I know this is a zombie(ish) thread but for some reason it's picked up again and I just saw it for the first time.
Just wanted to say congratulations 
OP, for weathering that storm, not least getting through all the incredibly vicious comments on here! 🤨
I'm glad all's well that ends well but just wanted to point out that when it wasn't, you behaved with absolute integrity and courage. Some people might have pulled a sickie, or refused to believe the evidence of their own eyes. You actually blocked him, and managed to say the right things to him when you did have brief contact! Well done! That's really impressive.
Until I realised how stupid I am for not realising it was literally all fake...
I don't see any evidence of you being stupid. Quite the opposite. I completely understand this sense of shame and foolishness from having been in an abusive relationship. You just feel such a moron for not noticing, so you don't trust your own judgement any more. But it sounds as though you really can trust your own judgement. It's not your fault you were involved with a complete psychopath before. Some people are just wired up differently and it makes them incredibly hard to deal with in a relationship.
I clearly attract absolutely cruel awful men. I don’t think I will ever date again.
No, no, no, you don't. You were really unlucky before. Not. Your. Fault. Better luck next time, except that we don't leave it to luck, do we? As you have clearly demonstrated! Nice job!!!
I am scared I will just start crying if I see him. It sounds so dramatic and I’m really not a dramatic or emotionally labile person
You clearly thought crying would be a sign of weakness, but it's not. It's a symptom of injury. You're obviously not a drama queen, so respect your own feelings and don't worry about showing them.
I posted on mn about it and was essentially told I could not possibly be that stupid, that no one is that dumb and that I a horrible person. I don’t feel like I can’t tell anyone what happened in real life because what if they think the same?
It's such a shame that MN can be so wonderful but also, sometimes, such a pit of vipers. You seem to have attracted a lot of venom from people projecting their own insecurities and judgement (you wicked husband stealer!). Please don't let yourself be persuaded that you're stupid and/or horrible, either here or in real life. You sound great.
I thought I was in a relationship with a wonderful man and we were planning a future together.
Well, I hope you're back to that confidence again now! All relationships go through little crises of misunderstanding that can bring us closer. I hope that's what has happened here, and that he really is that lovely man you believed in (and now believe in again), because you deserve it. And, just to repeat, you CAN trust your own judgement.
Enjoy your weekend! 
