some capacity, I'm telling you now.
You got shot of him, stood strong, took back the power....don't give all that up now that the hard part is over by asking for him back!

NotaCoolMum · 13/05/2021 21:36

Have you had many relationships before? I’m only asking as you seem a bit naive to the HUGE 🚩 🚩🚩🚩that are glaringly obvious.

RLEOM · 13/05/2021 21:40

He's pulling your leg. Nobody uses someone else's pictures on a dating site for starters. I can't actually believe he thought you'd fall for that bullshit! Also, as others have said, swearing on his child's life means nothing. I found a picture of his "best friend" naked on our bed, my ex swore on our baby's life that he'd never had sex with her and she wasn't aware he'd taken the photo... She was aware and they had had sex. 🙄 He threw our child under a bus to cover his cheating ass.

Honestly, nothing good comes from this type of man.

ILoveShula · 13/05/2021 21:43

Don't tell me, his ex was a psycho...

Swearing on his kid's life is awful.

Bin him. He sounds a complete arsehole.

SirB0bby · 13/05/2021 21:49

I assumed you were in your early 20's from your post and comments. It sounds as though your relationship was quite toxic. If I were you, I'd move on.

Wolfiefan · 13/05/2021 21:52

People have repeatedly stolen his pics for use on dating sites? Seriously? Pull the other one it’s got bells on it. Hmm
All sounds rather sordid.

Original poster
Wellthatdidntgowell · 13/05/2021 21:55

No I’m not young or naive but I do like to see the good in people.

OP posts:
queenofthenorthwest · 13/05/2021 21:55

He's just not worth the hassle and the mental torment this is doing to you.

oreo2020 · 13/05/2021 21:56

Story of my life.

I dumped him once when his ex tipped me off about him chatting up her friends. Few days later I regretted .. he said I believed his ex, I didn't have his back, he would never do it blah blah blah... I asked for forgiveness and he 'kindly' took me back.

(Should have stayed split at this point).

Later I found out many sex and dating sites he was one. Catfished him, we chatted on these sites, he sent his own pics etc.. when confronted he said it was not him and must be his ex doing shit on him. Should have dumped there and then but we had holidays with kids 2 days later.. went .. and stayed...

Later found out more sites.. dumped him again... he came back crawling and begged and pestered and proposed a ring and life together.. and admitted dating sites but said he never cheated (swore on his kids life) .. I hesitated but his pestering including through my friends and kids was so hard I decided it's easier to forgive... so I accepted him back.

Never felt right since, I know I cannot trust him. I never will. I am gathering my strengths to leave him for good. He is a really good boyfriend.. but he is a player...

My mistake for accepting him back first time round. Don't make my mistake. Where there is smoke there is fire.

Wolfiefan · 13/05/2021 21:58

There’s a difference between “seeing the good” and staying with a lying cheat though. Confused

Original poster
Wellthatdidntgowell · 13/05/2021 21:59

Well he’s not begging to come back, I’m going to him. Maybe he wanted a way out.

OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 13/05/2021 22:02

Wise move op- I know you want to see the good in him but from what you’ve said, the bad FAR outweighs the good

queenofthenorthwest · 13/05/2021 22:03

Fuck him op. It feels like the worst now but it will get easier and then you'll be over him.

Get rid, block.

Talk to your friends, talk on here but ffs get rid.

A good relationship should not be this hard.

Get rid and get on with your life. None of us are getting out alive so pick someone who is worth it before you end up feeling like your stick with him.

DizzySquirrel90 · 13/05/2021 22:05

Screw this OP sounds like you deserve much better.

Goldielockdown2 · 13/05/2021 22:07

It's fine to see the good in people. But spotting the bad in people isn't a character flaw. He isn't worth it.

RantyAnty · 13/05/2021 22:16

Seeing the good in people doesn't mean ignoring the huge red flags waving in your face.

Liars and cheats aren't good people.

He probably laughed at you for believing his bs.

How many times has someone used your identity on dating sites?

You say you love him but it's clear he doesn't love you as he wouldn't act like he has.

Original poster
Wellthatdidntgowell · 13/05/2021 22:21

Actually I have had people use my photographs on a dating site. I used to be a model. However the name, age and location were all totally different

OP posts:
Umberellatheweatha · 13/05/2021 22:31

Theres a difference between seeing the good in people and just believing what you want to believe because you have love blinkers on.

You gotta love yourself most of all. Otherwise ppl will just take advantage of your good nature.

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